Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Sudden random fear of driving on motorways

35 replies

Waytooearly · 07/08/2019 12:29

For years I had been commuting 2 plus hours a day on motorways. Plus driving on motorway for an hour about every other weekend for visiting friends. Zero issues. I didn't mind driving as long as I had podcasts etc.

I moved recently, closer to work and friends. Therefore I wasn't on the motorway for about two months. Got on the motorway a couple of weeks ago and... froze up. I just felt this overwhelming fear and disorieation. Something about the multiple lanes? The speed? I don't even know.

I thought it was just a one-off but then it happened again the next time I was on the motorway. Sweating, panicking, the lot.

Today for work I had to drive 30 mn for a meeting. 30 min on the motorway, that's it! I wasn't even thinking of it beforehand, just was getting my stuff together. Then I got on the slip road and.. Bam.

I am still shaky. I am having a sandwich in the car park and planning a route back on the A roads, I'm ashamed to say.

I am fine, my car is fine, I know the way. What on earth is happening?!

Any ideas on how I can bop this over the head?

OP posts:

Original poster

Waytooearly · 07/08/2019 12:33

By "bam" I mean the fear "hit" me.

OP posts:

Scoleah · 07/08/2019 12:36

I have this. I was super confident then I Crashed my Car on a Normal Quiet Lane, over 10 years ago (had a Blow out and rolled the car) & it knocked me.
I had a meeting 20mins away on Busy duals the other day and I went around the Long way!
Lorries coming out of slip roads now terrify me too.
I think because I know what it feels like to lose control doing 30mph & feeling helpless , I can't bear the thought of what would happen any faster!
I've attempted a Motorway Twice , I can't cope with the sweat patches and the genuine fear of what may happen I'm safer not on them!

Original poster

Waytooearly · 07/08/2019 12:39

I'm sorry to hear about your accident Scoleah.

I don't have a similar justification though,so I'm puzzled at why this is happening.

OP posts:

BeautifulBlackBamboo · 07/08/2019 12:40

I've experienced this too. I found that when regularly using motorways I was ok, but once it became a rarity my confidence eroded. I either avoided them or drive in slow lanes. These days even A roads make me nervous as I drive even lesser and use tubes/trains more. I guess it's a habit thing. If you drive everyday for a week or two you might get it back!

PamelaTodd · 07/08/2019 12:40

You need a safe space where you won’t be interrupted or startled to try this, but I’ve found it very effective. It might be good to have someone with you to support you emotionally.

Lie or sit comfortably and relax a bit. Then think over the experience you’ve had. Sort of take yourself into the situation, as much as you are able.

Then try to look at what is happening in a scientific mindset, or as if you are a tourist looking at a museum exhibit. Pay attention to how it effects your body particularly.

Do you breathe quicker? Do your eyes widen? Do you have a pain, tightness, odd sensation, creepy feeling anywhere? Shoulders, tummy, chest?

If the feeling localized somewhere then just gently examine it. Breathe with it. Don’t push it away or fight it, just be with it (it will dissipate, I promise)

And watch what thoughts or memories float up. I have found this very useful in finding the root of anxiety attacks. Often for me, there’s a considerable space between the trigger and the response so it’s not obvious until I take the time to observe and note the physical symptoms what has occurred to set me off.

PawPawNoodle · 07/08/2019 13:19

Don't beat yourself up OP. I do 25k miles a year mostly on motorways, and even now I occasionally get a weird rushing panic sensation. I also plan my routes to avoid country roads after having a full on cry while navigating Dartmoor in an old corsa.

JMAngel1 · 07/08/2019 14:07

How old are you? One of my perimenopause symptoms was paralysing fear to get on a motorway, scared that I would crash and kill my children. Prior to this, I would hop and off motorways all the time. I started taking Ashwagandha and all is well again.

Wonkybanana · 07/08/2019 14:16

Was going to post exactly the same as JMAngel. Spooky!
(It was fluoxetine that calmed me down. I originally took it for night sweats, but discovered it helped other things that I hadn't connected.)

Flyingsouthwiththeswallows · 07/08/2019 14:38

I have spent decades driving on Motorways, but over the last 2-3 years have developed an irrational fear leading to full blown panic attacks every time I am faced with the prospect.

