I'd be interested in opinions from anyone who has had PND.
I had it, severely, with my first DC. I had suicide attempts, some half hearted, one serious. I had medication and weekly counselling, special HV etc. I tried to run away several times etc etc
When I watched the Louis Theroux programme about the mother and baby unit I was shocked that I was at the same level of illness as the women in there. I don't know how I didn't end up in a unit, I probably should have been.
So, to my question. I don't think I'm a very good mum. I say this impartially and after much reflection. I lose my temper quickly, I have minimal patience. I need time away/alone from the kids. I don't hugely enjoying playing with them.
Sure, I do all the expected things but my heart isn't 100% in it. I love them, care for them, worry about them. But I know that I'm not a very good parent when I compare to friends, or to my DH.
Do you think this is because of PND, that it still had a shadow on me/my parenting today, or is this just me as a person; doing my best but not really a 'natural' mother?
Thank you for reading and any thoughts!