No one on MN can tell you if you are pregnant.

[PancakeAndKeith]

If you had unprotected sex or a contraceptive failure then you might be.
Peeing on a stick will give you an answer, and frankly you having the stick in your hand can see if there is a line better than anyone here.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

I can. And I have an impressive 50% success rate.

Yep. And if you can’t see a second line in real life with your own eyes it won’t be more clear on a photo taken on your phone and posted on the internet...

Hahahahahaha!

I do think some people mix up mumsnet and netmums. If you want lots of ‘congrats hun’ you need to be on the other one 😉

The same goes for guessing the sex.

Sometimes I do gender too.

Have you had sex?

Then yes, you could be.

And no, we don't know whether it's a boy or a girl. That's what scans are about.

There is no need to bleach your house

And no, we don't know whether it's a boy or a girl. That's what scans are about.

Oh god yes. What’s this fucking nub business? Why would anyone on a forum care what flavour you’re cooking?!

Ugh “nun theory!” Fuck off.

Pay for a private gender scan from 16 weeks.

Or wait til your 20 week scan like most people do.

Nub, not nun 😂

Totally agree, but by God don’t ever suggest this stuff on a “Line eyes needed!” thread or you’ll be savaged
Usually by a bunch of posters squealing Congratulations!!! when it’s plainly negative

What can you expect from people who are stupid and cruel enough to give false hope to someone desperate to be pregnant. Fucking hate them

This also brings to mind the advert for the digital tests were a gormless couple sit on the bathroom floor puzzling over a pee stick because they can’t understand the result. When I was ttc and feeling a bit chippy I used to shout at the tv “you’re clearly too bloody stupid to read a positive test (spoiler, she was pregnant after all ), you’re too bloody stupid to safely bring up a baby”.

AnneLovesGilbert reminds me of this

I'll just leave this here.

@PancakeAndKeith dh has been for the snip twice now and I just finished my period yesterday, but I felt like a bit nauseous today, do you think I could be pregnant? i suspect hangover myself but better safe than sorry ya know

I love a baby I do

I can tell anyone if they're pregnant over the internet. Just pee on your phone for me

does anyone really want to see someone elses piss on a stick, i dont want to look at my own piss tbh!

@ you need to pee on your keyboard and press enter
That's really made me laugh.

I’m a lesbian who hasn’t had sex with a male for over 20 years, but I feel a bit sick and my abdomen is definitely bigger than it used to be. Could I be pregnant?

While I mostly agree, please remember that there will be some woman who have had trouble conceiving, or trying after a loss (I was one of them). You are so desperate for a bfp, I understand some of the 'is this a line' posts.

Oh I understand the ‘desperate to conceive’ people. I had three rounds of ivf, I was one of those women.

Oh yes. Agreed op!

If you are desperate to conceive the last thing you need are a bunch of internet strangers telling you you are when you clearly aren't.

I love a line eyes thread but nearly all of them
are posted by either:

• someone who has cracked a test open and left it sitting around for hours, it produces a second line, everyone immediately says an evap line can't have colour (it can) and the OP must be pregnant. When OP is subsequently revealed not to be pregnant it is suggested to her that she has had a chemical pregnancy- an excellent way to fuck someone's head up.

Or

• someone who 'just feels pregnant', is SO sick and tired all the time, had some weird bleeding last week but it was super light and only lasted for 3 days so couldn't have been their period but tests are BFN but they know they are pregnant. That wasn't implantation bleeding, it was a light period, even if you've never had a light period before this time you did. If your period is past due and you're getting negative tests you are not pregnant. Someone will swoop in with a story about how their pregnancy didn't show up on a test for 8 weeks, giving the OP false hope. The tests are more than 99.9% accurate on the day of your period, trust them.

I have been that person, I've posted those threads, I wasn't pregnant. When I did get my positive test I knew straight away - didn't need to post an am I pregnant thread.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Fantastic. 🤣
I've been waiting for this with every new breathless deluded and not fucking pregnant post.

Tbf it's the same at the other end of the 'process' .... Threads like "I'm 40+3, and I'm getting period-like pains. Could this be labour?"