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Original poster

Potty training!!!

69 replies

Fruityb · 07/08/2019 11:24

So I'm off for summer with my son (I'm a teacher) and we've been on holiday and now it's me and him for the next four weeks, save weekends. I have thought about trying to potty train while I'm off and thought now would be a good time. We bought pants, we keep talking about using the toilet or potty and saying it's time to be a big boy. My son is three in two weeks.

Up until now though he's shown no interest at all in going to the toilet. He says "I don't want to" quite strongly when potty is suggested and if you ask him he can get quite upset. I don't want to push the issue and upset him or make this a battle so haven't. My husband however is always on about it and saying he'll be in nappies forever if we don't do something about it yadda yadda. I'm pretty sure that in the next year he'll crack it before he starts school....

I made a thing this morning about not putting a nappy on and he chose his pants. And then promptly peed them. No fuss, clean up and left his pants off. Thought I'd try and leave him wild and free! He has so far peed three times on the carpet and once on the sofa. He has peed a lot and I read on the NHS site that if wees aren't an hour apart then it will likely not work. These wees all happened in about two hours. He has sat on the potty after he has done one and I've clapped and cheered, sitting on it is progress as he would not at all before, but obviously it's too late then. After spending four hours cleaning up piss and having a child who kept asking for a nappy and then refusing to put his clothes on I have just stuck a pull up on him and he's loads happier. I keep asking if he wants a wee and to tell me if he does.

He runs and hides if he needs a poo so he knows when he needs to do that. But he has never said he needed a wee ever and I just don't think I can push the issue just yet. His cousin is further on than he is and he's four months younger but he also has an older sister he can copy which I think helps. I'm not wrong in thinking that it's ok to not be potty trained by now or that it's not bad for him to not really be showing any signs of it yet? I've said he needs to try and keep his pull up dry and to tell me if he needs a wee but as he's never done that I'm not expecting the world today. I just don't want him to think this is a fight or upset him about it.

Any advice on this would be much appreciated - I haven't got a clue what I'm doing quite honestly! I have read that there are various sign posts and while I've seen a couple he just isn't telling me he needs a wee and I think that's likely pretty crucial. Our childminder will support us when we get there or when we need to; I just think we're trying too early.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fruityb · 14/08/2019 18:43

Oh I expect accidents absolutely - but today and yesterday we’ve had loads and not really had any at all in between.

OP posts:

yummychoccy · 14/08/2019 19:04

I think you're going to get days like that (and I know it's frustrating!) but you have to look at the general picture and keep persevering! I would reiterate how helpful I found the gentle potty training book was for ideas and reassurance that I was doing the right things!

Jellybeansincognito · 14/08/2019 20:25

Accidents are to be expected for the first few months?

No, that’s not potty training. That’s forcing when they’re not ready.

If they’re ready, they’ll go, if they’re not- they’ll wet themselves and develop a complex.
(4.5yo who has never pissed or shit herself) I didn’t see the rush, I didn’t push it, no complex and she has a good hold.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds 3-6 months old Babies & sleep Families

Orangepear · 14/08/2019 20:40

This is normal - he's been successful so is now experimenting with how it works, how long he can leave it and what happens.

yummychoccy · 14/08/2019 22:08

@Jellybeansincognito just because your kid has never had an accident doesn't mean this isn't the norm for other children.

Using a toilet/potty is a skill and there are going to be ups and downs for some children whilst they acquire that. As another poster said, they may experiment with how long they can hold it etc, or they may be particularly distracted or tired one day. Doesn't mean the child shouldn't continue to use the potty/toilet!

Accidents are part of the learning for most children (apart from the ones who just take to it faultlessly-but these are not the norm!).

Heartofglass12345 · 14/08/2019 23:49

He honestly doesn't sound ready. My son was 3 in November, he was toilet trained a few months ago. I tried about a year ago and he was weeing every 20-30 mins and I couldn't cope!
He started nursery at the end of november and they commented that his nappy was still dry at the end of his 3 hr session, and that was when I started getting him to sit on the toilet just to get used to it. He was scared of it at first and didn't want to, but I got him a star chart for the toilet door and it made a big difference for him, he used to get so excited getting a star. BUT he would only wee when I told him to, every 3-4 hours, it took him a few weeks to start telling me when he needed to go.
He was a bit longer getting used to doing a poo on the toilet, he would do it in his nappy before bed. I downloaded 'poo goes to poo land' which helped.
When he started regularly having dry nappies overnight I took them away at night.
He rarely has accidents now, and tells us when he needs to go.
Even though it took him a while to learn to tell us when he needed to go, it was much less stressful because he would go a few hours without going and would go before we went out etc
Sorry that was so long, hopefully there's something helpful in there!

