Has anyone volunteered to be their own child’s 1:1 at school?

[PinkyU]

Some background:

My dd is autistic and going into yr2 in mainstream school. She is in nappies full time, has significant social communication difficulties though is verbal (ie she can ask or answer a question but can’t have a back and forth conversation without significant support, especially with children), she has sensory processing difficulties which means she struggles with being touched, wears ear defenders, has a number of physical stims to cope in class. She also has a physical disability which impacts her movement, so things like writing, eating, getting changed etc take her considerably longer (1.5 hours to eat a sandwich for example). Despite all of these difficulties she is doing extremely well academically (other than writing) and is working 4 YEARS ahead in maths and literacy (I’m beyond proud).

She has not had much if any support in class at all, she has her nappy changed twice a day by any available staff member, meaning she has anything upto 15 different people, who she may or may not know, managing her intimate care. Often she has leaks and I need to go collect her to change her, but due to her difficulty in transitions she often doesn’t go back to school after as she is distressed by the change in routine.

She is supposed to be supported to use the toilet by being sat on it for 5 minutes at regular intervals, which the school say they can’t support due to staffing. So this doesn’t happen.

She is supposed to receive meds (not life saving, but necessary for pain and unknown allergies) but regularly comes home not having had them (she can tell me if asked but can’t reliably be responsible for asking staff for them)

Her stims include self injurious behaviours such has repeated skin rubbing that results in blisters and sores. She is supposed to be observed and redirected when engaging in this behaviour, but frequently comes out of school blistered and scabbed. I appreciate that 1 class teacher just can’t give the supervision my dd required whilst teaching an entire class and the school don’t have enough TA’s to help with the supervision.

So, if you’ve managed to stay with me through that, I’m thinking of offering the school to volunteer as my dd’s 1:1 in order to provide the support she needs that the school aren’t able to give. Has anyone done this, who’s did it work? It’d basically be like becoming a full time employee but not really a member of staff, does it make relationships feel strained at parents evening etc?

(The part of the country we live in make it practically impossible to qualify for an ehcp, we’ve tried)

The school does not need your DD to have an EHCP in order to qualify for additional funding- this should be applied for by the SENDCO annually. Please make sure that your school is aware of this, or at least make sure they understand that you know it! I also live in a part of the country where EHCPs are like gold-dust.

Personally, I’m not sure how she would deal with the transition from you as ‘mum’ to you as ‘1:1’. Would it be an issue?

Also I’d expect a person in this role to provide support to a group in order to help with the social skills your DD needs to be taught explicitly and to rehearse with adult guidance. Would you be ok with this expectation or is it not something you’d be happy to do?

Please don’t think I’m being negative- just points to consider. I employ several parents as 1:1 at my school (I’m a SENDCO) but not with their own DC- although I understand your question is a bit different.

How far into the EHCP process have you got? How on earth can she not qualify for one? Have you got your councillor and MP involved?

As a teacher I would feel awkward if a parent was there permanently in the classroom. We often have parent helpers but not full time and not parents from the same class.

Keep fighting the ehc.

Get a proper care plan in place for meds and nappies from the school nurse.

I don’t think any school would let a parent stay in as a 1-1 and I don’t think It would do your daughter any good either

In my setting we would not consider this. There are TAs (and teachers) who are parents, but they are not allowed to be in class with their own DC.

It would cause untold issues around line-management, confidentiality around case reviews for other DC etc. It would also have a very negative impact on a child’s capacity for independence.

You do need proper support for your DD, but this is not the answer.

Your DD really does need support in school.
Have you applied for an EHCP or have you been put off by being told your DD won’t qualify. So much of what you’ve written shows that your DDs needs aren’t being met, yes she’s doing amazingly academically but being failed in all other ways.
Also as already stated funding for a 1-1 can be accessed without an EHCP.

I don’t think being your child’s 1-1 would be fair on either of you but can understand why it seems the solution. School need to give her the help she needs.

I understand why you’d want to do this, but this isn’t a great idea. The school would have to advertise and appoint you, you can’t just volunteer I’m afraid. The other aspect of this is that you’d be doing things that school should be doing. If your dad has such a high level of need then she should have an EHCP. As a Senco I’d be shouting from the rooftops and making damn sure she got one with that level of need. Contact Sendiass to get some good advice on what school should provide .

I would request a meeting with the school and be really clear what support your DD requires and whether they are able to support her. If the school won't provide the correct level of support (clearly they aren't at the moment) are there any other schools locally that you could look at?

I'm not sure if they would allow you to provide 1:1 care in the classroom but you could always ask.

Have you considered homeschooling? There are plenty of opportunities to mix with other children but you could be more flexible on how you structure your time.

My son has had a 1-1 since he was 8. He’s now left school and will have 1 at college.

At no point has it been/will it be me!

I have to agree op, it is horrible when your dd isn’t being adequately supported but you need different solutions. Apart from anything else, you need a break from caring 24/7

OP, what do you mean when you say you can’t get an EHCP because of the part of the country where you live? I’ve never heard of that.

Despite all of these difficulties she is doing extremely well academically (other than writing) and is working 4 YEARS ahead in maths and literacy (I’m beyond proud).

Working at Year 5 level- how was that assessed? Reading is comprehension based and requires written answers.

To clarify I was asking as I assume that is linked to no EHCP

Lots of LAs have detached funding- so you don't need an EHCP to get funding.

Really suprised your Dd doesn't have an ehcp with what you have written to be honest ridiculous you have been refused!

Blooming, it is not necessary to write to assess comprehension. In the Y6 reading paper it is completely fine for the paper to be fully scribed as long as that is standard practice for the pupil.

However, to be at Y5 standard does require significant feats of inference, along with things like the ability to explain how an author’s choice of language and tone impacts on the reader, which is at odds with a Y1 with very significant social communication difficulties.

Possibly OP means her DD has a reading age of 10ish, which is just about decoding ability.

Don't do it, your DD needs to have some space without you. And if you do it (supposing the school is happy for you to do it), then they have no incentive to employ a TA for your DD or to push for her to get an EHC plan.