Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How do I broach this with smear nurse?

42 replies

Hidingtonothing · 06/08/2019 01:17

My smear is 2 years overdue and it's taken me this long to pluck up the courage to go, it's booked for Thursday. I had a really bad experience with the practice nurse at my previous surgery but had been quite happily (well sort of!) going to my local family planning clinic until they closed it, this will be my first smear with a practice nurse since the bad one.

Is just saying I'm nervous enough? It really matters that this goes well because I know I won't be able to go back if it doesn't and there is nowhere else. I don't want her to think I'm tarring all practice nurses with the same brush but at the same time I am worried the same thing will happen again.

I know it's not fully rational but I always felt reassured that the FPC nurses did the same thing day in day out so they knew what they were doing, and that was backed up by my experience, I've never had such quick, easy smears. So I'm trying to figure out how much or how little to say, feel like there's quite a lot resting on it.

OP posts:
QueenOfPain · 06/08/2019 01:19

I think you’ll probably find the practice nurse does it day in day out too, so I wouldn’t worry about that.

If you’re really nervous perhaps ring the surgery and explain that get them to book a double slot for it.

Isadora2007 · 06/08/2019 01:20

I would say “I am very nervous about this smear test because I previously had a horrible experience during one. Can we please agree that you will stop any time if I say- or raise my hand- or similar?”

Good luck- I am sure that the previous experience was an unfortunate one and this nurse will be more professional and caring for you. And I would hope that if you speak to her beforehand about it she’d be extra careful.

BadTimesAtTheElRoyale · 06/08/2019 01:24

When you get in there explain that you had a very upsetting experience previously and could they please explain every step and if you feel uncomfortable you will let them know and they will stop. Usual precise in my experience is that they will ask you to let them know.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General health Women's health
Original poster
Hidingtonothing · 06/08/2019 01:40

Tbh what I need most from them is to be quick and efficient Blush The bad experience I had was with a nurse who seemed to move in slow motion, had no equipment prepared and left me lying there with a speculum already inserted (felt like it was pulling my insides out after a couple of minutes) for ages while she fetched it all and then proceeded to scrub at my cervix so hard and for so long it bled, it was excruciating.

I'm really torn between telling her everything so she understands or just telling her I need her to be quick and hoping she's not offended! I don't really want to rehash it all but I also don't want her to think I'm a stroppy, demanding arsehole Smile

OP posts:
bellabelly · 06/08/2019 01:41

I had mine done recently, was about 7 years overdue... Like you, have had some bad experiences in the past. I was totally upfront, told the nurse that I was very nervous. I won't lie, it was tricky due to my shy cervix playing hide and seek... But we got there in the end and I waw delighted to get an all OK letter soon after. Do it for your peace of mind and let the nurse know that you are anxious.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 06/08/2019 01:54

I know smears are absolutely horrible, but you know they're doing this for YOU not them, right?

You're not doing this as a favour to them, they're doing it to potentially save your life. I hate them too... the thought makes me wince in my parts and double up. But I don't want to die from something preventable and curable. I don't really want to die at all. But if I have to, I'd rather it was from something outside my control.

ginghamtablecloths · 06/08/2019 01:59

You should say something because then she could use a smaller speculum which will be more comfortable. Say you had a bad experience last time without going into specifics.

snitzelvoncrumb · 06/08/2019 02:00

I would be honest and explain how you feel and why. This gives the nurse a chance to reassure you, and you a chance to see the nurses bedside manner, before it starts, and you the option of deciding not to get it done.

Original poster
Hidingtonothing · 06/08/2019 02:10

I do know that Red, and I know it could save my life, I just need a plan for what to say so I feel prepared and don't just blurt out utter nonsense Blush Knowing me I will either embarrass myself by getting teary or come across really snappy and rude if I'm not clear in my mind what I want to say.

Above all I really want to come away feeling as positive as possible about the experience so I'm not put off going back next time, as I said it's the only option now in my area so it matters if it goes badly. I get that it's for me not them but I'm also a rape survivor and suffered fairly extensive birth trauma so it was already a big hurdle for me even without the bad smear. I just wish they hadn't closed the FPC where I already felt comfortable Sad

OP posts:
StoppinBy · 06/08/2019 02:23

I would just say 'Hi, thank you for doing my test today. I just want to let you know before we start that I have had a really bad experience with pap smears in the past so am pretty nervous about getting this done' if they are a half decent person (which I am sure they will be!) then they will understand and be extra careful with you.

