How do you define alcoholism?

[MariaVonBratt]

Just curious really.

Alcoholism is a touchy topic on MN. There are a lot of people who seem to think anyone who drinks often has a problem and I don't agree but I do think I probably overdo it. I can polish off a bottle wine 3-4 nights a week, sometimes more. I do it because I enjoy it but if there is a reason I can't drink (driving somewhere, busy, unwell) it's not a problem to me. I compare it to eating too much chocolate - it's not good for my heath and I try to diet but I enjoy it so I keep coming back.

In my view addiction is categorised by behaviour and dependence not volume. What do you think?

Following the latest post from op I feel like I'd be doing their assignment for them instead of helping them with their drinking issues.

That's a strange comment @AllSweetnessAndLight - just trying to gauge opinions and experience

Maybe I do have more of an issue than I thought. As a habitual drinker who likes drinking I'm just curious as to what people to deem to be too much and the benefits people who have quit drinking have discovered.

If your drinking is upsetting you or your friends and family and you are unwilling or unable to change consumption levels

I'm not sure being able to give up for a month (or any length of time) is a gauge of whether someone has a problem or not.
I definitely drink too much but can always give up for a challenge like dry January.
My sister, on the other hand, drinks at the most one beer a week, but if you told her to go without for a month she couldn't. That's just her personality - nothing to do with dependency - it's will power and obstinacy. She couldn't give up chocolate, tv or gossiping either 😂.

I am an Alcoholic,been sober over 16years now,people have wrong ideas of what an Alcoholic is,I certainly did.Took me years to accept it.

There are 20questions you can answer online,if you Google it will come up.

It isn't that strange considering you want people to take the time to list the benefits of not binge drinking. A pp has given you the NHS links. If you doubt the answer: Continue to drink the same as before, go to your GP and ask for a liver function test. You have to own your behaviour and responsibility. You will continue to binge drink. Tbh it wouldn't be anyone else's business, if you didn't have children in a home with two parents who regularly binge drink and refuse to change their habits because it would impact on their social life. Your excuses indicate the behaviour of a functioning alcoholic. It's your choice, you decide. FWIW there is nothing trendy about alcoholism or being an alcoholic, it is tragic and sad.

@AllSweetnessAndLight 😂😂😂 crikey that is a LOT of assumptions in one post. Where have I mentioned my dp's drinking or our social habits. Very very strange indeed.

I'm perfectly capable of googling NHS articles regarding drinking but it's always nice to get first hand experience and accounts from others. With this being MN there are sadly always posters like yourself who choose to turn it into a superiority fest and make wild assumptions based on nothing. I don't think there is anything clever or trendy about drinking. I also don't think it's tragic or sad.

I'm also interested as to where I've made any excuses? I've been honest and candid about my habits and my uncertainty as to whether I perhaps do have a developing dependence. I literally began this thread to start a dialogue about it in a sensible grown up way, it's so sad that people have to turn it nasty and personal

Dependency or issues with health or behaviour.
Some people drink a lot more than others and have no problems. I like a glass of wine or a beer whilst watching a film once every few weeks... my parents can easily finish a bottle of wine each at dinner several times a week. But thier behaviour is not effected by it and they are in perfect health so although it's not what I would do I dont class it as alcoholism.
There are people I know who could drink less than a bottle of wine and be an absolute mess and cause massive issues for themselves with their behaviour. Drink can effect some people really badly even in small amounts and I would class that as alcoholism.

@Krisskrosskiss I think that's the main reason that I don't think volume can be classed as a variable in alcoholism. I have friends who would be leathered and then hungover the next day if they drink a bottle of wine whereas for me I feel nothing but a slight relaxed buzz and can get up at 6am and feel normal. I guess if your intake of alcohol (at whatever volume) causes problems for yourself or others then it becomes an issue...

I think for most alcoholics it is not being able to stop once you start. That may be to varying degrees of course. You could go a fortnight without booze but once you've had that first sip of wine all bets are off. In my case once I'd started drinking in the evening or even after a glass at lunch, I would then end up drinking to blackout most of the time. If I could remember going to bed/getting home it was like a mini victory.

The volume is kind of irrelevant as peoples tolerances/needs vary so much.

Of course some peoples alcoholism progresses past this stage into round-the-clock drinking but this doesn't necessarily happen to all.

Certainly in my experience at AA there is mainly a mixture of these two drinking styles . I am speaking in very general terms though and there will be lots of variations in between!

I think a bigger test as to whether you have a problem is therefore whether you can have just one glass of wine and put the top back on. Complete abstinence is far easier than having just the one.

I dont think volume can no, unless its effecting your health. But if you are unhappy with the level you are drinking at it might be wise to cut back...
I am biased though because I dont drink a lot. I watch what my parents drink and am amazed how they are still fine the next day etc... I'd not be!
That you are here asking the question though suggests you are a little worried about how much you drink?

I do worry a bit from a health point of view and because it's probably making me put on weight. But otherwise it doesn't cause problems for me. I drink at home in the evening, I relax, I go to bed and then I'm up for work the next day. It's not like I'm out fighting or harming myself or making problems for myself iyswim.

But health and weight issues are problems within themselves I guess!

