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Awkward baby mum

8 replies

Trying2611 · 09/08/2019 16:20

Just after some advice really, I’m 23 my boyfriend is 28 been together for 4 years everything is great except this Daughters mum, she literally hates me I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong met my partner when there daughter was 6 months old they had already split, can completely understand her feelings no one likes there ex moving on, thought it was all just calm down but 4 years I’m still the same, partner is not allowed to see his daughter if I’m around has to take her out which is fine I don’t push it she’s the mother respect her feelings, she makes his life so difficult though he recently lost his driving licence and she won’t let me pick the daughter up (even with him in the car) she insists he pays for taxis even though she lives around 10 miles away! Recently she found out that I picked them up from soft play as there was no available taxis and she stopped him seeing daughter for around a month and went to the school to change her surname from his to hers.
It’s so unfair not for me I can live with it but for my partner I can see it kills him. Any advice on how best to handle it TIA

OP posts:
Dandelion1993 · 09/08/2019 16:23

You need to get it legally sorted. Unless there is a genuine concern (previous record of harming children) then she can't dictate who he has around the daughter in his time.

The car thing is also ridiculous.

Pipandmum · 09/08/2019 16:25

Yes he needs to get formal custody arrangement. His ex can’t dictate terms like that.

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 09/08/2019 16:26

The stupid woman is hurting her daughter by behaving so spitefully. I agree your dp needs to seek some advice here, he and his daughter are entitled to a relationship.

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GreatWallOfVagina · 09/08/2019 17:13

Unfortunately, some women will use their children to hurt their exes no matter what. There's no reasoning with them.

In order to get something solid in place, your partner needs to seek legal advice. Evidently the arrangement you currently have are not working, so it's time to act accordingly and get a court ordered arrangement in place.

PrayingandHoping · 09/08/2019 17:22

He needs to go to court for a formal order

She can't legally change the daughters name without his permission!

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 09/08/2019 17:44

Why has he lost his license and why hasn't he taken this to court before now when it's been 4 years? His ex is behaving dreadfully but I'm not sure you have the whole story here.

Trying2611 · 09/08/2019 17:53

He lost his licience too many points speeding (his own stupid fault not condoning it at all) yes looks like we will have to take the legal route have been hoping for so long she would maybe meet someone herself and maybe be more understanding but no :( I’m ok with not having a relationship with his daughter if it keeps the peace but just upset for him that she’s using me as the reason

OP posts:
boosterrooster · 09/08/2019 20:12

Yep, go the legal route. And the sooner the better so as he can gain regular access and establish a solid bond and relationship with his daughter
The ex sounds like a typical jealous cow who is using her own child to punish your OH and this could continue for years unless she is stoped.
He should instigate mediation, it could help make him look good in the eyes of the court

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