I have no idea why, except for the feeling that drivers are increasingly aggressive and unforgiving.

Where possible I use a train, even though it is inconvenient and I know I am being ridiculous !!

JMAngel1 · 07/08/2019 14:40

Jinx!
Wonky, if you want to get off fluoxetine, check out DIM supplement for night sweats and ashwaghanda for anxiety. Also check out keo diet and intermittent fasting for perimenopause symptom control.

Original poster

Waytooearly · 07/08/2019 14:44

Get out. I am 48! I never would have thought it was a perimenopause thing.

I am about to drive back now. I will take the motorway back as God is my witness.

OP posts:

TrumpInflatableChased · 07/08/2019 14:47

I was thinking perimenopause too. Hrt helped. The fall in oestrogen causes anxiety.

Wonkybanana · 07/08/2019 14:57

Angel - ha! I'm well into herbs and supplements, have been all my life, and I tried everything going but none of it worked. Fluoxetine, for me, is a magic bullet and I don't suffer any side effects from it either, so it's great. But I'm doing the keto diet for that reason and it definitely helps, I have loads more energy.

Original poster

Waytooearly · 07/08/2019 15:51

I took the motorway back. Jesus it was scary. Something about the multiple lanes, and over passes. Sort of being locked in a certain trajectory. And it's never bothered me before!

That's so ntetesting about menopause and anxiety. Thanks for the suggestions.

OP posts:

MrsIronfoundersson · 07/08/2019 16:29

Blimey! I've had this recently too (even when DH is driving and he's very safe) and never connected it to the menopause! Thank you all... will keep on with the ashwaganda.

Original poster

Waytooearly · 07/08/2019 16:40

Why do you all know about ashwaganda? This is the first I've heard of it. Lol

OP posts:

ChopinIn10Minuets · 07/08/2019 16:44

This is a bit random but - get your eyes checked by an optometrist. Sometimes anxiety can be set off by a subtle change in vision which alters your spatial perception and makes you feel disorientated, and in your 40s and 50s you may start to need glasses when you didn't before.

Richlyfruited · 07/08/2019 17:05

I go on the motorway almost every day to work but some days I get a terrific rush of anxiety in the car. No idea why ...some days driving feels much more difficult so it can just take one careless driver or a lorry pulling out suddenly to shake you up.

I'm determined to keep using the motorway so it doesn't turn into a full blown phobia. I can totally imagine feeling the way you do if I hadn't been on one for a few months. Hope you can get past it OP and interesting comments about the link to hormones/menopause above.

JMAngel1 · 07/08/2019 17:06

I know, perimenopause is the gift that keeps on giving! The strangest symptom I had was an acute fleeting pain in my throat like I'd swallowed a wasp - it was bonkers! My DIM supplement has sent it packing - it's a rare perimenopause symptom (I thought I had throat bloody cancer fgs)

Abstractedobstructed · 07/08/2019 17:22

Gosh this is weird - I have had a similar thing but not when I am driving, but as a passenger - I became positively dangerous over the last 3 or 4 years as I constantly imagined DH rolling the car when going too fast and killing the children. It was dreadful. Funnily enough tho I am still in peri (just 49) it has got quite a bit better - I have been low carbing for a year.

Fascinating thread!

flappi · 07/08/2019 17:25

I think u might need to discuss this with a doctor before it gets worse.

MrsIronfoundersson · 07/08/2019 17:34

Somebody in work recommended ashwaganda for bad sleeping and general anxiety so i am trying it out.

Ivegotthree · 07/08/2019 17:37

I get this sometimes. No reason. Am sure peri menopause gives you massive irrational anxiety.

Wonkybanana · 07/08/2019 18:53

At the risk of turning this into #metoo, yup, I had that as well. DP loves driving, does it a lot, doesn't go ridiculously fast but doesn't hang about, and has never had an accident that was his fault - once rear ended stationary at a roundabout that's all. But I'd be sitting in the front seat rigid with anxiety. He was going too fast round a bend, or was over the white line (or conversely was too close to the nearside and was going to clip it and roll us over), or another car was going to pull out and hit us. It was awful. Fortunately, now gone away thanks again to the fluoxetine, and he'll let me be a passenger again. I was making HIM nervous .

anascrecca · 07/08/2019 19:04

Any side effects with ashwagandha?

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread