DH suddenly needs to poo when I ask him to play with the kids

[pensionpot]

Really annoys me when he does this but he's always saying I need to poo when I ask him to play with the kids. Even if he's just been ten minutes ago

how about you say the same to him every time he asks you to do something? Or just say "I need a poo, can you look after the kids" (pre-empt it!!) :)

Send them with him.

How old are the children?

I need to poo I take the baby with me!

Tell him again as soon a she leaves the bathroom.

That's a good idea, I might send the kids in with him
Every time I go to poo I have DS following me in so I have to poo really quickly

I bet half the time he's in there just watching the football on his phone

What's all this asking him to play with the kids? Doesn't he just do it?

Anyway if DH or I are feeling a bit shit we'd have had a conversation like "Do you want to cook dinner or entertain the toddlers?" and divided up the labour accordingly.

My two follow me to the bathroom and try very hard to stand as close as possible. send them with him.

I feel like I'm the default parent as DS is super clingy to me, not helped by DH escaping from childcare every chance he gets

To be fair to DH, he does pretty much all the housework except cooking

My four year olds at work do this when it’s time to tidy up. I’m think you have one more child than you thought.

It’s just an excuse to absent himself. My husband always disappears to the toilet with his phone at weekends when he’s sick of the children. Sometimes I send DD upstairs to shout “I need the toilet Daddy!”

I might have a word next time he does it but he'll always deny it .. I really need to poo!

It's always a pattern - he sits there for 5 minutes, then he says - I need to poo, see you, mummy will play with you now

Tell DH he needs to go on a love bombing exercise with DS so DS wants to spend time with him.

Given your DH is not useless in other ways he might be hiding from the hurt of being rejected by his DS when he tries to play. Pointing it out might be enough to change it. The great thing about little kids is how they will let you repair a relationship. They want to love and be loved.

Of course he doesn't need to poo, he's at best lazy, or at worst avoiding interacting with his children.
Complete dickhead, pull him up on it, every time.

Even if he does, that takes, what, a minute? 2 or 3 if he has an upset stomach maybe? And then he can play. Problem solved. If he's regularly taking longer than a couple of minutes I'd take him to a doctor.

Do you think he lacks confidence and he’s nervous? He might genuinely need a poo if he gets anxious, it’s quite a common reaction to nerves

He sounds like he is being a dick, I agree with pre-empting him and asking him if he needs another poo or can he look after the children again, if it is pointed out he might realise what he's doing.

Tell him you've made a doc's appointment for him as he seems to need to shit so often.

When you want him to do something say "Do you need the Loo?" when he says no. you can say great, hand him the baby and tell to play with the kids while you do other things.

Omg some of these comments have me in hysterics! My DH does this too! The toilet is like his personal sanctuary

If he says he needs the toilet tell him you just need to pop out the house for a while. They can find him in the bathroom if they need him as you will be unavailable.

I do wonder if he ever has them alone or whether you have fallen into the "family time" which means he is always parenting when you are there too.

My DH does this too, several times a day at the weekend. It was half an hour each time at one point. He’s just faffing on his phone.

Tell him you need to poo, so he has to look after the kids.

Take a good book with you.

It’s what I call ‘active avoidance’. My DH does this too, but generally involves any other random task / errand of his choice instead of the ones that actually need doing.

We’ve recently moved out of our house for a big reno project, so there was a lot of this. I ended up totally calling him out on it every time and he got much better.

maybe the idea of playing with the kids make him feel like he has poo.

My DH complained the other day that one of our DC followed him into the loo and was chattering to him. He came down most aggrieved. I just looked at him. It happens to you once with a single child in the 20 out of 24 daily hours you spend shitting? The worlds tiniest violin mate. Try not even being able to widdle without 2 small people in the same tiny room as you competing to sing you the song of their people. Bloody arse doesn't know he's born!