Parenting advice needed

[Stephxxx]

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet. I'm just basically looking on some advice regarding my 8 year old. Her behaviour is seriously out of control. Wont listen to a thing i tell her, wont go to sleep at bedtime, screaming and shouting at me all the time. But according to school shes good as gold. She makes me get her dressed still and bastard running rings around me. Do you reckon this could be something more serious like ADHD or just behaviour problems. Not judging please im just after some advice as im at my wits end with it all 😥

. She makes me get her dressed still and bastard running rings around me

I think this line could sum up your issue. She has got used to being able to get what she wants. Presumably the teacher doesn’t dress her after pe and she copes?

You need to take back control. It might annoy her at first but for everyone’s sake you need to make her know your the parent.

If it was ADHD etc school would have picked it up.. If she's 'good as gold' at school and playing you up then she chooses to do so.

I'm sure someone with a more modern approach to discipline will be along shortly.

Thank you for replying to me, yes i do agree with use both. Shes running rings around me and i feel as though i have nobody as her dad never has her or any of my family members. Plus i live quite a distance away from them all so i have no support at all. I just feel as though im alone and my child is being so unbearable to cope with. I love her to pieces dont get me wrong but her behaviour needs to change and i dont know where to start.

I would sit down with her. Maybe create a reward chart for positive behaviour towards some targets you set together? With an achievable end point and reward?

She makes me get her dressed still and bastard running rings around me.

She’s 8 - she can’t ‘make’ you do anything, you’re an adult. The first thing you need to do is remember that - you are her parent and you are in charge. If she misbehaves, what happens? Are there consequences?

Put her school clothes in a bag next time she refuses to get dressed. Take her to school in her pajamas. You'll only have to do it once

I've tried reward charts, naughty step, sending her to her room, grounding her... you name it. She just doesn't last 5 minutes before she's on one again screaming and shouting and refusing to listen to anything i ask her to do. & the pj trick haha someone else told me to do that

Whatever you do you need to persevere with it. If you back down when she complains you may as well not try it in the first place

I’m not a big fan of the naughty step or reward charts at home tbh - I think they’re a bit gimmicky, hard to enforce without the right advice on how to do it and easy to get wrong. You’ve probably tried this too but removal of privileges is easier - e.g. loss of iPad time, no tv, not going on an outing that was arranged etc. It’s obviously met with a lot resistance and tantrums so isn’t fun for either of you but if you persevere and mean what you say she will respect you more. And obviously if she behaves well she can keep those priveledges. It’s hard on your relationship when there’s always this tension so it might also be nice to find an activity you can enjoy together - cooking or baking maybe? - to help you bond again. It’s all easier said than done, but you did ask for advice - that’s mine.