Really not coping with my toddler today

[JoiningUpTheDots]

I am sobbing my eyes out whilst DS watches cartoons. I’ve been a horrible mum today, I’m sleep deprived and pregnant and struggling to cope. I keep losing my rag and can’t stop crying. I feel utterly overwhelmed and just want to escape.

I’ve yelled at my toddler several times today. I was getting through the morning with the knowledge that I could take a breather whilst he napped at lunchtime but he woke up after40 minutes and wouldn’t go back to sleep. I feel completely out of control today and very alone.

Hey, it happens. Will he nap if you walk him in his pram? Otherwise get out to the nearest park/field/wherever he can run around, bribe him with rice cakes etc if he's the bribeable sort, bit of TV and just get through the day.

Oh no I feel your pain! I've just bought a bowl of dried pasta in and and a box and cut little
Holes in the box and he's been entertained poking the pasta through for ages- it's worth a shot for 40 minutes peace!

You're a great mum for caring. How long do you have left of current pregnancy? Be kind to yourself it's hard work growing another human

We have all been there. Hes happy with his cartoons. Give him a snack and a drink. Get yourself some kind of sugary treat.

Get out of the house as if your life depended on if! Park, field, soft play, anywhere he can run around and you don't have to be directly interacting with him every second of every minute.

We have all been there - you are not a bad mum for shouting, just take a step back and change the scenery.

Wow, thank you for the lovely replies. I was expecting to get slated. I can’t seem to stop crying at the moment. DS is thankfully engrossed in the cartoons at the moment but has seen me cry a lot today, I feel very ashamed. I must have frightened and confused him with all my crying and shouting today, it’s really not fair.

I am only a couple of months pregnant and really don’t want to be right now. I feel so trapped despite this pregnancy being planned (I wrongly thought I could cope).

DS unfortunately won’t nap in the pushchair now because even though he’s only slept a little he just won’t be tired enough to drop off, at least not for a few hours by which time it’ll be too close to bedtime for him to nap. I’ll just have to push on through I guess. I really don’t feel cut out to be a mum.

I could’ve wrote this post OP.

Pregnant with a toddler and I’m feeling soooo drained out of my life. I really can’t cope today. Want to sleep so bad

@IABUQueen really sorry to hear you’re struggling too. I am exhausted and have been for weeks but have just totally and utterly lost it today. Now I feel very ashamed and scared that I can’t seem to cope with things. Worried I’ve really upset my DS

Tell yourself 'I'm having a bad day, and hate ok!' It happens. Your toddler will be fine, just explain mummy is tired.
Do what you have to do today in terms of screen time, treats etc and start again tomorrow. If you can could you get out somewhere where you can sit (small soft play?) friends house with toddler maybe? Or even just out for cake and hot chocolate at a cafe to pass an hour or 2.
Mostly: take it easy on yourself. You have nothing to feel ashamed about, you're coping with growing a human and coping with another completely dependant one. Keep going and tomorrow is another day.

Hey, I was very pregnant last summer in that god awful heat with a two year old. It was so hard. Hardest few months of my life.

You can do it. Deep breaths if you feel ragey, have a cry if you needs Just push through and take as much support from anyone you can whenever you can.

39+3 I've had so many of those days! It's really tough at that age because they are so full of beans and mischief!!

My advise is to have something small planned for your toddler everyday to keep him occupied so you can have a little sit down if he doesn't nap then atleast you have had a sit down and cup of tea.
So lego, building blocks, playdough, colouring, stickers (winner), painting, games or toys in the garden, books, indoor tent etc etc be creative. Pinterest have great ideas.
Make a lunch box ready the night before so it's easy to give straight away and you don't have to faff in the kitchen whilst your toddler runs riot. My 2.5 year old Loves his lunch box and will sit and eat everything in it!! I sometimes put a blanket in the garden for a picnic which he loves too. And you can sit and relax on the blanket.

