Turning 50. Tell me how it changed your life?

[NewStarterPack]

I am just about to turn 50. I've had a very sh!t 2 years in the run up to this and I want my 50th birthday to be a turning point in my life.

Come share your stories about turning 50 and if it made you look at life differently and you changed your attitude or thoughts on some things.

It didn't make a blind bit of difference. I'm still doing a job I love, I have the same hobbies ( gigs, films , hiking, travelling ',cooking ). I still exercise.

Well it didn’t change much! At 50 I had two children still in primary school. I had been widowed a few years before and had just moved to an island for a fresh start.
I did finally think if I don’t fo things for myself no one else will - so I bought myself a new (ex demo) car. I decided I really did need to put myself first or else the kids would end up with no parents al all. I stopped feeling guilty about getting regular facials, paying for a personal trainer etc. The move was based it just on if there was a good school but also if I would be happy too. I don’t believe adults are less deserving than children - they may be the future but we rule the roost now so we better be up for it and in good health, mind and body.
So I guess turning 50 meant acknowledging my own worth and place in the world.

So I guess turning 50 meant acknowledging my own worth and place in the world

Pip. Yes, that is it. I hear what you are saying.

I've got primary DC too and my DH works away basically 1/3 of the year and I am home alone staring at the wall. I only realised how tired I am when my DC all went away on a school trip at the same time and DH was away too and I slept for 3 days and mentally rested. I feel like I've given them my all and now I'm sat here 2 stone overweight, crap p/t job, DH always away and I basically just exist as the housekeeper. I worry about everyone and everything.

I'm sorry about losing your partner. I also understand what you mean about taking care of yourself as one of my parents died when I was in my teens and I wish they were still here.

What I want is to wake up on my 50th and to realise how much time I've wasted working about sh!t and emotional eating when things don't go right.

I am a year older than you and also in a bad phase over the last 2-3 years for various reasons.

The good news is that apparently 50ish is the trough of a U-shaped lifetime happiness curve, and things get inexorably better from now on:

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/may/05/happiness-curve-life-gets-better-after-50-jonathan-rauch

I hope that is true, for both our sakes! Happy 50th OP

That's a good article Lark. I'm hoping that happens. I've definitely had and still have some midlife malaise.

I also had terrible peri-menopausal symptoms which have eased off and hopefully won't comeback.

Another one to say it was just a continuation.
Don't wait to turn 50. Start changing things you want changed now.

I was 49 when dh died. I am in seize the day mode ever since. Now is the time; now is the rainy day; now, now, now.

I developed a huge massage habit, started lots of exercise, lost weight, went into therapy, accepted finally that i hate gardening, found that i liked more and kinkier sex than i thought, added new elements to my job, tried to care more for elderly relatives. You don't have to do any of this. But i can tell you that my life feels authentically me for now, and that it will change again.

I'm really bad at putting myself first and after DC I got even worse. I am the Irish Mammy. I want to change though. I am unhappy with a lot of things.

I have a rubbish p/t job. I am looking for another one.
My DC are now at the age where they are independent and don't really want to hang out with me.
DH travels loads and I am alone a lot.
I am 2 stone overweight. I ease loneliness with chocolate and wine in front of the telly.
No family around, they live hundreds of mile away.
I've let myself go. Can't be bothered to take care of myself as don't go out a lot, am overweight and generally feel like a bag of potatoes.

So, basically I want to wake up on my 50th and not be a miserable cow, who looks like Monica Bellucci.

Exercise (specifically walking) was the starting point for me. Some friends and i set a walking goal for a trip away and started training for it by going on long walks! Immediate improved health, strength, energy and mood. Little effect on weight because i would say 'im walkibg 12 miles i can eat what i like' which isnt true! But i drank less because i wanted to be out walking, and joined a gym to get a stronger back when walking showed me mine was weak.

And by dedicating several hours every fortnight or so to walking, i proved to myself that others could cope without me.