Is my husband lying about our debts

[chefclaire]

For the last few days alarm bells have been ringing in my head and I just don’t know if I am over reacting. My husband has been getting a lot of phone calls that he won’t answer he keeps telling me their just PPI rubbish but I’ve noticed he now keeps his phone on silence, he has also changed his password on his phone. This week our mortgage payment bounced when I spoke to him he said he’d paid it, when I checked a few days later it’s still unpaid he now says the money has been lost in transfer ?. His card got declined when we were out the other day. Tonight I found a load of in opened letters so I opened one and discovered he’s in arrears with a credit card with nearly £12k of debt. I’ve tried several times to talk calmly about it and he just gives me excuses which I don’t believe. Tonight I tried again and he got really angry with me he doesn’t know yet I’ve opened one of his bills. I really don’t know what to do I can’t afford to pay he half of the mortgage any advice please

If you have a barclaycard, your free Experian credit score is on there. It sounds like gambling to me.
As awful as it is, OP, try to find out as much as you can so younknow what you are dealing with. Your emotions towards him may need to be held off whilst you untangle what has been going on.

I also really recommend Stepchange. I don't have any personal experience with them but they have really helped my parents. My mum got into a lot of debt and kept it from my dad. She was racking up debt and the problem spiraled although it was more to the tune of 60 grand. Stepchange basically stopped them from losing everything. She now pays a very small amont a month and has a yearly phonecall where they go through her income and expenditure and work out whether she can pay more.

Have you checked your credit scores?

He needs to face up to this now before it gets serious and your home is repossessed.

Another person echoing how lucky we are to have Step Change close at hand - please do get in touch with them for advice. He (or both of you dependent on the debt that is owed) needs to consolidate into manageable monthly payments.

People always make you think otherwise but they would rather you definitely pay off a smaller amount per month than chase you through the court for the total when you can't afford it.

Good luck OP sorry I know it's so scary having debt, let alone one you had no idea about and didn't contribute to. Hope all ends up ok