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A warts and all post... im struggling.

5 replies

cjt110 · 07/08/2019 15:18

DS turns 5 on Sunday.

He's a good kid overall. He is kind, uses his manners and loves unconditionally. He's funny and has a wicked sense of humour.

He is hard work. He is headstrong. He is independant. He is argumentative and sometimes, as stupid as it sounds... i feel he "picks on me"

He knows I will do anything for him, sometimes against my own judgment, for an easy life. I know he is pushing boundaries.

He has never needed us to stay with him when he goes to sleep. Ever. A few months back he asked me to sit with him. I did. We're still doing it months later. In the grand scheme it's no big deal.

But for me, he talks, he messes about, tells me 1001 things he could have told me during the day. Bedtime takes an hour at times. I remind him it's bedtime and time to sleep. I even say, and carry my action out, that I will get up and leave him if he doesn't settle down.

His room is directly next to the nlounge so we're not even 3 meters from him and he insists I sit with him.

For his Dad, he will talk a little then sleep.

I feel like it's a constant battle.

My husband says I always argue with DS. I have found myself feeling like DS goes on and on at me. And also feeling a little aggrieved. I will come in after they have had a day together and it will start as soon as i walk in the door. DS will start kicking off, moaning, or crying or mithering.

I think DH is beginning to see it's not ALL me.

I appreciate DH stepping in and taking control of things but I feel sometimes like it's never ending and soul destroying.

I guess I just feel like the shitty parent. I've made decisions that now, like sitting with him as he asked us to do, is coming to bite me on the arse.

Not sure what the point of this post is really.

I just wish DS was easier. That I wasnt the parent who he creates for and that makes me feel like shit.

I made him. I have taught and nutured him. This is my own doing.

OP posts:
chickenyhead · 07/08/2019 15:22

Is your OH the main carer? It sounds to me like he wants and desperately needs some of your undivided attention.

cjt110 · 07/08/2019 15:24

chickenyhead No, I am the main carer if you like. He is a mummy's boy and gets my attention when he wants it.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 07/08/2019 15:28

This is hugely common at this age for kids to develop issues going to sleep. Our daughter did it. Took us a long time to get her to go to sleep, songs, stories, the lot, then we had to move to us sitting on thr bloody stairs singing to her just so we could leave the room.

I think it's common with only kids, it's like s fear of missing out or being alone.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

IAskTooManyQuestions · 07/08/2019 15:29

Does he do this when you are alone together or when he has an audience ie DH is home?

If its the latter, he resents the switch in attention from him to DH.

cjt110 · 07/08/2019 15:35

He does it always. He just rabbits on and on at me. If I say something to someone he'll ask what did I say and when I say something like I was talking to X he will go on and on and on until I tell him what I said.

Thats what I mean when I feel he "picks on me" which I know sounds fucking ridiculous.

He doesn't do it to anyone else. Just me.

DH has told him off a few times for going on at me.

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