BlackCatSleeping · 06/08/2019 02:45

I think it's a good idea to explain to the nurse beforehand that you had a bad experience last time so are nervous.

I had a bad dental experience, so explained to my new dentist that I was a nervous patient, so she takes a little more care with me.

I really can't understand what point Red is making. I've never had a problem with smears, so don't find them uncomfortable at all. My mum has a needle-phobia, so her nurse uses distraction techniques and keeps her calm. Any good medical practitioner should understand that different patients have different needs.

Well done on plucking up the courage to go, OP!!

Mummaofmytribe · 06/08/2019 03:03

Definitely explain. I had a terrible experience and when I eventually forced myself to go again, I asked my GP to recommend who to book with.
I told them my sob story and they were brilliant.
I still hated it but it was absolutely nothing like as bad because they were quick, gentle and supportive as I was really (embarrassingly) honest about my fears.

Hollyhobbi · 06/08/2019 03:16

It's normal to have a bit of spotting afterwards because they take tissue samples.

Original poster
Hidingtonothing · 06/08/2019 03:25

I think that is what I'm going to do Mumma, tell them exactly what I need and why, embarrassing though it is. If I just say I'm nervous she'll probably do everything slowly and explain it all and that's actually the opposite of what I need. I just need her to have everything ready and get it over with as quick as possible.

Thank you everyone for helping me figure it out, wish me luck Smile

OP posts:
MoominKitty · 06/08/2019 03:29

My first was horrible, slow, painful, and I was made to feel stupid when I mentioned the pain. Nurse fucked it up so had to re book for a week's time and saw a different nurse. I explained what happened and said I was nervous and she was lovely. Def explain the situation as the nurse will really try to make sure your comfortable.

Original poster
Hidingtonothing · 06/08/2019 03:29

Yeah this wasn't spotting Holly, she literally scrubbed at my cervix for several times as long as it's ever taken anyone else to get a sample, it felt like she was burning me and I bled quite a bit for days afterwards. I'm 44 so have had plenty of smears in my time, this was nothing like normal and I really should have complained.

OP posts:
Sandybval · 06/08/2019 03:50

I would just say that youre nervous, I wouldn't launch into the fact that a practice nurse have you a painful one etc, perhaps mention that your past experience involved waiting for a while with the speculum in which you found very uncomfortable though if you think that'll help. As you found them okay at the clinic I am sure you will be fine :)

Sandybval · 06/08/2019 03:51

Would painkillers beforehand help if you find the sample taking uncomfortable?

cantfindname · 06/08/2019 04:26

A little story to make you smile and maybe take your mind off it.

Friend is a practice nurse and does dozens of smears each week. She is a lovely kind person so when she had a 'first-timer' she carefully explained the procedure and showed her the speculum and how it worked. New patient gave a sort of sneery laugh and went 'Gawds sake luv, I've had much bigger than that up my fanny'

Friend had no reply.

Aqueo517 · 06/08/2019 06:46

Definitely tell her exactly what happened, that does sound horrible! Ever smear I’ve ever had has always been really quick! She’ll be really understanding. I’m sure it’ll go well for you.

Applesandpears23 · 06/08/2019 07:08

I always say I am nervous and you can tell what kind of person you are dealing with by how they respond to that statement. I think telling her what you need is a good plan.

Disfordarkchocolate · 06/08/2019 07:15

I would offer a brief explanation, they still have to let you know what they are doing though to be sure they have informed consent. Good luck. Now they have LBC and a plastic brush it should be quick and pain-free for the vast majority of women.

SingingLily · 06/08/2019 07:37

I had to do precisely that, OP - explain that I was very very nervous because of my last experience (the pain was excruciating and I nearly passed out). The nurse responded superbly. She did everything she could to make it as easy as possible and told me that it was far better for her to know. Good luck on Thursday. I'm sure it will be fine.

Doesn't stop me from wanting to scream at every smug woman who tosses her head, gives a tinkly little laugh and says "Smears? They might be a little bit uncomfortable but there's nothing to them", though! Every woman's experience is different Confused

CupoTeap · 06/08/2019 07:40

@cantfindname 

@Hidingtonothing defo explain. I had a massive gap due to nerves and found it not as bad as I remembered, I wonder if the 'tool' had changed.

CupoTeap · 08/08/2019 06:42

Good luck!

Swipe left for the next trending thread