I tend go out first thing in the morning and burn off energy going for a walk, park, toddler group or just run around in the woods etc.
There will be days where everything goes wrong no matter how organised you are, that's ok!! You're doing your best, its hard when you are so tired.
Try to say positive things to your DS like "good listening" "you're walking so nicely" "you're being really good playing on your own" etc etc you will notice more positive bahaviour, my DC picks up on my negativity and often acts up when he knows I'm cross so I just try to be as positive as possible.

If help is offered, take it!!
Keep going, you're doing amazing, best of luck!!

for you it's hard!

When I found out I was pregnant with number four I had a 9,3 and 14 week old. It was so so hard. I felt dreadful but all these little people depended on me!!

I would get out every morning. Park, soft plat, kids cafe, library anywhere... it would tire them out and I didn't feel so bad if they sat in front of the tele later.

But honestly it sounds like you are doing a fab job in difficult circumstances don't be hard on yourself a bit of tv never hurt anyone..

I was you exactly 3 days ago. DD at 18 months & one on the way. Spent the day getting annoyed at DD and then crying for getting annoyed at her. Then I cried all night when she went to bed feeling like I was the worst mum ever. Guess what? She still woke up the next day smiling and calling mama. The main thing is - don't let the guilt/hormones win. This day is so insignificant in the scale of your DSs life that they won't even remember after an hour. But the fact you care enough to realise means you're doing a great job!

If you can get someone to help watch him for an hour, do it and take some time to yourself. If you can't - don't feel guilty for sticking them in front of the TV for an hour and get you both a snack and a cold drink. Come tomorrow - you can pin this all on hormones and pretend it didn't happen! You're doing great!

Solidarity here too!! Pregnant and shouty and miserable. I am a much better parent out of the house!! Go for cake and find a buddy to share the pain. Good luck xx

Give yourself a big pat on the back for coping today . Growing a new tiny human takes it out of you so dealing with a toddler as well is bloody hard work . Your hormones are all over the place so please don't worry about the crying . Once your Little one goes to bed have a long hot bath and get an early night. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully you will feel a bit more able to cope . Lots of great advice posted already . Sending you a hug . X

Also make a plan for tomorrow if you can - somewhere to go out basically, or someone to meet up with. Really helps.

@JoiningUpTheDots I was you on Friday, even down to the 40 min nap, I completely empathise.

I'm 27 weeks with a 21 month old who is very active. Our house purchase fell through last week and I've been so stressed, crying all day and down about it and took it all out on poor DS who wasn't feeling well thus being even more challenging because of that. I was such a bad mum to him and I feel bad too.

Everyone is right though; It was just a really bad day and all we can do is try to make tomorrow better. There will be more bad days and more shouting and more cartoons, but also more amazing days and happy memories and learning breakthroughs and days when they eat real vegetables that aren't in puffed maize form.

Solidarity to all my pregnant mums of toddlers!

@JoiningUpTheDots I was you on Friday, even down to the 40 min nap, I completely empathise.

I'm 27 weeks with a 21 month old who is very active. Our house purchase fell through last week and I've been so stressed, crying all day and down about it and took it all out on poor DS who wasn't feeling well thus being even more challenging because of that. I was such a bad mum to him and I feel bad too.

Everyone is right though; It was just a really bad day and all we can do is try to make tomorrow better. There will be more bad days and more shouting and more cartoons, but also more amazing days and happy memories and learning breakthroughs and days when they eat real vegetables that aren't in puffed maize form.

Solidarity to all my pregnant mums of toddlers!

I remember being at that point and just phoning my MIL and saying "I need you to come and take DS, right now, I can't cope". She did, and I slept, and then felt a bit better.

When's the next time you'll have someone there to give you a break? Plan some nice things for yourself.

Wow, thank you so much for all of the kind messages, they really helped me yesterday was much better than Monday, we’ve had some trying moments for sure but I feel much more in control thankfully. Having another read through all the lovely advice now...