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Original poster

Well, I am certainly not enjoying age 4

52 replies

BendydickCuminsnatch · 09/08/2019 17:02

The attitude! The sass! The rage!! The WHINING. Good god! Is this who he is now or will he ever be sweet again? 😫 I mean we have nice spots of each day but I am more shouty than I’ve ever been. I’ve started shouting at the 1 year old too forgetting he doesn’t have a clue. Ugh.

I admit we’ve had a fairly easy time until now but it’s like the minute my eldest turned 4 (May) he turned into an absolute beast. I am hoping he’ll be nicer with all the stimulation school will bring, but in reality he’s just going to be exhausted and it will all be worse won’t it?

Constantly asking for treats, whining, screaming if the baby ruins his game (frustrating but there are other ways to deal aren’t there!). 🤯🤯🤯

Yesterday I bought him some smarties on the way home from nursery, he was lovely until the minute he’d finished them and then turned absolutely vile, which I just found so manipulative. He never eats his dinner and then always asks for an ice cream (obviously that never happens but he keeps asking). I always tell him ‘whinging has never worked so why do you keep whingeing for things?’ But maybe he’s still to young to understand that question.

Just a general rant! At least a lot of his friends are equally awful at the mo!

OP posts:
Contraceptionismyfriend · 09/08/2019 21:20

For those saying it gets better.

When?! I need to know down to the day! Because I'm at 5 and he's bloody shit. 😱

zebrapig · 09/08/2019 21:28

Oh god yes! She drives me up the wall with her constant whinging and not listening. She's a sensitive little soul and is really struggling with the thought of starting school. It's mostly manifesting itself at bedtime, which of course is the point in the day when my patience has mostly run out. She can be very loving though, especially towards DS who is 19mo so I try to treasure those moments.

Marrow · 09/08/2019 21:33

Oh gosh 4 is so much better than 14! The attitude! The sass! The rage! The whining! THE HORMONES!!! ConfusedWink

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GrouchyKiwi · 09/08/2019 21:35

Four is the worst. The worsty worst. Ugh. Give me a tantrumming two year old any day.

It's the emotional development, I think. They've got these enormous emotions all the time and don't understand them. Plus they're becoming more articulate so we expect more of them, which isn't necessarily fair.

I'd say it gets better but my eldest has been a four year old for three years now, and my second is only just 5 so I don't know how she'll get on.

norbert23 · 10/08/2019 07:48

@ElphabaTheGreen I feel your pain 😂 ear syringing made me chuckle!
School looming and saying bye to nursery staff / children isn't helping but I do think she's decided to test what I'll put up with. 5:30 wake ups randomly now too, despite a good gro clock routine for over a year 😭

Pogmella · 10/08/2019 07:53

Genuinely thought my 3.5 yo had developed hearing problems until last week when she eventually bumbled up for bedtime after I’d given up shouting her name and got on with some tidying. She innocently told me ‘I couldn’t hear you screaming, mummy’

NaomiFromMilkShake · 10/08/2019 08:01

I showed DS the difference between a whiny voice and a normal voice.

When he used to whine , I would say I speak English and French but I don't speak whine.

Took a while for it to drop in to his MO, but he did eventually get it and would recalculate how he was speaking.

He is eighteen now, and generally speaking a lovely, mannerly chap.

ShutTheFridgeUp · 10/08/2019 08:11

DD was so lovely at 1,2,3&4 then she went to school... absolute MONSTER. School has ruined my lovely baby! I'm hear things settle in year 1 a bit more. I bloody well hope so as she can be utterly vile.

IntoValhalla · 10/08/2019 08:19

I’ve definitely found my people! This thread is giving me some hope that my DD’s chronic selective hearing and whingy whiny baby voice/baby noises aren’t exclusive to her and everyone else’s kids seem to go through these phase as well.
The thing with my DD is that she knows a behaviour is wrong because I correct it every single time, but she has this weird idea that she can just ignore me and carry on anyway Hmm She also gives zero fucks about any form of punishment. She is honestly breaking me.
I’ve got her at home for the summer until she starts school, I’ve got 2.5yo DS (who at the moment is the exact opposite to DD. He’s genuinely the easiest, most laid back toddler I’ve ever come across!), I’m heavily pregnant with DC3, and DH is going away with work next weekend for 2 weeks Confused I think I actually might die from sheer exhaustion.

funnyfeeling · 10/08/2019 08:21

I feel for you all but I am glad others are going through the same.
Yesterday when i asked dd what the magic word was her response was "now!" Shock Hmm

Pogmella · 10/08/2019 08:28

I asked DD what the magic word was and she witheringly responded ‘can you just do it mummy’

ElphabaTheGreen · 10/08/2019 08:31

She also gives zero fucks about any form of punishment. She is honestly breaking me.

This x 1000

He’s a little shit but there’s fuck all I seem to be able to do about it because there is nothing he seems to care about enough for me to use as a consequence. No toy/s he cares enough about to confiscate, if I send him to his room he has a lovely time playing and generally upending the room and gives no thought to the fact he just twatted his brother for the umpteenth time that day, if I try and ‘naughty step/corner’ him he gives me a ‘don’t be ridiculous’ look and leaves, zero fucks given about stickers as rewards. I’m completely at a loss.

