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DS can’t cope with autistic son

2 replies

legolegolegolego · 17/08/2019 18:23

DS is struggling to cope with our autistic son. We have a 3 year old boy who’s not yet diagnosed but is on the way to being statemented and having a formal diagnosis. His diagnosis is currently Global Developmental Delay with a severe speech delay. DH struggles to cope with his behaviour (opening and shutting cupboard doors and climbing furniture) and shouts at him if he’s misbehaves. This results in ds screaming loudly and having a meltdown. This evening it came to a head where ds shouted that he can’t cope anymore and that we would have to put ds into care. He said it’s not like he would know where he was anyway. All this in front of our 7 year old. He stormed out of the room before shouting into DS(3) “Do you even know that I’m here?”. It’s not the first time he’s said that he can’t look after him anymore. He has openly regretted us having DS although he says he loves him. He calls me the strong one in our relationship. DS has made good progress in the last few months and is getting lots of support but it’s hard to deal with dh’s negativity and outbursts. We are entitled to free counciling with a Carers centre and hoping that will help. When we received DS’s GDD diagnosis DH plunged into a deep depression. DH has mental health issues going back a long time.

OP posts:
NoBaggyPants · 17/08/2019 18:26

Your husband needs to leave until he can sort out his attitude. It's horrible and it's damaging to your children, and mental health issues are not an excuse for it.

Fairylea · 17/08/2019 18:26

You can’t stay with your dh if he’s behaving like this. It’s abusive and will damage your ds. Sorry if that sounds blunt but you really can’t stay.

I have a ds aged 7 who has severe autism and learning disabilities and thankfully my dh is completely brilliant but of course there have been moments both of us have struggled! But to say the things your dh does sounds utterly beyond redemption.

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