Rekindle a friendship or not?

[GeorgiaC123]

Hey all
I would really appreciate your advice.
So pre baby (20months old), I was close friends with a girl for about 5 years. She was always a canceller but we always supported eachother through things.
Anyway after I had my baby, the cancelling bugged me more as I'm sure you can imagine, I got excited at the thought of drinks and socialising out and it was the cancelling last minute that bugged me. So following getting angry and annoyed, I really distanced myself from her and didn't engage with her anymore as it had happened a lot and I was dealing with a lot of my own issues that I'd never had a chance to share with her.
So over the next 4 months, we really didn't text much and if we did, she had text me first.
So we haven't been in contact since January this year and I've been thinking about her quite a lot recently and just wondering how she's doing. I've seen today that she's split from her husband of nearly 2 years and I've been urged to text her to see if she's okay. As much as her cancelling annoyed me when I was a new mum, I still miss her and worry that she's okay.

I'm torn there as I feel some guilt over not conversing with her or engaging with her first and I'm sure that annoyed her too as she hasn't reconnected with me either (not that I gave any incentive to), but at the time I felt it was the right thing to do as my time was being wasted makin plans that wouldn't happen and she would definitely stick to plans if she had some drama she needed help with.

So anyway, my ask is should I forget about it and love on (I would hate for her to think I've got in contact for some gossip, which i don't think she would as I like to think I'm not that kind of person and she knows Id do anything to help) or try to rekindle with the friendship with an introductory text like "I know we've grown apart but I've been thinking about you quite a bit recently and hope that you're okay)

If appreciate some views on what's best to do.

It’s a tricky one. Sometimes friendships just run their course..but do you think issues in the relationship might have been the reason she cancelled? I know someone in a similar situation and she’s know able to rekindle friendships where her ex had basically isolated her. If you suspect the latter, go for it. If she was always flaky, leave it.

Thank you for getting back to me flakeinfinity. I wish I could say there were issues that made her always cancel but unfortunately she always was flaky in the years that I've know Her. Quite unreliable and as much as I loved her as a friend and care for her wellbeing, I never trusted that we would meet when she said as she regularly cancelled (not always) but she was known for it and I dont expect that would change if I was completely honest so it would be a negative I'd have to put up with again. (or hoped that it would change)

I had a very similar situation to this - I got back in touch. She was still a flake so I let it die out. A couple of years later her mum died and I wanted to contact her.

I had to have a big think about why I wanted to contact her. I thought about why the friendship ended, and the reasons for that were still valid. It was a misplaced sense of wanting to be the bigger person, to be 'good'.

If you hadn't heard about the split you wouldn't feel you needed to contact her.

The friendship was not good and now it's over. Leave it in the past where it belongs.

Thank you Weezol, you speak so much sense and are completely right! My wanting to be there to help is overriding what thebrelationship was and would be like, I wouldn't gain anything more from it. Thank you for your time and your wise words, it is greatly appreciated