Bad labour experience - terrified of sex after forceps & episiotomy

[ADTB]

Hi

I’m new here and am looking for some advice from some other Mums!

I had a traumatic delivery with my son in May this year. I was induced which was predicted to take 48 hours but my labour started within 6 hours and I was put on a drip to speed up my labour as the midwives didn’t believe I was contracting due to me looking ‘too comfortable’. It wasn’t until I was monitored and screaming that I needed to push that they realised I was fully dilated.

Due to being put on a drip which shouldn’t have happened, my son was moving down the birth canal too quickly for my body to cope with, his heart rate dropped and the cord was tangled around his neck so a doctor came in to do an episiotomy and emergency focreps delivery. I had 22 stitches and had pain up until my son was 9 weeks old.

He turns 11 weeks old today and although I’m no longer in pain, I am desperate to try and get mine and my partners sex life back on track as it feels like we are losing our spark. But I am terrified of it being painful. I have tried a finger (sorry if TMI) and it wasn’t too bad but felt sore afterwards.

We are going away for his birthday next weekend so would appreciate any advice on how we can re start our sex life comfortably and without me being such a scaredy so we can try and get our connection back whilst we have some us time. Thank you :-)

Lots and lots of lube. Take it slow ànd try being on top so you can control things.

I agree. Lots of lube, and when you think you've used enough, use some more. Use a position where you're in control of penetration, and take your time. No rush.

Don't put any pressure on yourself, it's still such early days! Unless of course you really want to be having sex, in which case lots of lube as PP said and take it slow. But otherwise, there are many other ways to reconnect intimately without penetration. Go easy on yourself. If you have a loving caring partner this shouldn't be an issue and you should not be feeling pressured to get back on it. It can take many months before you feel physically and emotionally ready.

If you do want to go for it a glass of wine can also help to relax you I find!

Thank you ladies , looks like I need to pack lube in my suitcase then!!

Everybodywaffledoggie - you’re right about being emotionally ready as I wasn’t expecting to feel quite so traumatised by the experience. And to be honest, although I know my partners eager for us to get back to it, he is being really supportive and I think he’s just as scared as me. Thanks so much for all your advice x