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Original poster

Having children hurts!

26 replies

MelvinThePenguin · 17/08/2019 19:18

I’m not talking about the childbirth bit. Both of my childbirths were positive and the first completely painless (epidural), so I can offer plenty of reassurance about that.

Now my kids are 2 and 4, I am constantly aching and bruised to the point where my husband genuinely worries that people will question his character! I do suffer with anaemia, but I can’t be the only one in physical pain!

I am regularly:

  • kicked by my children in swimming pools (why do they insist on jumping off your thighs?)
  • head butted/ chin butted when a bedtime story becomes just that bit too exciting for the child sat on my lap
  • forced to lift my children awkwardly into cots, onto swings, and out from the tangled mound of hair and limbs that results when both of my girls want the same toy
  • clambering around on my hands and knees in chase of a toddler who got one leg into their PJs before being distracted by...well, anything is apparently more interesting than putting on her PJs.

Nobody warned me about this! When does it stop?!

OP posts:
HalyardHitch · 17/08/2019 19:19

Its definitely a physical exertion!!

NeedingAdvice29 · 17/08/2019 19:20

Ha, it doesn’t 😂

Original poster
MelvinThePenguin · 17/08/2019 19:26

@NeedingAdvice29 Noooo, you’re not helping! 😬

OP posts:

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GlassSuppers · 17/08/2019 19:52

So glad I'm not the only one!

And the elbows in the leg hurts too!!

Original poster
MelvinThePenguin · 17/08/2019 19:57

Oh the elbows! How could I forget the elbows?

That one has got to end at some point soon. I don’t see older children or adults pushing themselves up that awkwardly.

OP posts:
mistermagpie · 17/08/2019 20:05

Mine are two and four as well and I'm pregnant with a third - my back is fucked! I'm also covered in bruises, even the four year old wants picked up occasionally, it's hard work. My biceps look great though!

Dontgiveamonkeys1350 · 17/08/2019 20:15

Mine is now 15. He continues to lay on me and elbow me. Just hurts more now as he is bigger than me Grin

Original poster
MelvinThePenguin · 17/08/2019 20:26

This isn’t looking good! Maybe I’ll get a break in between them leaving home and potential grandchildren.

OP posts:
GlassSuppers · 17/08/2019 20:27

The elbows continue for FIFTEEN YEARS!! Good god these things should come with a warning!

TinyMystery · 17/08/2019 20:30

😂 I was talking to DH last night how DS used to kick him in bed when I was pregnant with him, and now he gets in our bed and kicks DH in the back/side/head whilst he has his morning milk. In the plus side he does usually roll over and cuddle him after!

Babdoc · 17/08/2019 20:37

My DD jabbed her finger right into my eye with no warning when she was a toddler. My eye swelled completely shut, the day I was due to drive 250 miles home from holiday. Another time she was crouched playing in the garden. Thinking she looked so sweet, I leaned over her to kiss the top of her head - just as she leapt violently upwards, and smashed the back of her very hard and bony head into my nose, causing a torrential bleed!
Motherhood is not for the faint hearted- we come through it battle scarred...!
And I should warn you, OP, that once they are teens and then adults, you swap simple physical injuries for much worse emotional and psychiatric worries. Prepare yourself!

Original poster
MelvinThePenguin · 17/08/2019 21:18

@Babdoc Yes, I’ve heard that. Eek! I’m rather stone hearted “tough love” oriented, so I’m foolishly optimistic that I’ll fare better at the emotional stuff. I learnt from the best how not to do it- my DM was a wreck while I was a moody but ultimately goody-two-shoes teenager.

OP posts:
FriedEggs1 · 17/08/2019 21:27

Haha! Oh dear! My dd accidentally punched my jaw during one of our many play fights and I couldn't open my mouth properly. I couldn't even open it wide enough to eat a banana 😂

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 17/08/2019 21:30

It hurts a lot more when they are teens and young adults, mark my words .

BillyAndTheSillies · 17/08/2019 21:50

My arms are currently covered in bruises from my 3.5 year old. I'm 32 weeks pregnant and he keeps running at my stomach full pelt, head first to cuddle my stomach but I have to protect myself with my arms.

Glad it's not just me that gets the elbows. Elbows in every possible point of my body. And why do they always step on toes???!?!!

IWouldPreferNotTo · 17/08/2019 21:56

My six month old child loves eyeballs and sticking fingerd up noses. He frequently need lifting in the air in sets of 10 repd.

He's adorable but bloody tiring. That's before he kicks you in the face

Original poster
MelvinThePenguin · 17/08/2019 21:57

@FriedEggs1 I’ve had a similar jaw incident! However, that was DH’s fault. He lifted mid-tantrum DD from my lap rather swiftly and straight into my jaw. It locked. He had been trying to help but I was pretty peeved, especially as I’d had surgery to resolve long-term jaw issues not long before!

@BillyAndTheSillies For me it always seems to be the tops of my feet. It’s very painful!

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 17/08/2019 21:59

DS2 has suddenly developed a taste for human flesh. He gets a manic glint in his eye, launches and strikes. He bites really hard too with his tiny sharp teeth Hmm

The problem is it is so hilarious that we can't even tell him off properly :o

Original poster
MelvinThePenguin · 17/08/2019 22:06

@BertieBotts I was once told that biting in young children is a sign of affection. At the time I thought it was a ridiculous excuse from the nursery for a frequent biter in DD1’s room. However, when DD2 came along she would bite my shoulder really, really hard while we were cuddling. Maybe there’s something in it...

OP posts:
RomaineCalm · 17/08/2019 22:11

I had 'baby knees' for years, I couldn't understand why I permanently had two, red, sore patches on my knees. No amount of moisturising or sudocrem could get rid of them.

Finally realised that it was all the kneeling down. Finally disappeared once DC got to 5/6yrs.

Poetryinaction · 17/08/2019 22:40

Mine are 5, 3 and 1 and my back is fucked. Diastasis recti did that.

Florencenotflo · 17/08/2019 22:52

Yes!! I thought it was just my Dd. She's only 3.5 but she's so rough and heavy handed. It's the elbows, knees, constant climbing up me. And her pointy little toes!!! Currently 38 weeks pregnant and she runs towards me with such force I've found myself turning to the side so she doesn't hit my bump full pelt!

Slightly worried about how rough she'll be with a newborn.

FriedEggs1 · 17/08/2019 23:08

@MelvinThePenguin Oh god! That sounds like a nightmare! Mine locked too and it took about a year before I could open it properly or even laugh normally!

ilovebagpuss · 17/08/2019 23:11

Haha this has made me chuckle I remember the agonies well. Although sorry to say but my DD12 is still as bad insisting that I wrestle with her in the waves on holiday. Jeez I was nearly drowned grated my knees on the sandy gravelly sea bed and smashed my hip on a stone! She actually dragged me up at one point realising The tackle was a step too far Grin

RJnomore1 · 17/08/2019 23:13

I’ve got an almost 15 year old who still loves a cuddle but is STILL all corners. I keep trying to feed her up to cushion th but it’s not working 😁

I just count myself lucky by this point to be both still alive with no serious injury and to be the parent of a teenager who is still affectionate.

Arnica is good for the bruises

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