If someone offered to get you pregnant would you do it?

[WolfInSlutsClothing]

This is completely retorical, but if you were single and wanted a baby, and a man said he'd get you pregnant but would never see you again after and would want nothing to do with the baby, would you do it?

It's not completely random, I saw something sort of like this on TV earlier, just got me thinking. I probably would, but then I don't really know.

No chance! I’d want my child to have 2 parents who love and care for them.

But what if you were getting close to an age where you would no longer be able to have them? I didn't explain myself very well, but that's sort of what I meant. If you really wanted them and had just never met anyone to have a child with

In a way it's sort of similar to a sperm bank I suppose, which I probably wouldn't do, but understand why people do.

I'd rather do sperm bank.. there's no guarantee that said man wouldn't come back in a few years wanting contact and you'd have to introduce him to your child. It's less messy using a sperm bank...
If I'm brutally honest if I was in that situation and didn't want to use a sperm bank, I'd rather go out and meet a random guy (who was of course tall, dark and handsome ;] ) as there wouldn't be any questions from him after.

My friend has done it.
She is now pregnant with their second.
It was all done through a clinic, with legal contract and no actual intercourse.

Mum is very happy. She's a great mother. Child is thriving, she has a huge extended family and is not short of love at all. How many babies are conceived in a couple that doesn't last and the child never sees father again? Too many to judge this mum.

Not sure if I could do it, but I can see why some would.

I should add, my friend and her donor are friends, they were not introduced to each other by the clinic.
And my hesitation about my own ability to do it, is because I havent been in the position you describe. However my mothering instinct was strong from a young age, and so if time was running out I may well consider it.

Depends who was doing the impregnating surely?

Joking aside, yes I think I would, but that's very difficult to say given I have a wonderful, supportive DH.
If here and now I was a single parent maybe I would be more cautious about it all.

Having now had a child, I would hesitate to do it solo.

That said, if I was determined to proceed as a single parent, a friend’s sperm would be my first choice, but only if all the proper legal paperwork for sperm donation were completed.

Through a clinic with STI and genetic tests seems far more sensible. Plus from a child's perspective there will probably come a time they want to know their fathers background. Some randomer off the internet? No way! Especially as you run the risk of siblings inadvertently entering sexual relationships as adults if the 'donor' offers his services in one local area.

There are actually websites that set up matches, I know because I briefly considered it.....bio clock ticking and wanted another child.

I decided against it for many reasons.

Those sites are creepy, no regulation at all meaning all kinds of weird men out there offering. Are the ones who want natural insemination just pervs wanting a free shag? Was the man who had fathered loads of kids some kind of weirdo.

There are also sites which set up a co-parenting arrangement ie people who both want kids but no intention of a relationship.

I wanted to have a child as a single parent. A couple of different friends did offer to be the donor. I could have saved myself a heap of money and hassle avoiding fertility treatment but I decided that it was best for everyone if I went via a clinic/sperm bank and did it that way.

Safely through a sperm bank
or maybe if a close/childhood friend offered...though they'd probably want to coparent or have an 'uncle' type relationship rather than never see you again?

Interesting about the websites, I didn't know they were a thing.

I think I'd almost rather it be a stranger than a close friend, i feel like that would make your friendship a bit weird after, you having their child and them just.. not having anything to do with it. I know that's the point but still awkward

Nope. But I know someone who has done something similar. Sometimes I think the desire for a baby makes people's common sense go on holiday. 🤷🏻‍♀️

A lot safer through a sperm bank. Not against the idea of single people having a family but to get knocked up by any one seems dangerous on many levels. Plus you don't just 'get pregnant' like that - it could take a few attempts and if you're regularly having sex with someone they're not really a stranger anymore

Not to mention the potential for Sti's and so on.

RunsForGummyBears

Well it's natural instinct for a lot of people isn't it? I'm greatful not to be in the position to have to do something like this, but I completely understand why someone would. I certainly wouldn't like to raise a child alone, but I'm sure I would if I had to.

Ugh! My friend joined PoF with this in mind, she now has a 7yo with all manner of syndromes Asperger's, ADHD, ODD, plus zero empathy, dyslexia, dyscalcula - and no recourse to 50% of his genetic history. Risky business.

Would it involve actual sex? If so, then I’m in 😆

The fact that I haven’t had sex for 5 years surely trumps the fact that I’m well and truly past the menopause with no desire to add to my brood, right??

Kidding aside, I wouldn’t. Unless there is a contract of sorts with regards to rights and custody it is a potential recipe for disaster. Spermbank would be the way to go imo.

I’d rather be dead than pregnant so that’s a definite no.

I wouldn't dream of doing this, but I could see why someone else might. If you're sure you want to raise the child alone and you're well set up/stable then I see no reason not to. Two parents is, of course, ideal, but there are plenty of people who plan to raise a child together and then it goes pear shaped and one buggers off.

Only if this"hypothetical question"had a gold-plated guarantee the guy would stay the hell away..&he'd have to be screened&have desirable traits etc😉

CheeseChipsMayo

Oh my god how did I not notice that mistake 😂 extreme tiredness is and was a factor, but I'm also clearly a bit of an egit!

Yes

I know of someone who has 'donated' twice to a lesbian couple. They used the turkey baster method - I'm still amazed it worked! He has his own kids with his wife so has no wish to get involved with his donor offspring, but I do think it's weird to know you're someone's biological dad but keep your distance. Also, they've all been very lucky in having that trust between them, it could have so easily gone wrong.