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How to explain death of pet to 2 year old

11 replies

Tigerwhocamefortea · 09/08/2019 07:41

We are likely to need to have our rabbit put to sleep this afternoon. He is 11 years old and very much part of the family and we have an almost 3 year old who loves him to bits.

How do I explain to toddler what’s happened?

OP posts:
RiddleyW · 09/08/2019 07:42

I think just very simply and honestly. So say the rabbit died and when your toddler says why say because he was very old.

cantfindname · 09/08/2019 08:07

I wouldn't say 'because he was very old' to a toddler because to them their parents are 'very old' I would say he got sick and the vet couldn't make him better so he has died, which is like a forever sleep and he doesn't hurt any more.

RiddleyW · 09/08/2019 08:08

I don’t know, I wouldn’t mention sleep.

Thoughtlessinengland · 09/08/2019 08:10

Pretty sure you are not meant to associate “sleep” with death to children of that age as that makes them fearful of them or others not waking up.

In a sense there is no particular right answer here except to say that when people and animals sometimes get very very very poorly their bodies stop working. And that most of the time when people or animals are poorly they can be fixed but sometimes they can’t. It is very sad and ok to be sad and one day it will feel better.

ElphabaTheGreen · 09/08/2019 08:13

There’s a lovely book called ‘I’ll Always Love You’ that goes through a child dealing with the death of a pet.

But at not quite three...do you think you might be overthinking it a bit? Neither of mine would really have registered any real loss at that age. My mum died when DS2 was 2.5 and he was 100% ‘meh’. She lived with us so they were very close but it was still very much a case of, ‘Nana’s gone and isn’t coming back, but where’s my Mr Tumble doll?’ Harsh, but age-appropriate.

Tigerwhocamefortea · 09/08/2019 08:13

Thank you. Yes I have considered not mentioning sleep, or that he was very old as I he sometimes tells me I’m old!

Bunny will be going to the vets so he will see me leave with him and then then return without him.

OP posts:
CottonSock · 09/08/2019 08:14

This could me me. Had my 11 year old bunny put down when my daughter almost 3. I left her with a friend when I went to vets as I was very tearful. Afterwards I told her that he had gone to the stars, and it was ok to be a bit sad. She talked about him at times but took it ok. She still says she misses him 3 years on. I had to take my newborn to the vets and they were very busy (Sunday night). Ended up leaving bunny to be pit down quietly without me. Nurse suggested it as I was stressed about kids, dogs in waiting room, breastfeeding, bedtime etc. So this is an option if you have to take your child with you. My husband was away so it was awful timing. Bye bye bunny x

Tigerwhocamefortea · 09/08/2019 08:23

My husband is off work today luckily so can look after toddler. I also have a breastfeeding 4 month old!

Bunny has injured his eye. I took him
O the emergency vet at midnight and he was given pain relief and we are back this afternoon. They think he needs his eye removing but that at 11 he is unlikely to survive the GA so I think we will be putting to sleep rather than put him through such invasive surgery.

OP posts:
delilabell · 09/08/2019 08:27

Our dcat was pts two weeks ago.
We told our dd(3) and ds (6 who has additional needs) that dcat was very poorly and we were goin to take her to the vets and she wouldn't be coming back she'd be going to heaven (could alter to being a star in the sky if not religious) both said goodbye to her and gave her kisses.
Dd is very aware of it happening and has asked questions over the last couple of weeks but it was a peaceful way for her to understand. We've also cried Infront of her and just said it's cos we're sad.
Hope it goes OK opFlowers

Gertie75 · 09/08/2019 08:32

We've recently lost two dogs, one died on my lap from heart failure and the other was pts, dd's are 4 & 6 and I was honest with them, I told them they were dying but it was ok, it wouldn't hurt, they weren't scared and that it was very sad that our pets couldn't live as long as us but they'd had lovely happy days with us and that we'd all be ok.

They both dealt with it really well, I want them both to understand death, not to be frightened by it and to be able to talk about it.

amysara24 · 09/08/2019 08:43

There’s a brilliant book about “goodbyes”.. it’s called The Goodbye Book. I have a copy I no longer need that I’m more than willing to post to you. It’s never easy, so sorry about your beloved bunny ❤️

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