Original poster

Fruityb · 15/08/2019 09:50

Thank you. He’s full on wet himself twice this morning so he’s in a pull up now. It’s like we’re back to day one and the novelty has worn off so he’s just back to full on peeing his pants. And I’m not mopping up piss every thirty minutes!! Too many accidents yesterday - almost as many as day one. It’s not working so I’m leaving it for now. He’s in a pull up and I’ll keep asking but I’m easing off. Mopping up piss constantly is not my idea of fun quite honestly. And he’s shat himself three times.

And I do expect accidents. So if he has them in future then fine. Full on full piss in his pants with no control - not happening however.

OP posts:

Jellybeansincognito · 15/08/2019 10:30

I’m glad op, I definitely think there’s a difference between having an accident in the first day or 2 of potty training and full on soiling yourself constantly- which isn’t good for them is it- it’s negative.

Naturally you must be frustrated every time you’re cleaning it up and no matter how much you try and mask it, they’ll still pick up on it.

You’re both doing well, it’s a start! It can only get better!

HeartvsHead · 15/08/2019 12:18

@Fruityb sorry to hear it hasn't worked out for you but sounds like you have given it a fair crack and made a sensible decision. A couple of months can make all the difference!

We seem to be more or less there. Only two wee accidents since Saturday and both were when she was running round like a loon and super distracted. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to start to relax and not be on high alert!!

HeartvsHead · 15/08/2019 12:20

@Fruityb enjoy the rest of your summer hols (piss and shit free! Or at least contained in a nappy!)

Original poster

Fruityb · 15/08/2019 15:17

That’s it - the odd accident was “ok whoops never mind let’s clean up”. This morning it was like “oh DS really??” I don’t tell him off but he’ll obviously be picking up on the irritation.

He did pee on potty and he also told me he needed a wee in the car on the way out and then somehow pissed through his pull up 🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s like the world is mocking me!!

I’ll ease off for now but still encourage potty and see how we go.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fruityb · 16/08/2019 20:12

No accidents today!! If nothing else my son is consistently inconsistent lol!

Well he pooped his pants this evening but I think he’s still a bit nervous about pooing in potty.

But it’s a huge improvement on yesterday and the day before! Wine!

OP posts:

Original poster

Fruityb · 19/08/2019 16:24

Thank you for the poo app recommendations - it’s worked a treat!

OP posts:

yummychoccy · 19/08/2019 18:47

That's great! I thought he sounded ready. Sounds like you're not having to shovel as much 💩 as you were,happy days!

HeartvsHead · 20/08/2019 13:25

@Fruityb glad things are improving! I feel I'm starting to relax a little bit more about it all how rather than feeling like I'm on high alert out and about. Starting to trust that she will tell me when she wants to go.

She had a poo and a wee (in the toilet!) at the coffee shop today and I've never been more proud! Things I never thought I'd say before kids 🤣

Original poster

Fruityb · 20/08/2019 15:59

Ds has been brilliant at telling me this last few days - we’re on three days and no accidents. He loves the reward chart I made him and is so proud of himself now.

I’ve stopped asking him as much! He tells me now.

OP posts:

HeartvsHead · 22/08/2019 08:09

My little one has only had one accident in the past few days (touch wood). We were out walking the dog and she didn't say anything just went. I asked her why she didn't tell me she needed to go to the toilet and her response was a deadpan 'there are no toilets'. We were in the middle of a field 🤣

Original poster

Fruityb · 22/08/2019 22:01

We’ve been out all day today and no accidents! I think I can confidently say my son is day trained (I think!) Reward chart has really helped. My friend also gave me a potette which has been a bloody godsend. He took a total shine to it and was using it with the liners (which could have proved expensive) and we moved it to the toilet. He’s now been on the toilet for the last three days and he did it really well today. It’s also awesome if you get caught short and needs using in a pub car park lol. It fits in my backpack for him too.

He’s pooped on the toilet as well which I’m so pleased about. It’s like they just get it all of a sudden isn’t it! He even asks for a wee in a morning when he’s still wearing his nappy. We’re calling his pull ups bed pants!

No rush on night times - that’ll come when he’s bigger I’m sure.

High five for us lol

OP posts:

OctopusNow · 22/08/2019 22:25

Well done you and DS, that's brilliant!

I'm getting nowhere with my DS, I don't think he knows when he's going to go, frequently poos in the bath and is surprised and upset as it is the end of bath time and he has to be showered.

He won't even tell me when he's done a poo in his nappy. Today I asked him and he said he had, I thought this was progress but when I checked, he hadn't, I'm so confused.

We have lots of books about potty training, have downloaded the pooland app, practiced sitting on the potty/little toilet seat but he hates it.

He's due to start preschool in September, I'm so stressed about it and worried he will be the only one in nappies.

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