Depression and eating disorder, feel like shit

[plantwhisperer]

Struggling really badly today with my ED (anorexia), I've lost weight recently and I can see my bones again now, feel really weak and my depression has gotten worse. I was removed from my group CBT recently as the therapists who ran the group felt I was too unwell to participate and rushed a referral to the eating disorder team who came back this week (without even speaking to or meeting me) to say they can't take me on as I don't meet the thresholds for urgent care.

I have no therapy now and no one to talk to. My GP says my BMI has to be 14 before I can be referred to the adult ED team. It's currently 16.

I can't afford private therapy, I don't have a job and my boyfriend is currently supporting me though it's hard for him of course too which I feel awful about.

Didn’t want to read and run, I’m so sorry to hear about everything that happened OP. Sending hugs

BMI of 14 sounds extremely drastic to wait for. My daughter was referred to EDconnect services at 16.

The fact that you recognise your condition worsening is actually a positive - you're not denying your illness You've done an amazing thing posting here

I don’t have any real practical advice but one of my students had anorexia and she was such a lovely girl. She didn’t have such good self awareness as you op and I can see that only as a positive thing , same for any issues people have. Knowing ourselves is very hard.

I just wanted to wish you well and bump your post.

I'm really sorry you're struggling, would funds permit you to find a recovery coach?

Hi everyone, thanks for the replies!

I've just woken up and had some breakfast👍🏻

@Lostthepoint Thank you 

@ThanksMateThanksMate it's ridiculous isn't it! It's like they want you to die before they have to treat you I've been diagnosed since I was 12 and was very ill 12-14 but somewhat recovered for a while and now it's come back at 20

I'll have a look at seeing a new GP, I've spoken to 3 so far though at my surgery and all have said the same. It's bmi of 14 for a referral in my area.

Thank you so much, I hope your daughter is much better now?

@Adversecamber22 Thank you so much, I think because I've had it for a while (8 years) I'm pretty good at recognising now when I'm struggling, I certainly wasn't as self aware years ago though! It's horrible illness.

@Goawayquickly Unfortunately not

It’s disgraceful that treatment is denied because of a random number on a scale, awful.

I expect you’ve heard of Tabitha Farrar but just in case you might find some comfort and ideas in her videos to help you through.

Do you live with parents? Your BMI is terribly low and you’ll know that lack of adequate nutrition is making your depression spiral.

Would any family help with the cost of a coach? Your poor heart and other organs will be under a lot of strain. You need lots of rest and minimal activity.

You also know that food is your medicine, it’s frightening and stressful for you, I hope you find someone to support you soon.