Power of attorney advice please

[applerock]

My Dad organised for me to be his power of attorney a few months ago. He has now lost capacity and I have had to make difficult decisions for him. He is still married though separated for 4 years. Now his wife wants to make decisions for him and be involved even though he doesn't want her to. She said she has a legal right to be involved.

Is this right? I'm really worried now. Can a spouse over ride a power of attorney?

No she cant over ride it - but there are two POAs - Financial and Health - which POA do you hold., or do you hold both?

I do hold both

www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

They are a legal document, she cant over ride it.

But, unless he's made a fresh will, she is still his legal wife and likely to inherit, unless he's taken steps to prevent this.

I suppose , like a lot of things, case by case, are they still good friends? were they married a long time? she knows him well, so involving her to a certain level out of courtesy might be nice, eg whether he might like a particular care home, does it suit his needs … but medically and financially, that’s your call.

There is a good reason they live separately. They are not on good terms. He doesn't want her involved which is why he made me his power of attorney and changed his will.

She insists that because they are still married she has legal rights. It's a worry I could do without at the moment.

Your poa trumps her rights
Mum made my daughter poa which trumped my rights as sole benefactor
It’s ok, it was all amicable
I did a lot as I always had done so as to not burden my daughter but when mum died I couldn’t do anything official my daughter had to do it all

Your dad did the right thing
All you need to do now is activate / register it

His last will stands

It's been active since it was registered in April, I've had to sort a lot of things out on his behalf. I've been so worried trying to protect my Dad from her. I hope legally she doesn't have a right to know where he is.

As financial POA you ned to keep good records of what you are spending etc as that can be looked into. But if everything is in good order then I don't think she has any rights. If they are separated but still married do they have any joint assets/income?

They have 1 joint account that is a small amount of savings but everything else in separate. All of my Dads money is being spent on care fees!

You are acting as if you are him, so I am assuming you are doing as he would have if he had capacity.

It's not nice being threatened with a solicitor by your own Mom. I just need reassurance that she can't over power the power of attorney. Apparently the legal department at social services are looking into it.

No if she's not named on the POA she has no say .

POA has absolute legal right, wife/next of kin/family all mean zilch. Well done to your dad for being on the ball with his wishes.

Bit poor that social services don’t already know this - POA isn’t exactly rare!

Good luck OP

PPs are right, the PoA overrides any other relationship. Your dad's got everything screwed down. But in any event just being the spouse doesn't give any automatic right to run the other spouse's affairs if they develop lack of capacity*. With no capacity and no PoA in place, the court of protection would appoint a guardian.
So let his wife threaten solicitors all she likes. You can, with confidence, laugh at her. Just like the solicitor will (inside, at least!).

*With the exception of assets held in joint names, eg a joint bank account, so the small savings account she can access. However that doesn't mean she can claim it's all hers whilever your dad's alive. As PoA it might be an idea to take out half on your dad's behalf, and tell her the rest is hers. Keep scrupulous records in case she challenges you just to be awkward. She won't win, but you'll have the evidence to back you up. (And with the evidence, the same solicitor will probably also advise her not to proceed.) If half the money is your dad's, and if it gets really tight on assets to pay the care home fees that money would be counted as his. So you can't take the easy way out and just let her have it. Equally, if it's still there when your dad does die (sorry, I know that sounds insensitive) his half falls to you as beneficiary. So then it would be up to you whether you bothered to argue with her.

To make it as simple as possible, if you can afford it, I'd think about giving her her half, and then giving her your dad's half paid for by you, without telling her that's where it's come from (records again) and keeping his half in his name. It costs you but gets her out of the picture without any longer term consequences.

You hold the POA, not her, if you are concerned she may want to find out which carehome he is in (against his wishes and not in his best interests for her to know) then let the carehome manager and adult social services safeguarding team know so that she cannot visit, be given any information etc. Her solicitor should know the legal situation.

Thank you everyone, you have eased my mind.