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Original poster

Does anyone else enjoy working full time

33 replies

Roo2012 · 14/08/2019 22:06

Married a long time, 2 children at primary school. I worked part time but went full time in December 2018. I have a fulfilling job which I love, working with great people and I really enjoy it. I sometimes feel guilty for enjoying my work.

I love my children. But I can't afford not to work and it feels good to be in a job I'm enjoying and feeling appreciated in.

The thing is I worry I should feel bad for working full time. On the one hand I feel good that I'm setting an example to my kids that women work and contribute blah blah blah. On the other hand I feel bad that my kids will only spend 2 of the 6.5 weeks holidays with me. It's not like I've kept them in the cupboard under the stairs, they've done playscheme, their Dad has had days off and they've been with my family.

I guess it would just be reassuring to know that I'm not alone in quite liking my full time working routine. And if anyone can tell me I'm not messing up my kids that would be great!

OP posts:

JoanLewis · 14/08/2019 22:20

Me! I work full time. Always have done and have done so because I wanted to, because I love my job and because I worked bloody hard to get where I am (many, many years of qualifications and earning a pittance). DCs have never known any different. No guilt here. They are loved, well cared for and still get a lot of my time. DH is a PT SAHD, so that helps a lot. But even if he wasn't, I'd still work FT.

So hell no to feeling guilty about working FT and enjoying it. I can guarantee you hardly a single father on this planet feels guilty for working FT, so why should you?

Original poster

Roo2012 · 14/08/2019 22:40

Thank you Joanlewis just hearing that from one person helps tremendously. So pleased you love your job and are happy with what you're doing.

OP posts:

Hmmmbop · 14/08/2019 22:50

I do. Currently on mat leave and only considered part time because I felt I "should". I like my job, I'm good at it and I think I would do a bad job if I were part time. We don't need me to work full time, it's a choice.

I feel bad for feeling this way, but I'd be a shit sahp, I'm not motivated by it, there'd be frustrated kids, too much screen time and little activity. I'd be depressed, which wouldn't be good for any of us. Being at work helps me enjoy the time I am with the kids.

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Families

Setting3 · 14/08/2019 22:55

I want to know what the jobs are that people do and really enjoy so much! Sorry for derailing...

Hmmmbop · 14/08/2019 22:56

setting I'm a social worker

Original poster

Roo2012 · 14/08/2019 22:57

It's such a difficult balance and I'm sure what works for one family won't automatically work for another. So are you going to stay full time or go part time? I feel like for me, I've been better at working and better parenting when I'm at home, since I'm full time. But I do worry my eldest in particular isn't ok with it (although when asked to write about someone she admires she wrote about me and my job, so maybe she's as confused as me).

OP posts:

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/08/2019 22:58

I’ve only loved it since becoming self employed and having the flexibility to work when I want. So I’m doing 40+ hours a week but they’re spread over 7 days and fitted into school hours and then evenings when DC are in bed. There are still times I need to work when they’re around, but I’m still here in the house and I can take a break if they need me. And there are times when I can’t arrange things to allow me to attend an assembly or whatever but on the whole I feel like I’m there for them. Before that, when working full time it was retail and I hated it.

Original poster

Roo2012 · 14/08/2019 23:09

Joxer sounds like you've got the balance eight for you and your family. I have flexi so can work longer some days than others and work from home but deep down I always worry I'm not around enough for my kids.

OP posts:

Cabezona · 14/08/2019 23:13

I have always worked full time and only wondered if I was doing the right thing when DC were teeny tiny.

I always look at it that we are showing the next generation all the possibilities that lay before them and hopefully being a good role model for work ethic and living well because of that ethic.

The work isn't always great but the feeling of doing it is.

If anyone told me I shouldn't be doing it or my children are failing because of it I would judge them more than they could ever judge me.

You do what suits you and your family. Happy mums make happy children x

AdoraBell · 14/08/2019 23:15

I would. Working 16 hours then overtime. I’ve told the boss that I will do as many extra hours as needed to fill gaps. It’s not even about the pay.

hooleyohwoo · 14/08/2019 23:25

I wouldn't say I enjoy it. But I've been full-time back at work since my dd was 10 months. Her abusive father had long gone by that point. So I didn't really have a choice. However, she is in an excellent childcare setting, and she is so confident, and so happy there, I feel sometimes that they are basically raising her.

Currently on the summer hols (secondary teacher) and much as I am loving our time together, I feel more exhausted than when I am teaching five lessons a day. It's a different sort of tired.

Blankiefan · 15/08/2019 06:49

I do. It's be a struggle to do my job part time and I enjoy it.

