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Original poster

What misconceptions do people have about you?

63 replies

JapaneseBirdPainting · 17/08/2019 19:18

I have been told in several different scenarios (work; home; school) that I am very 'laid back'.

I am actually a total stress head with diagnosed anxiety and depression. So it is bizarre to me that i apparently have this back persona.

I am pleased that I come across this way.... but it seems wierd.

OP posts:

Cherrysoup · 17/08/2019 21:31

A line manager some years ago was very rude to everyone and extremely opinionated. She told the new boss what a monster I was probably because I'd bollocked her for being such a bloody bitch on more than one occasion. She left so the boss became my line manager. He told someone, in quite a stunned fashion, that I was no monster and how amazing I was. Too late, I'd already resigned. He asked me to stay. I declined. 😆

In my new job, someone keeps telling me she loves me and I'm so amazing and a lovely person. I have no idea how she has formed this impression given I don't work with her!

PencilSkirt · 17/08/2019 21:31

In the past I occasionally heard second hand that some people found me intimidating; I found this literally laughable.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/08/2019 21:33

People always think I’m taller than I am, often by several inches, even when they’re looking at me, especially people who are the same (short) height as me. Weird.

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Skittlenommer · 17/08/2019 21:39

That I’m selfish because I don’t have or want children (they’re right)!!

Leapyearlover · 17/08/2019 21:46

People think my mum is very posh because of her accent when in fact her family are all working class but she went to grammar school and they made her change her accent. I talk like her which means people presume I am privately educated and Tory - am neither!

Babyroobs · 17/08/2019 21:52

I actually got asked this question in a recent interview !

Mucky1 · 17/08/2019 21:58

I get told I'm funny and fun to be around. But Iv also been told I'm weird (happy with that) I come across as hard but I'm a softy really. 🙈

SnaccidentsHappen · 17/08/2019 22:06

That I'm a bitch. Then when they get to know me say, you are actually really nice 😆. It's just my resting bitch face, I am very nice 👍🏼

coatlessinspokane · 17/08/2019 22:11

Exactly the same here Leapyear! I’ve been asked which private school I went to, told that I must be a Tory, and assumed to be sitting on a fortune! I live in social housing and come from a dump of a school.

It was rotten as a kid as I was teased mercilessly and considered to be stuck up, but now I quite like it. Besides I feel proud of my mum that she managed to get into a top school from her humble beginnings. It was founded by a suffragette and one of the first for girls. DS also has my posh accent even though he is also poor.

Hadenoughofitall441 · 17/08/2019 22:46

That I eat too much. I’m a bit on the large side but it’s not because of how much I eat or what I eat it’s because of the side affects from my medication.
People also don’t assume I have kids so when I have a conversation kids related people are like OMG you have kids you looks so young.

MaggieFS · 17/08/2019 23:07

That I'm confidant. I'm not, the first time I have to do anything like meet new people or go to a new place I worry about it for ages and have often avoided things/cancelled because I'm worried I'll make a tit out of myself for no logical reason.

But I am organised and a planner which is my coping mechanism, and once it's done once, the second time becomes a bit easier. So people assume I'm confidant.

RangerLady · 18/08/2019 00:26

That I'm a nice person and a good mother. Neither are true.

Graphista · 18/08/2019 02:15

My accent is...interesting due to being an army brat. So I've been mistaken to be from pretty much all parts of uk but I've also been thought to be Australian, Canadian, even South African... I'm scots!

I've been taken to be a snob based on my accent too but also my vocabulary. I'm widely read and reasonably well educated now but I'm very much from a working class background and have very left wing opinions, which surprises people in real life (on here I'm apparently a loony lefty who's paid by momentum to post!)

I've been assumed by different people to be either "scary" or a pushover! What it says that both are assumed I don't know! Like most people I'm probably somewhere in the middle.

That I'm confident - I'm actually painfully shy and always have been. I really struggled when first at school to talk at all to the point my first teacher thought I had a learning disability and called my parents in for a chat. They assured her it wasn't the case, I was asked to join the meeting and felt more comfortable talking with parents there and apparently shocked her with how articulate and engaged I could be (I don't actually remember the incident) throughout school I had to fake confidence for presentations etc but I'd have had a sleepless night prior and felt like throwing up throughout the presentation, on a couple of occasions I did actually have to immediately after go to the loo to throw up! Later at uni several other students commented on my confidence for such assignments, which my best uni friend would respond saying "yea but she's in the loo throwing up straight after" which was sometimes true. I hate talking to new people even call centres. Weirdly I'm also a singer as a hobby and I find performing less difficult.

That I'm strong - I'm crippled by ocd and agoraphobia but I'm very very good at hiding this as I've had a lot of practice. Plus they don't see me when I'm housebound obviously.

People don't realise I'm funny until they get to know me. That's because my humour tends to the very dry/sarcastic and people don't always like it so I'm cautious with people until I know them well enough.

managedmis · 18/08/2019 02:19

Stuck up
Arrogant
Unfriendly
That I'm naturally slim - it's not natural, if nature had anything to do with it I'd be 15 stones and miserable ( and diabetic)

managedmis · 18/08/2019 02:20

I think people also assume that I was the popular girl in high school whereas in reality I hung around with all the other misfits

managedmis · 18/08/2019 02:21

Someone made an off the cuff remark at work about me never cutting corners or doing anything NOT by the book: whereas in reality I'm always trying to figure out how to save time, make MY life easier etc etc.

FiveLittlePigs · 18/08/2019 05:57

That I'm calm, collected and confident.

I must be like a swan. Swimming serenely along while having self doubts, gut knotting anxiety, plucking up courage to do something and mentally kicking myself for saying, or not saying something.

funnyfeeling · 18/08/2019 06:02

That I'm aloof. I'm very shy and in terms of friendship actually very lonely.

Mileysmiley · 18/08/2019 06:03

I have a soft gentle face but it hides someone who is as hard as nails when they need to be.

Catmar · 18/08/2019 08:24

@funnyfeeling same here

Trufflegirl · 18/08/2019 11:02

That, having long hair and wearing make-up, I can't be a feminist. I look very stereotypically female, but I am an ardent feminist.

zsazsajuju · 18/08/2019 11:09

People think I’m poorer than they are - I live in a naice area but I’m a single parent and don’t bother with fancy cars and like camping holidays etc. I also like value for money and want to be sure to save for my dds future (and my own).

So I have lots of investments and probably could buy and sell most of them. But I keep that to myself.

Original poster

JapaneseBirdPainting · 18/08/2019 14:45

zsa I have a friend who has a modest house and a modest car.

She works part time. She is fairyl frugal.

She is a millionaire several times over. People would never ever know. She never throws it in anyone's face. She spends her money on family, extravagant gifts for friends (she treated me and DCs to a long weekend at centreparcs just because she wanted top upgrade and knew we could not afford it). If I were as rich as her I would do the same ... except maybe not work at all and perhaps go on more holidays!

OP posts:

Springfern · 18/08/2019 15:10

Alot of people comment on how strong and independent I am/seem, whereas inside I feel like a wailing, needy, depressed 2 year old. People tell me that I'm very 'cool', I feel very uncool!

People assume I'm straight (I'm bisexual) I think this is quite common for gay or bisexual women who have long hair, wear makeup etc

Springfern · 18/08/2019 15:12

Oh and people also assume I'm natuarally slim when I'm actually just an exercise addicted ex-anorexic!

Great thread, good to hear so many other people feel a bit lost inside. Reminds me of the saying 'don't compare your insides to other people's outsides'

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