Is it just me?

[Miracleon34thstreet]

Started a new job at beginning of the year as a senior manager and to say it’s a nightmare would be the euphemism of the century. Beginning to feel very personal.

I’ve come into a large team where there’s been no management for a number of years. A lot of big characters, and a lot of resistance to change. Reasonable management requests are met by grievance, after grievance (all of which have been thoroughly investigated and found no fault with me personally). It’s exhausting. Then there’s the long term sickness absences that are done in tandem (not to undermine genuine issues here; had them myself), but I feel there’s a lot of game playing and deliberate attempts to exclude, harass and drive me out.

I’ve been disappointed by lack of HR support as a manager.

Member of staff left recently and I’ve access to their email inbox for business continuity purposes. I’ve seen things in there I can’t unsee from staff still in employment; derogatory comments regarding me (all on work time, of course) and significant examples of fore mentioned game playing / excluding / trying to force managers hand.

The question is what do I do now? Better the devil you know? Knowledge is power? OR confront this ghastly culture?

I’m absolutely exhausted with it all. I don’t see why I should have to take it just as I’m the manager.

Bloody hell. That sounds awful. What is your management structure - do your line manager and above know this and support you? Thought that doesn't sound promising if HR are no help... In which case, I think I'd look for a new job, either now or after a year.

Thank you so much for your reply. Above me is the head of the organisation only; a great support to me. However, HR are so scared of 'the tribunal' they won't stamp out bad behaviours.

I've said surely if we follow our own policy that's competent and not a good enough excuse for me to constantly get a gun put to my head by staff.

I'm concerned for my career if I leave so soon what it will look like...

Quite honestly I’ve worked in a place like this and once the culture is toxic there is little that can be done

If senior management are committed to changing it and will support you then you need to accept being the bad guy and cracking on with it but if they’re not then I’d look elsewhere

I’d also involve HR re the emails from current staff

Thanks @ShirleyPhallus

As I've seen them in a now departed colleagues inbox I'm concerned I could be the one accused of hunting it down?if you see what I mean?

I really couldn’t say. I personally would feel comfortable in highlighting appropriate use for work emails because it’s entirely possible they have committed a sackable offence by sending those emails. It just depends on how far you want to go.

I’d probably try and address all the actual performance / work issues and let this one go, but highlight that you’ve got access to the inbox

You need proper support from HR who can advise you over the legal standings

FWIW, I managed out a very popular member of staff who was performing really badly and it was very stressful. Given my choice again I wish I’d left cos the backlash was very challenging

Do you regret performance managing them though? I do feel the balance between dealing with a problem / problems it brings you to be such an issue.
But I do wish to keep integrity... so hard

The issues needed addressing so I don’t regret raising it, and I had decent support from management and HR. But despite that, it was still a huge challenge. Knowing you’ll be slagged off in the pub all the time without being able to defend yourself or say a word is really hard.

I wish I’d known how tough it would be on me. It was obviously no fun to be the person being managed but I wish I’d known how much it would take it’s toll on me.

Given all the other issues you’ve laid out and for the fact you don’t seem to have good HR support, I think I’d be looking for a role elsewhere. Work isn’t meant to be stressful, you should be enjoying it

I think the head of the organisation needs to know. I'd show them the emails. This doesn't reflect badly on you, though I can understand you may feel your role is untenable.

Personal attacks hurt and it can be difficult not to have your confidence and self esteem knocked. If you left the place you'd probably never see or hear from any of this dysfunctional bunch again if that's any consolation.

Thank you - these are both really helpful.

And yes, they do hurt. A lot. I'm sick of having to swallow it because of my role. The previous manager was off sick with stress for many years and retired early; unfortunately it appears I've come into a culture of nonsense and toxicity.

I think I will speak to MD on Monday - again. And suggest I need solid HR support. Everything I look to manage something someone raises a grievance and HR allows it to hijack the process. I.e. colleagues working from home on Monday and Friday ...! It's a joke when I write it down

Sounds like you have a crap HR department. I work in HR and I would absolutely support a manager to deal with bad behaviour despite the risks of grievance/tribunal.. if you do things fairly you'll be able to defend any tribunal. I'd never let the fear of tribunal prevent a manager taking action (so long as I could advise on the action) as then you've let the other person manipulate the situation. Some of my best managers have multiple grievances thrown at them not because they've done anything wrong but because they won't tolerate poor behvaiour or performance or be cowed in the face of the grievance-throwers.

That's not what HR is about sorry you seem to have had a bad experience.

@CloudsCanLookLikeSheep thank you so much for pointing out it is sometimes the good managers who get the grievances for trying to ... do their job and performance manage.

As experienced HR, what would you do regarding me seeing emails in a now departed colleague inbox from colleagues still in post?

Also, I have completed a staffing review and interviewing for an internal promoted post. A member of staff raised a grievance against me two days before the interview thereby hijacking the whole process and not allowing me to proceed - so a gun was put to me head. I was very angry at HR allowing staff to effectively do that - do you have an opinion on that?

I still haven't been able to interview that member of staff as that grievance has only just concluded and found me do have done no wrong......

Really appreciate your thoughts