My 11yo is driving me up the wall

[biggirlknickers]

She is rude, sulky, argumentative, suddenly doesn’t like anything we used to both like, horrible to everyone, wants to play on her phone All. The. Time. She is constantly hungry but so rude with it. Whenever we are out somewhere she constantly wants to spend money on things / food / tat. Is bored and sulky unless we are all doing exactly what she wants.

She used to be adorable. Headstrong but adorable. I’m struggling to even like her right now (obviously I love her to bits).

Is it just mine? How do I handle it?

Oh I hear you! I am of no interest unless I have my purse to have. Won't lift a finger to help.

Then just when i am getting really fed up, gives me a big hug and tells me in great detail all about the latest book she's reading.

My 9 Yr old is like this.. Hormones. Trying to find her way, getting control.. Who knows. I'm hoping she will get the sulky teenage years out of the way early so I can like her again!

Does she need a multivitamin, maybe a vitamin D supplement? Hormones are definitely in the mix, I have two 11 year olds and an almost 13 year old, fun times! My eldest was like that before starting her period so keep that in mind. Try to keep a sense of humour, take the phone away for a while, I notice behaviour dips with more screen time, give chores, encourage fun activites together even if she seems anti-fun right now. This too will pass!!

Yep. 11 year old boy here and much the same. Huffing and sighing, mean to his 8 year old little brother and he is either on the computer or moaning that somebody else is on it. Not forgetting the regular shouts of "You have literally ruined my life" followed by loud stomping up the stairs.

Thank you for the replies! It’s so good to know it’s not just mine. I genuinely wasn’t expecting the awfulness until the teenage years. As PP said, let’s hope they are just getting it out of the way early and they are going to be amazing and thoughtful 14 year olds!

In the thick of it here. My dd started it at 12 and a couple of years on she's still awful but I've learned how to deal with it, I can now detach from her when she's in my face asking for a fight and not let myself become emotional. Not taking it personally is tough, but it's the only way to cope with it. The tween and teen sections on here are excellent for support. There are also some great books such as 'Get out of my life but first take me and Alex to town'.

You have to look after yourself as it can really affect your own mental health. I've taken up crochet and knitting which I pick up as soon as I feel overwhelmed with her and it calms me down. It's my therapy! I also go out a lot, even if it's to the park bench with a book, doing grocery shopping in the evenings etc - I'm often to be found wandering the aisles of sainsburys at 9pm! Just being less available helps them realise we are people in our own right, not just annoying parents whose sole purpose is to ruin their life.

Next doors 8/9 yo does a great line in stair stomping/door slamming already.

Not looking forward to the teenage years. I’m hoping they move.

Another 11 yo girl here and much the same. It’s exhausting.

My younger dcs (both boys - 10 and 13yo) have reached this charming stage. My dd didn't hit this stage until well into her 20s, after she'd already moved into her own flat. I think her easy teenage years lulled me into a false sense of security. My boys have thrown that right out of the window.