Interrogation rather than conversation (sort of lighthearted)

[wanderings]

I know that asking questions is a normal part of conversation, and that many people like to be asked about themselves, but does it ever happen that with some people, perhaps one's own parents, ordinary conversation feels like being cross-examined?

I've noticed this with my very loving DM: she loves to hear about what I do, but it sounds like an interrogation, or a job interview, rather than conversation. Instead of "tell me about your trip abroad", she'll interview me with lots of very specific and closed questions, such as "did you remember all the paperwork?" "Did you get travel insurance?" "Was your flight on time?" "How much did your hotel cost?" "Did you sleep well?" "Did you remember to put sun cream on?" "Did you remember to pick up all your luggage?" "Did you leave a tip?"

I realised that she did this all through my childhood. If asking me about my day at school (she was a teacher herself), she would ask "What lessons did you have today?" "Did you say anything in your English lesson?" "Were you given homework?" "Did you do your homework?" "What mark did you get for last week's homework?" "How did your mark compare with the other marks in the class?"

I often delay mentioning new projects of mine, or things going slightly wrong, because I know I'll be grilled to the ends of the earth about them.

And more recently, she's started asking the question, but not waiting for the answer, she'll answer it herself. "Are you happy with your choice of car?" (barely a second's pause) "No." I nipped this in the bud, explaining that I like to take time to give a well-thought out answer!

I love my DM dearly, but this kind of "conversation" can be exhausting! Does anyone else have the same with their nearest and dearest?

She sounds like she suffers from anxiety. Do you think that's a possibility?

Is this how she was with you as a child? It sounds to me as if you haven't grown up in her eyes.

Exactly how she was with me as a child (I remember my childhood vividly). Yes, I know it often happens that nobody grows up in their parents' eyes, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, and that loving parents are to be treasured. Perhaps she does suffer from anxiety. I don't want to make a thing of it, and if MN is anything to go by, this is hardly "stately homes" stuff. But I've been thinking about it a lot recently.

My Mum (before she got dementia) used to ask me incredibly specific questions....if I went somewhere she'd say "Did Theresa say your dress was absolutely beautiful?"

"Did the teacher say your work was the best?"

Things like that. I used to say "Yes" to please her but then I began saying "NO! Nobody said that!" and laughing. And she'd realise what she was doing.