Have you been in a relationship with a gamer ,and him change.

[Feelingwalkedover]

By that I mean ,he games in his spare time ,all the time when not in work.doesnt want to go anywhere or do anything except game.
If he’s 25 now could he change in time ,I sense an addiction,he works part time so has plenty of spare time.do they change with marriage and babies

Been with Dp since I was 19 and him 22 this was the cause of majority of our arguments.

He did grow out of the obsession so to speak around the age of 30, he can still play for hours on end in his free time but he prefers to socialise with the family these days

BIL doesn't have children, but he's a 45 yo unemployed gamer. It consumes his entire life. Christmas dinner was rushed last year so he could get home to stream himself playing.

I think it's possible to harness an addiction and treat it, but the addict has to recognise there's a problem and want to change it.

To the posters above and others in same situation ,Looking back on these men’s lives ,could anyone of done anything to stop it getting to this point? Was it bad as a child 9/10 ...did it get worse over time

I honestly think the person has to want to change and as with any addiction they probably need to hit rock bottom or have some other epiphany. You can't change someone else, you can however support someone who wants to change.

Parenting children is hard and you both need to be on the same page. I wouldn't waste my time being with someone who doesn't value similar things to me.

BIL has definitely got worse, I suspect it's because he has nothing to fill his time other than that.

He won't get a job, and if he's not gaming he's tinkering with his pushbike.

Honestly, its like he's stuck at the age of 17. Never grown up, never had to be responsible for anything, never worked.

I was 37 when I met my other half, gaming since 11 or so snd at 46 I still game most weekends.
He codes.
Gaming is not JUST a male thing!

Burnout babe sounds like your both on same page so it works for you

I suppose as well before they have to want to change ,they have to actually see the gaming as a problem.

Many gamers see the sheer amount of time they spend on the computer/console/tablet as a "victimless crime". It's really not, affecting family finances, time spent with children and time spent with OH. Fine in moderation but can be taken too far, in 2018 gaming generated more revenue than movies, tv, dvd/blu-ray and music combined and is expected to increase year on year.

It's impossible to help someone who doesn't want to be helped, and they have to make the first moves.

Tell me how people could of helped curb it when younger

Are you writing an article op?

Your questions seem very odd, if it's your partner who's gaming then how can it help now to know if he could've been helped when he was younger?

If you're not into gaming, and he can't come away from the computer at agreed times for socialisation in person then I suspect the relationship won't go anywhere OP.

My husband is a gamer, he loves his computer games (admittedly I too am a gamer but to a lesser degree). He can play for hours online with his friends. BUT he only games after our small (under 7) kids are in bed, is a wonderful hands on father, and has no trouble coming away from the computer to do things with me.

There are levels and degrees of it. Gaming in itself is not a bad thing, it can be a social hobby and hones problem solving skills as coordination. What IS a bad thing is unmanaged addiction, which it sounds like your partner may have.

My OH was a complete addict when he was 18 ignoring me playing from the moment he woke up not eating properly. Hes now 27 and only plays it occasionally. I do think you can grow out of it

yes- I was - note the was- with one a gamer - table-top and a truly insane of computer games -

part of the reason it finished was because he never wanted to go out and do anything when he wasn't at work or at uni- just game, at the expense of us seeing friends - he used to want me to stay in and watch him- boring as f**k -

He wouldn't/Couldn't change, and it massively contributed to the break up - id say cut your losses while you're ahead or he'll chose gaming over the children and you and family time, and if the addiction gets worse- work and other adult responsibilities.

Why is he working part-time? That not only gives him more time to game, it makes him dependent on others for living costs and limits any social activities he can do.

My partner is a gamer, he was a gamer when we met when he was in his late twenties and is still a gamer now at nearly 40 and I've never expected him to change.

My husband and I met through our mutual love of gaming. We both know when it's too much and communicate this effectively and have rarely fought over it (other than who was getting on the PlayStation 4 first! Ended up getting my own one instead!)

We have our first child on the way and understand that she is priority, but we will still dip in and out of our hobby with the full understanding she comes first above everything. Gaming and other hobbies will take a back seat where she is concerned.

Communication in this aspect is vital, both parties need to understand what's important and what's not. Gaming should only be more than a hobby if it's your main source of income (e-sports for example) and it really should not eat into your relationship in a negative way.

If he is choosing gaming over other important aspects of the relationship, I wouldn't invest the time and energy trying to change him, because it sounds like a one sided battle.

Thanks for the replies,stupidly I forgot to name change first ,so I can’t go in to detail..definitely not writing an article,this is my life