How to get your children to sleep at night?

[Staceylouise22]

Hello, im in desperate need of getting my children to sleep at night. Ive tried pillow sprays, night lights, body sprays with lavender, books, long baths with bedtime bath in it. Nothing works! Ive been told about melatonin however my gp won't prescribe it and i cannot buy it from the pharmacy. Is there anything else i can do?
My eldest is 5yrs and my youngest is 14 months

do you have a clear night routine OP? i find that helps my dc sleep. we have one as follows:

bath or shower
brush teeth
have a story whilst i brush their hair (helps make them sleepy i find)
tuck in
go to sleep

all the best x

As above clear routine; no screens or stimulating activities an hour before bed time. Relaxing time.
Stagger the bed time as they probably bounce off each other at niggtn

Yes they have a good routine, my son tends not to be asleep by the time my daughter goes to bed which makes it difficult, he then keeps her awake via getting in her cot with her or messing about, im stuck as to know what to do, as he is still in nursery until September, he goes to nursery from 9-3:30 he comes home has a snack i start tea by half 4 tea is on the table by 5. They then have a play until 6:30 then its bath, brush teeth, get dryed and dressed he's in bed by 7 has a few books i leave the room by half 7 then by 9 o'clock its my daughters bedtime. X

Do they share a room?

The 5 year old goes to bed at 9? This seems far too late to me. My 6 year old is in bed at 7. Any later and she's overtired and messes about and won't sleep. They need 12 hours at that age don't they?

I would try moving them closer together if not the same time. Could you try that?

could you try altering your routine so dinner is at 5:30, he plays up until then, after tea he has a bath (around 6 ish), watches a relaxing tv show (eg 64 zoo lane) with some warm milk (to make him sleepy), go upstairs, brush teeth, have a story and then lights out at 7. that way, by putting him to bed earlier, it gives him longer to settle down etc and fall asleep before his sister comes upstairs x

Yes they have a good routine, my son tends not to be asleep by the time my daughter goes to bed which makes it difficult, he then keeps her awake via getting in her cot with her or messing about

It's discipline you are missing. What the fuck is your 5 year old doing climbing in the babies cot

whoops i misread that, i would put your 5 year old to bed at 7;30 following the routine above, but altering the times, and your youngest to bed at 7 following the routine above as i wrote it

They share a room, the problem is my son definitely has behaviour problems that i cant get to the bottom of ive tried everything he climbs into her cot because he can and thats what he says to me. Their routine is good it is kept up and very rarely allowed up any later so i dont know whats going wrong it is very difficult as i am a lone parent.

Honestly, I think I would try to put them down at the same time. Maybe a bit later for the eldest and earlier for the youngest to start with. Bath, teeth, bed, story, then sit in with them ignoring them whilst playing music and reading something on my phone.

Simple reprimands "this is your bed, it's time to go to sleep now" (pick up out of cot, put into bed)

Do you think he's jealous of the time the youngest has with you? Could that be why he's climbing into the cot? Because the baby gets extra time with mum.

Dinner done, Tablets and TV off, we don’t bath every night as that’s bad for the bills (and the environment) usually 2-3 times a week only.

Then it’s changed for bed, a quiet play time together as a family, 15 mins story time and the good dream spell from Greys Anatomy (tv show).

Ours sleep very well indeed!

Put your wee one back into your room until you get the oldest one sorted.

I'd move bedtime earlier. Bath for 15 minutes. Teeth then bed. No stories etc do it all before bath.

For every night ds doesn't disturb the baby and get to sleep he gets £1 towards a new toy.
Back in the day ds got 20p!!
The nights he messes about no £1 mind.

For DS2 I do two stories with milk downstairs then IF he does good teeth brushing and getting into bed he gets another story.

Agree that if they’re in one room they need to go at the same time.

He's in bed for 7 but not asleep by 9?

What time does he get up on a morning? Does the little one wake through the night?

I agree with PP, I'd be making both bedtimes the same.

3.5 year old DS is in bed by 7:30 and asleep by 8 every night, I read to him and we have a chat about his day (nursery) then he knows it's time for sleep, very very rare hes still awake at 8 (usually if he's had a nap)

Does he have anything he's interested in or attached too? A toy maybe, a character? Maybe try using that to entice him to bed?

sit 5 year old down and explain from now on once in bed behaviour you expect (to stay in bed and not climb in cot) have a sticker chart ready and explain for each night he does this he gets a sticker once he has an agreed amount of stickers he gets a pre agreed reward.
stick to routine keep calm and be consistent.

Put your baby down in your room and transfer her later when DS is fast asleep.
Bribe DS with a star chart.
Put him to bed a bit later when he's definitely tired enough to sleep.

All I will say is that I also have a 5yo who regularly lies awake for two hours after being put to bed. I don't think she has ever slept for 12 hours out of 24 in her life, including as a baby. Night time routine makes not one jot of difference. I don't know the answer, but I do suspect some children just need less sleep than others. I was the same as a kid. I feel your pain

I think one of the PPs has it right and you should move the baby's cot back into your room and have her sleep in there with you until your son has gotten through this difficult sleep stage and you can trust him not to get into her cot etc

Also agree to put baby back in your room for now. Remove everything from your ds room so he can't get up to play and put a stair gate on his door so the door can be left open but he can't get out unnecessarily.

I've been putting them to bed at the same time. It varies with who goes to sleep first , my son has suffered some trauma in his life so needs reassuring a lot , he has other issues that come into play but a lot of the time it's not the issues that cause him to mess about , he gets up at 7am every morning and goes to bed at 7:30 every night but it doesn't matter how many books I read or how many times I put him back to bed he goes down stairs messes about , goes to the bathroom messes about or climbs in and out of my daughter's cot , there is no real jealousy he had 4 years with me on his own and his sister came into his life , it made some jealousy but not tones he's going to school 5 days a week no issues there , very rarely he will have a EDITED OUT BY MNHQ about going to school etc.. he does have to have his own way a lot of the time due to this method of parenting I've been told to use (therapeutic parenting) but I'm trying my best not to allow certain things or allow him to get away with jumping up and down off of his bed and causing a ruckus at night . However it makes no difference and I have no room in my room to put my daughter in my room as I gave them the bigger room.

What do you do when he climbs in your daughters cot?
You need to put her back in your room.
Mine are 5, 4 and 9 months. Bath at 6.45, pyjamas, teeth brushed, story, into beds and I leave the room. All (usually) asleep for 7.30 (I say usually as 9 month old had a 4pm danger nap in the car and I can hear him chatting away in his cot over the monitor!)

It’s not safe for your daughter to have him climbing in the cot.

I’d put your DD back in your room for now. It isn’t safe with DS climbing in her cot. Have you tried the sleepy lotion by lush? It doesn’t work for everyone but it really worked for me