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Original poster

Separation anxiety in 4 year old - any advice?

5 replies

pinkflamingo22 · 02/08/2019 08:43

DS turned 4 last month and starts school in September. He has been attending the pre-school attached to the school for the last year and taking him in has been up and down. At the moment, for the last two months it is really awful taking him in. I tell him half an hour before we go its pre-school today and he goes white, looks so scared, starts holding his stomach and crying. We have done all the trying to talk about it to him, what worried about etc etc but there seems to be no specifics and no specific event.

He's got to the point now when he follows me round the house all the time and gets upset if i'm a few steps ahead of him going upstairs. I had a brief chat with gp when i was there for another issue about myself and she said to read up on it and the school will work with me. i have done this, but really worried about school starting in sept.

Any advice, shared experiences welcome

OP posts:
spottygymbag · 02/08/2019 11:06

Is he ok after you leave? If so it might the transition that he finds upsetting. I'm sure you've tried this but I found some success with breaking it down into very short steps, then picked a time to talk about it on a Saturday morning when it felt really far away for my DD. Our steps were "through the gate, through the door, sign in, bags away, something to play with, wave bye to mum".
We kept going over the steps on Saturday and Sunday. Come Monday it went a lot better. And has been much easier since.
It's so hard when they get upset and you start dreading the drop offs. Hope more people come by soon with advice!

bellinisurge · 02/08/2019 17:51

My dd was the same. I sewed a little button or similar on a bit of her skirt or cardigan and told her that if she felt a bit upset to put it between her fingers and give it a squeeze. She loved picking them out from a stall on the market and selecting where they should go.
I will not pretend that everything was fab for her but we made it work. She's now in Y8 and absolutely flying.

bellinisurge · 02/08/2019 17:59

And the teachers were brilliant. Speak to them.

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Original poster
pinkflamingo22 · 02/08/2019 20:42

Some days he is ok after I leave, they tell me he is fine in a few mins, others he is up and down through the day. Some of the photos put on his online journal though he looks so pale and sad, though there are also plenty where he is clearly having fun.

Love the button idea, will try that :)

OP posts:
bellinisurge · 02/08/2019 20:59

Old fashioned market stall or similar will have loads of different buttons

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