What am I on antibiotics for?

[Wingingthis]

V. early pregnancy and going out for work drinks tonight. Using the classic “on antibiotics” excuse for not drinking. What could I be on antibiotics for that wouldn’t have obvious visible symptoms?? Very close to a couple of people so don’t feel like I could just say something like “an infection” as they’d ask for details!

I covered my early pregnancies by just announcing I wasn't drinking that evening and then when the inevitable 'ooog pregnant?' questions started I went off on an epic rant about how rude and inappropriate that question is as you never know if someone has just suffered a miscarriage, or is infertile.

a) totally caught them off guard and shocked them into not bringing it up again ever

b) might stop them from subjecting that idiocy on anyone else.

Double win!

Otherwise you could always do what I did when I was not pregnant but didn't want to drink anyway and offer to whip out your tampon and slap them in the face with it if they need to know the state of your reproductive organs that badly. Also works well.

I don't think there's any point pretending anything. If you usually drink everyone will assume yoire pregnant anyway.

If you really want to hide it then it has to be fake drinks. But if you just order a lemonade most people will not ask why but will guess why so everyone colludes in the pretence to be polite.

If I’m not drinking (quite often and tbh none of us are big drinkers) I just say I’m parched so I’ll have a lemonade / coke first then have a wine. But rarely get on to the wine. Might be worth a go?

Can you not just go up and order coke/lemonade and pretend it's a mixer?

I would go for the fake drinking option, I managed it for a whole day at a wedding when I was 12 weeks. I just ordered my own and fake drank wine at the table. It was easier because I had my husband there and could get him to drink my drinks! Nobody suspected.

At my hen night my SIL secretly spoke to the waitress and said that whenever she ordered a specific cocktail could they just bring her a non alcoholic version. They were fine about it but it was quite a fancy place (not sure the bar staff at Wetherspoons would be so obliging...) and nobody guessed.

My friend drank non alcoholic beer at our work Christmas party and no one noticed it wasn’t real beer. You’d have to order your own drinks.

Antibiotics = pregnant I'm afraid.

My highest success rate was with pretend drinking. If it's the sort of place you can make friends with the barman (G&T without the G) then get him on side, if not get a spritzer, ditch a glug of it where you can and keep topping up with water. Or get a non-alcoholic beer in a glass.

This gets easier the drunker everyone else gets.

I agree, get a fake drink (t minus the g, non alcoholic beer in a glass etc). Antibiotics is a terrible excuse.

This kind of thread makes me so sad.

Is it really expected that everyone drinks alcohol every time they go out? And why do others expect an explanation?

I have never given one. I just order the soft drink of my choice if I don't want alcohol and drink it. No one has ever questioned me about it.

I used the excuse that I’d already arranged to pick DH from his night out before my night out was organised

Why are you ‘sad’ bouncing? If Op usually drinks alcohol on these occasions, then people are bound to wonder. It doesn’t mean she’s an alcoholic, or can’t enjoy herself without alcohol.

Why are you ‘sad’ bouncing?

It's just sad that there is an expectation that people drink alcohol as standard

If Op usually drinks alcohol on these occasions, then people are bound to wonder.

That's my point. People shouldn't be caring or making a deal out of someone drinking g or not drinking.

It doesn’t mean she’s an alcoholic, or can’t enjoy herself without alcohol.

WTF - that's a bit of a leap - In absolutely the wrong direction. I was not insinuating either of those things. In fact I did t make any comment about the OP at all. I just think it's sad that people, like OP, even have to consider other people's comments when going out and not drinking.

I just think it’s usual to notice when somebody does anything outside of their norm, and wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that this is because of any expectation of drinking alcohol, or indeed make a judgement if that were the case. I guess it may depend on the social mores of an individual’s social group.

In my own friendship group, several of us don’t drink, but others do, moderately, so it would be unusual for them not to if we were out for a big social occasion. If we noticed it, it wouldn’t be because we were trying to egg them on to join us in drinking alcohol, just that we noticed they had done something different to usual.

To be honest it makes me sad too. I'm sad that it's even necessary to need an excuse
I'm sad so many people still think it's ok to pester a woman about if she might be pregnant instead of waiting for if/when said woman actually wants to share any news.

I find it sadder that we can't talk about it. I never made a big deal of it but never hid it or invented excuses either. When someone asked me why I wasn't drinking I said it was because I was pregnant but it was early days so nothing guaranteed. I trusted my friends to therefore not push for updates if anything did go wrong as it did with my first pregnancy which ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks.

But it's natural for people to wonder and make assumptions if someone who usually drinks suddenly doesn't.

I remember walking back from the bar with a diet coke and my best mate saying "oh fucking hell you're pregnant!" I hadn't even sat down 😂