IntoValhalla · 10/08/2019 08:37

Elphaba we’ve tried pretty much everything.
I find with confiscating toys as punishment, that she cares that the toy has gone. She doesn’t actually compute that the toy has gone because of her behaviour if that makes sense?
She will kick and scream about the toy being taken away, but that’s all she’s bothered about. She genuinely doesn’t care that her 2yo brother is sobbing because she smacked him round the head because he didn’t want to play to her exact rules Hmm And the worst part is, I know that the smacking/general nastiness displayed at home has never been a problem at preschool because I’ve never been called in to discuss any kind of behaviour issues! If anything, when she’s at preschool, she’s the golden child who’s arsehole shoots out bolts of sunshine Hmm

ElphabaTheGreen · 10/08/2019 09:01

We appear to have boy and girl versions of the same child, IntoValhalla. We’ve thought about going to the school SENCo about DS2, but we’re sure we’d just get blank looks and disbelief because he’s an angel at school. Infuriating.

PlinkPlink · 10/08/2019 09:18

Jesus

Well this thread is full of ominous foreboding 😫

DS has just turned 3 and his screeching and whining drives me potty already.

I'm going to be bloody sectioned by the end of 4 years 🙈🙈

norbert23 · 10/08/2019 09:19

If it makes anyone feel better, I've been teaching primary for 15 years and every parents evening I have the same conversation about how cheeky they are at home and how they can't believe how good they are at school with 90% of parents. Something to do with being comfortable with parents enough to misbehave 🙄 which is of no consolation to me now that I have little miss "no means no".

Original poster
BendydickCuminsnatch · 10/08/2019 13:43

I asked DD what the magic word was and she witheringly responded ‘can you just do it mummy’

😄😄😄

OP posts:
IntoValhalla · 10/08/2019 15:23

Elphaba I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if DD does indeed have some form of ASD - it’s not just her behaviour. There’s lots of other little “isms” that she has that all match up perfectly to lists of ASD signs in little girls, such as her sensory issues with noise. She is really hypersensitive to any kind of noise - toilets flushing, hoovers, hairdryers, Hand dryers in public toilets, traffic noise, tumble dryer, washing machine spin cycle, the sound of automatic doors opening and closing...I could honestly go on and on about noises that bother her! She’s very particular about her routine and the way things are done etc.
But I haven’t spoken to her preschool senco, purely because she doesn’t display these behaviours when she’s there! So they will just look at me like I’m mad Confused But again, the fact that she doesn’t display these behaviours in a preschool setting is another sign/symptom in itself! Apparently, girls with ASD are usually incredibly good at “masking” their behaviours in a school setting, so it all comes tumbling out when they are at home and feel like they can relax!

happypotamus · 10/08/2019 15:42

I thought it was just my 4 year old that is so horrible. She acts more like a 2 year old now than she did when she was 2: she whines and whinges, screams and shouts when she doesn't get her own way or if everyone isn't doing exactly what she wants them to do, she bosses her older sister around, insists on sitting on specific seats on the settee even if DD1 or a cat is already sitting there, stomps her feets, shouts 'it's not fair', blames DD1 for everything, has forgotten all her manners.
Pre-school says she's lovely, polite, friendly, kind, always helps tidy up, has lots of friends... I don't know how she has lots of friends because she is horrible to everyone.

IntoValhalla · 10/08/2019 17:46

@happypotamus mine never really went through typical “terrible 2’s” either. She was actually quite placid 2 year old!
Then the clock struck midnight, marking the start of her 3rd birthday, and she was instantly possessed by Satan himself Confused

ShutTheFridgeUp · 10/08/2019 18:32

My 5 year old rolled her eyes at me yesterday. Rolled her fucking eyes. Absolute twat.

Crunchymum · 10/08/2019 18:55

Didn't have it too bad with DC1 but I don't think one heard my 4yo speak properly in about 6 months.

Its either screeching, shouting, whining or worst of all she kind of sings her words.

She is an absolute live wire and a year of full time preschool hasn't slowed her down one iota.

I do adore her energy and her zest but she is hard bloody work on all levels.

Littlepigsmig · 11/08/2019 13:09

I am glad I found this thread and it's not just my DD. Since turning 4 she's had such and attitude and the meltdowns come out of nowhere!
I keep thinking she'll change once at school, but I think I know deep down that attitude and tiredness will not be a good mix!

happypotamus · 11/08/2019 14:09

littlepigsmig I was dismayed to read earlier in this thread that starting school gives them an attitude and makes them horrible. There is no hope then. DD is tired anyway because she won't go to sleep at anything like a sensible time (that's not a being 4 thing, she has always been crap at sleeping), and at the moment I don't have to wake her early, but having to get up at 7am 5 days a week for school in a few weeks is not going to help.

Littlepigsmig · 11/08/2019 15:30

happy I've heard mixed things about starting school, some day it doesn't get better whereas others say it does.

Either way I am thankful that I started the C25K when I did, 30-40 minutes on my own, outside with music helps me massively.

We'll see what Sept brings, I'm hoping for less tantrums and whines but I'm not putting all my eggs in that basket