Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Party drop-outs - 48 hours notice

24 replies

cjt110 · 08/08/2019 13:06

It's DS party on Saturday. His first one so am aware that this might be normal run of the mill shit..

Quick msg to those I know are coming saying "See you on Saturday at X time for DS's party!"

Message back from one basically saying that she needs to move her son's activity class which would be mid party. She hadn't thought of moving it sooner and he will be missing the following 2 weeks due to holiday so she doesn't want to lose the money on saturday too.

Why do this? It's not a massive thing but why? The invites were sent a few months back and this person knew exactly when it was because we see each other daily.

I have replied asking could she let me know tomorrow.

A few others have read the message but not replied and some havent read it.

I just hope he doesnt end up with no-one bloody showing up :(

OP posts:
Pinkout · 08/08/2019 13:08

I’ve never had a follow up message for a party like this, I don’t think it’s the done thing. You send the RSVP and that should be the end of it unless you have a genuine reason not to attend such as illness.

She should have changed the activity date sooner but we are all human, we all forget things.

Original poster
cjt110 · 08/08/2019 13:09

@Pinkout maybe it's not... I dunno Confused I haven't ever held a party, for myself let alone anyone else!

OP posts:
Delatron · 08/08/2019 13:11

Yes I’m not sure you needed to send the reminder text out as the RSVP is enough.

I had a reminder what’s app to a party and it annoyed me a bit as I’d already rsvp’d then felt like I had to reply again to the what’s app. It’s a bit much.

The drop out is bad form though.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 08/08/2019 13:13

I think that the problem is the timing of the party, the middle of the summer holidays are so chaotic that people are bound to forget. In future its always best to have a party before schools break up or once they go back in September so people don't have time to forget.

In fairness to the other parents more than a month is quite ridiculous in terms of notice for a child's party so its not surprising they have forgotten.

I'm sure he will have a great time on Saturday but it's worth keeping alternative dates in mind for future years to avoid disappointment and stressing yourself out.

Original poster
cjt110 · 08/08/2019 13:16

I can't help that he was born in summer Sad

I suppose I'm sad because I am a christmas baby and the 1 "party" i do remember, the 2 friends were over an hour late and I remember being so heartbroken and feeling so unloved. I was about 6 at the time and that's why I hate parties and don't arrange or have them for myself.

And at 4, turning 5, i didnt think it wise to have the party early or late because it might confuse him.

I was advised, maybe on here? to send out invites before term ended which was 19/07

OP posts:
Delatron · 08/08/2019 13:16

I’m sure they haven’t forgotten. It’s just they’ve replied ok e saying they are coming.

Agree, with holiday birthdays it’s better to move to term time as lots of people are away.

I have an Easter birthday for DS and we always do after the holidays.

I’m sure most people will turn up!

SexFarmWoman · 08/08/2019 13:17

Don’t worry too much, I wouldn’t read your message as warranting a reply- you haven’t actually asked anything!

CherieBabySpliffUp · 08/08/2019 13:18

HeadsDown with all due respect I think the whole too much notice and people will forget excuse is a load of bull. Most smart phones have a calendar function don't they? It takes a matter of minutes to input the details and set a reminder Hmm

Original poster
cjt110 · 08/08/2019 13:18

DS was already gutted his best friend can't come.

Ah well... We'll have a ball regardless. It's at a playgym with food and cake.. what more could a boy want Smile

OP posts:
Delatron · 08/08/2019 13:19

Just have the party in September in future or the end of July before they break up. That’s what most people with August babies have to do unfortunately.

DS has never had a party on his actual birthday since he started school.

BlueSkiesLies · 08/08/2019 13:51

Good modern party etiquette is to invite, get and RSPV then a day or so before say something like “looking forward to seeing you at on Saturday at 14.00. Reminder our address is 101 smith street - look for the balloons on the gate :-) Parking can be a bit tricky but there is more down the side street.”

This message the prompts the annoying shysters who can’t manage their diaries appropriately to message you with some bullshit excuse, but if you’re still coming you don’t need to re reply saying you are.

DowntonCrabby · 08/08/2019 13:53

I’d ignore a reminder if I’d already RSVP’d to be honest so assume those who said they will come and don’t get in touch now will actually still come.

SparklyMagpie · 08/08/2019 13:54

I just had this last weekend for my DS's party.

6 didn't turn up after confirming they'd all be coming, and they hadn't even let me know. I was abit miffed but he still had lots of friends there :)

We all had a great time and was declared " best party ever" Grin my DS has been over the moon so that's all that matters and they all had fun

Snappedandfarted2019 · 08/08/2019 13:55

It's my dd birthday tomorrow we had her party on the 20th July the weekend after they broke up. There was still people going away but I agree it's best to do it before they break up or that weekend due to holidays away. Even on the day we had one child pull out it happens.

Original poster
cjt110 · 08/08/2019 13:57

@SparklyMagpie That's great to hear he enjoyed his day!

I'm hoping as the family will also be there, it will soften any no shows.

ood modern party etiquette is to invite, get and RSPV then a day or so before say something like “looking forward to seeing you at on Saturday at 14.00. Reminder our address is 101 smith street - look for the balloons on the gate :-) Parking can be a bit tricky but there is more down the side street.” Glad mine is similar to this!

OP posts:
AlunWynsKnee · 08/08/2019 13:58

One of my friends with a summer holiday birthday dc usually sends a reminder for the parties. I think that's fine.

lemmity · 08/08/2019 15:36

Everyone I know sends a reminder a day or so before the party, it's not weird at all OP. Those who haven't responded will more than likely be coming but don't feel they need to reply if they've already rsvped. Hope he has a fab party Smile

Walnutwhipster · 08/08/2019 15:45

The ones I found most frustrating were those who turned up after no RSVP.

troppibambini · 08/08/2019 15:48

I would probably ignore a reminder if I'd already RSVPed yes.
I had one mum message me 20 mins before the party started to say little Laura had just done ballet and was a bit tired so they were going to give the party a miss. Er yeah nice one so that's £14 I paid for for you child's space that will now be wastedHmm

catsbeensickagain · 08/08/2019 15:55

I have a holidays baby too (though he is now 16 Shock ) we always did little reminder texts as the holidays are long. The trouble with July/September for me was that in July I just couldn't wait for school to be done and in September it always seemed people were sneaking in a late holidays and only getting back as term started. Always a few missing but lots of good parties!
In my experience no reply = all is fine still coming.

FrumptyLumpty · 08/08/2019 16:15

I've started sending out reminder texts since 4/5 people didn't turn up to a pay per head party a few years ago. DS's birthday is late July and people forget when school's out. Lucky I did as 2 people who were coming replied that they couldn't come after all on the morning of the party. I'm assuming they probably wouldn't have bothered to tell me. Invites were sent out a month before.

I'd rather know before than be waiting around for them. Not sure why anyone would find a reminder too much Hmm.

Delatron · 08/08/2019 16:21

I guess the reminder text can offer a get out clause for rude people (ie they feel they can reply and say ‘actually I can’t come now) The people who have rsvp’d and are coming will have it in their diary and won’t want to reply again?

But, some people send reminder texts some don’t. Nothing wrong with it but don’t expect lots more replies repeating they are coming.

LIZS · 08/08/2019 16:31

August parties are always hit and miss, so many away and lack routine of seeing friends daily. However I don't think a reminder was weird unless they only rsvp'd last week. Other mum sounds disorganised and should have sorted out regular activity sooner or declined. Hope you are not paying per head in advance though as there will be no-shows.

KindergartenKop · 08/08/2019 19:24

They are dicks but you should have the party before the holidays or in September.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page