I have taken two weeks of Parental Leave this summer tho and it has been a revelation. It's made a huge impact on DD's summer and having discussed it with loads of people, not that many are aware of this statutory entitlement. Have you thought about using some?

Original poster

Roo2012 · 15/08/2019 06:53

I was looking in to parental leave for next summer yes. Although I'm not sure unpaid leave is affordable for me.

OP posts:

Loopytiles · 15/08/2019 06:58

I find it hard with respect to the DC, and do often feel guilty (DH never does!)

Find work much, much better now am FT again, largely due to experiencing subtle discrimination and being stuck on the “mummy track” when was PT. Given crap projects, a FT workload, no cover on non working day(s), meh performance reviews over not doing enough “extras” like additional projects. Few jobs were open to me on 4 days a week, so applied for FT ones and got a much better role.

I also like the FT pay

lovelookslikethis · 15/08/2019 07:02

Its really exhausting actually working full time is the honest answer.
Dreadful in the early days when I battled every day to stay awake in the afternoon, worse now dc are older and make me feel awful in the holidays for not being around.
I am cutting back my hours not increasing them. Dc are growing up so fast.

ShippingNews · 15/08/2019 07:04

I'm a nurse and I've always worked full time apart from when I had the children for 9 months each. I've had to work, because of the finances, but I also loved it. I always felt that I was more connected to my job than people who did a couple of days a week. They always seemed to be playing catch-up.

My children are adults now, and they have both told me that I've been a good role model to them, as a mother who was dedicated to her job but who was also a good mum.

Loopytiles · 15/08/2019 07:08

That’s lovely, shippingnews.

StealthPolarBear · 15/08/2019 07:12

Me! Lots of stress at the moment but little of it actually related to my actual work

Needallthesleep · 15/08/2019 07:16

I only have a 19 month old but I love working full time. I enjoy my job, and I know my DD loves nursery and is happy there.

My mum was a SAHM, really resented it, and we knew she resented it. I wouldn’t wish that on my children.

Laura221 · 15/08/2019 07:17

I work part time (and do a lot of overtime)but due to our circumstances I can't work full time for a couple of years, but trust me if I could I would I love the fulfilment my job gives me. I enjoy trying to climb the ladder. The only time I get wobbles about returning full time is over the 6 weeks holiday but honestly when you think of that amount of time it's so small compared to the rest of the year. My kids are similar to yours and do kids clubs and our parents help out and have a wonderful summer even though I'm only around for 2 days in the week. My kids have never said they are unhappy with our situation and have a brilliant drive to find a career they love which I hope I have helped create. ( I'm not saying kids with stay at home parents dont though). The only thing I'm now thinking about is trying to carve out an evening a week where my girls can take it in turns to have a friend over a week as that seems to be the only thing we struggle to fit in.

Nicpem1982 · 15/08/2019 07:18

I've recently gone back full time and I love it. I've gone from a pt role in an awful stressful situation to a full time job I love.

Dd knows that she is loved and cared for and generally happier all around.

It helps that my job is flexible and will let me leave early or arrive late to accommodate school events and her hobby stuff I've also got lots of annual leave so that's how I balance

pennypineapple · 15/08/2019 07:18

I wouldn't say I enjoy it but I do find it easier, when I was part-time I was always on the back foot and struggling to keep up with what was going on at work.

As for the guilt, remember there won't be any fathers out there feeling guilty for being full-time! Meanwhile you have mothers feeling guilty for being SAHMs, mothers feeling guilty for being part-time and mothers feeling guilty for being full-time.

DrDreReturns · 15/08/2019 07:19

Nope. I've worked full time for twenty years and I've had enough of it! I really want to go to three days a week but it won't be feasible for another decade. I love my job I just want more free time.

HelenaJustina · 15/08/2019 07:20

I work full time (37.5 hrs/wk) but during term time only. I probably do 5hrs a week during school holidays. For me it’s the best of both worlds, busy and satisfying for weeks at a time and then a short break to catch my breath (and tidy my house) before I plunge in again.

namby · 15/08/2019 07:21

I've worked full time since before they were in school. I love my job, I get six weeks off a year, weekends, and am home by 5.30, I also do school drop off so we have breakfast together. I take 2 weeks at Christmas, 1 at Easter and summer, Oct, May and Feb half term (flexi allows me to flesh out leave). Summer is the time they catch up with family we've moved away from, and DH takes a big chunk of leave. I work very flexibly and the job I've just started allows me to work home up to 80% of the time...but I will probably only do 40%, 4 days a week at home is too much for me, but I love working from home a bit so I don't feel out of the house all week.

Staying in work has certainly paid off for me to get to a senior enough position to work very flexibly. Never understood the appeal of term time jobs, I'd go nuts with all that leave at summer.

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