I really wasn't expecting advice that is personal to my situation, more just a discussion about other people's views and experience

The drinks industry works very hard to normalise the consumption of alcohol, it’s so intrinsically linked with fun, relaxation, treats, special occasions, celebrations, holidays.
My DH can’t drink anymore and you’d be amazed at the pressure he comes under to just have one. He ordered an orange juice last week and the server asked if he’d like a vodka in it, My DH just smiled and shook his head. People put drinks in his hands at parties, his parents always forget and offer him wine, or are disappointed if he refuses fizz at Christmas. It’s bloody hard. He’d love a drink, would be delighted to be the last to leave the party after tequila, Flaming sambucas, just one more bottle of wine, downing a pint while he waited. Alcoholism is horrible.

I consider it (or indeed anything) an addiction when you put it ahead of important relationships.

I’m addicted to chocolate. I often eat it instead of meals, knowing that it’s unhealthy, gives me mood swings that impact on my relationship with my children, and that with a family history of diabetes I am probably shortening my life and the quality of my life.

I can not eat it if I choose, and I’ve often given it up for months at a time. It takes tremendous willpower. But one chocolate biscuit for the sake of politeness and I tumble back in. Being able to resist is only illusory control for me.

I don’t drink alcohol at all, and haven’t for nearly 20 years, because I don’t want to play out this pattern with alcohol (or drugs) I consider myself a sober alcoholic.

I really don’t feel qualified to comment on how other people drink and what that means. I really don’t know.

Tbh most serious alcoholics I know can give up for dry January!
A month without booze isn’t hard for the alcoholics I know. But tell them to only drink 3 nights a week or only drink 1 bottle of wine at lunch is something they’re unable to do.

Most people with a healthy relationship with booze can take it or leave it. But do enjoy it.

I smoked and it was much more habit than addiction, I just gave up one day and thought I can’t be arsed to smoke anymore. And I actually wouldn’t worry about myself if I had the odd cigarette. I wasn’t addicted.

I feel similar about alcohol. Though I am perhaps less scared of the damage it does. Perhaps there needs to be a lot more scary advertising about it.

There are a lot of good online questionnaires that will give you an idea of whether you are dependent or not. I used to drink almost at the level you do - then I had two realisations: that my OH was actually an alcoholic (he was on about 100 units a week) and that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol because I drank purely out of habit.

So I stopped for a month, found it a piece of cake, felt loads better and completely reset my relationship with alcohol. These days I drink very little, enjoy it when I do and enjoy the benefits of not drinking when I don't. It's worth finding out whether you have a dependency or whether you are just trashing your health, and then acting on that.

You mention your bottle of wine on Friday bring a treat. How can it be a treat if you are doing it 3-4 times per week?

I've just returned from an AA meeting and this is often discussed because essentially there's no one simple definition. I've been in AA over 11 years and have friends there who range from Friday/Saturday night drinkers, to those who lost absolutely everything (home, family, sanity) because of alcohol - and the majority who fit somewhere in between. What seems to differentiate an alcoholic from a heavy drinker is the inability to stop once you start which is why we go to any lengths not to have the first drink - and the saying that one drink is too many and a thousand not enough.

I knew really a long time ago that I had a problem with alcohol although at the time I rarely drank - it was the consequences when I did. The loss of control and the tendency to drink to oblivion. But I've also known heavy drinkers, whom I wouldn't class as alcoholics even though they might drink a similar volume - it's the way in which they drink.

I really wasn't expecting advice that is personal to my situation, more just a discussion about other people's views and experience

People who have substance misuse problems just LOVE to have theoretical debates about definitions and to justify their own choices.

“ Well it’s just like an extra chocolate biscuit and we all do that “.

Anything to distract from what they are actually drinking.

You can argue all you like that you are posh ( not like these people in the gutter ) and still functioning ( not like these people in the gutter). But it’s all just hot air until you address your own drinking.

I have friends who would be leathered and then hungover the next day if they drink a bottle of wine whereas for me I feel nothing but a slight relaxed buzz and can get up at 6am and feel normal

I’m not sure why you think that your higher tolerance to alcohol is a good thing. You might think about resetting it, for the sake of your health.

www.drinkaware.co.uk/advice/how-to-reduce-your-drinking/how-to-cut-down/how-to-take-a-break-and-reset-your-tolerance/

I'm not posh. I probably am unhealthy. Thanks for your helpful comments @M0RVEN

I used to drink friday-sunday only, but honestly the evidence is that it's just no good for you. Since quiting (and i drank less than 14 units a week) I am calmer, I think more clearly , I have lower chloesterol, I run fadter, I have had 2 promotions at work and for me most importantly I am setting a good example.to my teens.

I run faster

I’d probably be better not to post, but I do drink during the week but at a much lower level than the OP, however I am aware of how much weight I’d put on if I drank more. So that’s my main reason to not drink, bad one I know

@MariaVonBratt I am not being superior. You asked for people's comments. Imo it's sad and tragic because alcoholism ruins lives. Not just the life of the addict but their children, loved ones, those close to that person. I have seen so many people's lives impacted by alcoholism. Decent people who are trapped in addiction and in denial. My post wasn't meant to be nasty or personal. I don't know you so I'm giving my pov from the outside. I'm sure most people started out having fun and don't envisage becoming addicted but at some point they cross the line. You say you want to cut back and you're worried about your health. It's your chance to make positive changes. There are organisations who can help you but it is up to you to ask for help. I wish you the best with it.