Let my friend down - what can I do?

[JellyCatFish]

Names changed so this isn't too outing.

A good friend of mine, Laura, invited me and one of her other friends, Gemma, (who I've met a few times before) out for the day with the kids.

We were chatting about allsorts and Laura went off somewhere with her dc. While she was gone, me and Gemma were chatting and the topic changed to Laura's husband. To cut a long story short, this man is a bit (lot) of an arse and has treated Laura badly in the past. Gemma and I were discussing that we didn't trust him, and that Laura could do so much better because she's lovely and the complete opposite of him. He works away a lot and Gemma speculated that he might be cheating and I said 'well it wouldn't be the first time would it?' - assuming that Laura had already told her as they're good friends. She had no idea and now I've betrayed Laura by opening my big mouth.

I feel awful and now I'm worried that Gemma will mention it to Laura and she'll be upset with me. What can I do to make this right if anything?

You can only cough up, explain how you let your guard down and you are sorry.

She'll likely to be upset at you a) for gossiping like that with someone you didn't know well b) betraying her trust.
Hopefully the fact that you tell her face to face and ASAP will mean something.

Can you talk to Gemma and explain? If she's a decent person, she won't want to upset Laura anymore than you do, and will hopefully promise to not mention it.

Did you ask Gemma not to say anything? I'm guessing you don't trust her if she thinks you will.

I think she has every right to be fucked off with you if she finds out. You were gossiping about her behind her back and betrayed a huge confidence

For many people this would be a friendship ender.

Wow. You and Gemma had a right little bitchfest behind her back. You didn’t just let her down by letting slip about her husband’s affair. You let her down by having the whole conversation!

Joxer is 100% right - the whole conversation was bitchy!

How Much derail did you go into op? This is the sort of thing that you can pull back. You say well I don't know but I'm guessing like you, probably he hasn't, snd leave it there.

Did you proceed to tell her all about It?

It was bitchy, I hold my hands up. But Laura knows how I feel about her husband, and I've had similar conversations with Laura's mum (instigated by her mum). It's only because she deserves so much better.

No, I didn't go into detail. Gemma said she wouldn't trust him as far as she could throw him and I agreed. Then we were generally chatting about him and how awful he is.

I suspect Gemma won't say a word.

I have a friend with a similarly awful husband. It's a truth universally acknowledged but rarely spoken aloud among her friends. No one says outright how awful he is for fear of alienating Laura, she depends heavily on her friends for emotional support. A revelation like that would simply be filed in the "yet another reason James is a wanker" folder in our brains.