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Original poster

I can’t potty train my three year old!!!!!! What do you do when they constantly wet themselves?

19 replies

sheshootssheimplores · 12/08/2019 15:07

His preschool are putting me under pressure to potty train by September. I’ve tried once before and he just constantly wet himself, preschool reprimanded me saying he wasn’t ready, he has to be showing signs he knows he needs a wee.

So I backed off however here we are in August, they would prefer if he was potty trained before his return in September, yet he still shows no signs of understanding when he needs to go. I’ve had him in pants today and he just pees in then then tells me when he’s standing there covered in wee.

I have a potty in the same room, a special seat for the toilet, a reward chart and I regularly ask if he needs a wee. What else can anyone suggest?

OP posts:
PaddyF0dder · 12/08/2019 15:11

Honestly? If he’s not ready he’s not ready.

Our eldest wasn’t ready until maybe 3 and a half. But he got there in the end.

There shouldn’t be any pressure.

Original poster
sheshootssheimplores · 12/08/2019 15:17

He’s 4 in February. My eldest was potty trained for wee at this age, also a boy, I’m just surprised we are seemingly nowhere near getting it. He’s really bright in other areas and has no speech problems. We talk about it but he just doesn’t want to know 😬

OP posts:
Talcott2007 · 12/08/2019 15:21

The oh crap potty training book was a good read when we were getting ready to train DD.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Families Potty training
IHaveBrilloHair · 12/08/2019 15:21

He's not ready.
Dd was well over three, don't stress.

SeaSaltandLime · 12/08/2019 15:23

I tried potty training 3 times about 5-6 months apart and each time failed.

When she was ready there was no 'training' needed. That was about 5 months ago now and we've had 1 accident since.
For wee and poo.

Honestly, they're ready when they are.

Good luck.

SayOohLaLa · 12/08/2019 15:33

What should you do? Get the poor soul a different pre-school. or tell the current one to jog on with their requests that he's trained for September. They can't require that.

Wait until October half term then try again. He is his own child and will be ready when he's ready.

cookiechomper · 12/08/2019 16:30

My DD is 3 and a half and only began potty training 2 months ago and is now fully trained. I knew she was slightly later than her peers, but you can't force them. I took it at her pace and never pressured her. They all get in there in the end so there's no point forcing it. He'll let you know when he's ready.

Chocolatedaim · 12/08/2019 16:39

Oh it really frustrates me when settings put pressure on parents in this way (and this is coming from someone who looks after under 5s!)

Your DS won’t do it until he has decided he is ready, and if you are feeling stressed/anxious in anyway, it won’t help.

If the usual methods of sticker/reward charts aren’t working, then I would be tempted to get some pull up pants and put your DS in them. Practice dressing and undressing lower half of his body, and once he is able to do that alone I would put him back in pants. Have spare sets of clothes folded in every room, so he can change himself if he has an accident. Don’t ever shout or moan at him when he wets himself, just encourage him (as I’m sure you already are)

Once he sees the enjoyment of independent he will do it. Boys often take longer than girls, don’t let it worry you!

Original poster
sheshootssheimplores · 12/08/2019 16:54

Thank you, you’ve all been very kind Flowers

I’m certainly not getting cross with him. I have lots of books we can read together about potty training so I shall do that. I also have all sorts of pants from small briefs to washable pull ups to standard pull up nappies. He is currently sitting in the kitchen with me in a washable pull up and I’m asking him every 10 mins if he needs a wee 🤭 My six year old is also being uber positive and encouraging which is sweet.

OP posts:
Haworthia · 12/08/2019 16:58

I have similar trouble with my son, who’s over 4 and probably has ASD. He just will not tell me when he needs to go.

So I have to ask him constantly. Sometimes he says yes, but more often than not he’ll say no, dancing around and crossing his legs. So I have to make him go. Tedious, but it’s the only way at the moment.

If I were you I’d try taking him to the potty/toilet every half hour. Don’t bother asking him if he needs to go, or hoping that he’ll tell you. Just keep taking him, and see if that makes a difference.

Mayjane5 · 12/08/2019 17:02

My little girl was 4 when she started to use the toilet, it took a few attempts but she finally decided to do it on her own, we got a mysize potty toilet which she loved I think that really helped, the nursery also said she needed to be out of nappies so sent her in pants and lots of spare clothes and I think being with the other children they soon learn. Don’t worry he will get there.

Bornfreebutinbiscuits · 12/08/2019 17:07

Tell pre school to back off he is not ready.

mynameisMrG · 12/08/2019 17:18

We have been training for a week and decided today to go back to nappies. Ds is simply not ready. He isn’t able to tell me when he needs a wee. We will try again in a few months. Pre-school need more understanding of child development if they are putting pressure on you to train a child who isn’t ready

Submariner · 12/08/2019 17:41

I would give it a try for a few days now but if it doesn't improve I would wait for a few months. The ERIC website is helpful and reassuring.

Original poster
sheshootssheimplores · 14/08/2019 13:39

Thought I’d give an update Grin

My three year old is now weeing on the toilet 😁😁😁. He’s not independently taking himself there but he is going when I ask and doing a wee whilst he’s there. The bribe that finally worked was chocolate milk 🤣

So I’m delighted and glad o didn’t give up on day one.

OP posts:
Katinski · 14/08/2019 15:56

Brilliant! The Power of Chocolate wins againGrin

MoonriseKingdom · 14/08/2019 15:57

That’s great. Hope he enjoys pre school. I found that preschool tend to remind them a lot especially at first and they quite like all going off to the toilets together at that age.

HappyParent2000 · 14/08/2019 16:01

Your preschool are putting you under pressure?

Ours were brilliant about it, encouraging and helpful but never pressured.

It could have been easy to take it as pressure but we never took it that way. How are they approaching the subject with you?

Ours is going to school in a month but still isn’t fully toilet trained. Our preschool have been quite reassuring and a great partner to help him learn.

I would suggest trying to work with them, make sure both parties are doing the same thing. For us that was key to progress.

Try not taking it as pressure, talk in detail with them about what they advise and come up with a common plan.

Original poster
sheshootssheimplores · 14/08/2019 18:07

He has now done his first poo on the toilet! DS1 didn’t do that till he was four and it was a nightmare to persuade him. I’m made up 👌

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