Help with my son (18)

[JungStyx]

My son is 18almost 19. I'm a single mum and have been since son was about 1 and son hasn't seen him since then (his dad went to prison and ss were involved when he was released and he wasn't allowed to see son for some outing reasons). I've always put son first.

He started drinking when he was 16/17 (I didn't give him permission). And he drinks every night and gets drunk and violent (he assaulted a police officer twice). His girlfriend is pregnant and has said if he doesn't get his life sorted she won't let him see baby and will dump him.

Help!

Unfortunately the father's input is more important than we think. If he's a bad'un, it very often comes out in the child, especially if it's a boy. I know- been there, done that! IDK what you can do about this OP, unless your DS wants to change. Maybe he's too young. As far as the gf is concerned, can you talk to her, express support and understanding, and maybe keep contact with her and the baby?

No there isn't as he comes home and sleeps on the sofa and he gets up midday and gets ready and goes out again.

When he was younger we used to tell him his dad had to go away and that was that but then when he got older (12/13 maybe) his older cousin told him about his dad and he began asking questions.

I will still be seeing her and baby but she has said baby won't be allowed anywhere near him.

He said he wanted to be a lawyer before when he was still at school but now he doesn't have any plans or anything.

I tried to speak to him before he went but he just said he has to go and left.

Where does he get the money to buy alcohol?

How does he afford his habit?

Could you find your local AA group and see if they could send someone to talk to him?

Up until about a month ago he was taking my money until I caught him.

People at the pub by him drinks now I guess.

I find it hard to believe that people in pubs are buying him drinks...

Some are his friends.

If not then I don't know where he is getting the money from.

I just feel like I've messed up bringing him up somehow. 😢😢

No he hasn't ever had therapy.

I feel like I've spoilt him as well like letting him do what he wants. As I let him leave school in year 11 and not do sixth form or college (he didn't like school and failed his gcses). And I didn't make him attend work so he got sacked.

No I haven't. I blame myself because I didn't force him I just Let him so what he wanted.

So now he thinks he can do what he likes (going to the pub everyday etc).

He is getting money from somewhere. I can't believe his friends/people in the pub fund his drinking all day, every day. It just isn't feasible.

He drinks goes out at 8pm and comes home about 1ish I think

I'm not sure where else he gets the money from unless it's a family member and they aren't saying