DPs DS hates me and is encouraging him to leave

[NotLongUntilFootballStsrts]

We have been together for 3 years & we are in our late 40s. We have both been married before. We live together.
I’ve met her a couple of times.
She is extremely wealthy (through marriage & also her own career) and lives abroad for 2/3 of the year and comes home for 1/3.
DP & her exchange regular messages when she is overseas.
When she is in the country he visits her once a week. It’s usually a vvvv boozy day.
I’m never invited.
Every time he comes back he is very aggressive shouting & generally unhappy.
Yesterday he came back even more steaming than usual. I’d spoken to him earlier & knew he was drunk so told him to stay there.
As soon as he came in he barged past me & slammed the door in my face.
I went to my study because I just didn’t want to be around him.
He started shouting in my face - complete incoherent rubbish.
He started kicking the log store & thumping windows.
He then said his DSis wants her brother back from 3 years ago & its my fault he seems unhappy. I’m the problem and he needs to get out.
I’m not the corporate wife he had - I’m a cleaner not by choice but because we needed food on the table.
I’m the only one earning at the moment.
Most days I work 10 hours so we can eat.
He loves his sister dearly & I wonder if he just sees another life when he goes there.

I just feel a bit hurt . We never really warmed to each other because I talked to her husband (about politics ! But apparently she didn’t like it).
Had the usual I’m sorry this morning, I drank too much but tbh I’m not sure I want her making him doubt us & if she is so easily maybe he does ?

Sorry DSis not DS !

Throw him out. His sister can support him.

Find a man who is working.

He behaves like that every time he sees his sister - once a week for 4 months of each year? And you only feel ‘a bit hurt’? I would be devastated - this isn’t normal behaviour for a loving partner.

This was posted ages ago - have you just copied it & reposted after another of her visits?

How can you afford for him to have 17 “very boozy days” a year when you are working 10 hours a day to put food on the table?

Tell him to fuck off and live with DSis!

@IncrediblySadToo I’ve not posted about this before

My reaction to reading your post is not about what your DP's sister may be doing - it's about what your DP is doing. He really shouldn't be treating you like that. You don't really know what his sister is saying or doing behind your back - although your suspicions may be quite right. But the things is, if he loves and respects and values you, he shouldn't be talking to you in that way, even if he's drunk, and even if he's under the influence of a family member. That's just not right.

Bluebrush is absolutely right.

There's no way i would put up with a partner who behaved like that.

Why isn't he working?

His work is v sporadic but much more highly paid than mine ie £60ph vs £12.
This week he’s probably worked 4 hours.
Next month is always going to be the month it comes good.
I’m so disappointed because without me encouraging him he wasn’t even doing 4 hours a week until the last month !
I did start looking for new accommodation last night as I just can’t live with this knot in my stomach every week

I wonder if he feels inadequate around his sister. And rather than admit that he is to blame for the state of his life, it's far easier to blame you.

I bet around his sister he is making out you are dragging him down. Then when he gets home pissed, he is still in this het up bullshit state that he somehow thinks you are to blame.

But really, the why is irrelevant. The fact is, he is shouting at you, kicking things, making you feel bad. Why on earth would you put up with that? Surely you deserve better.

Oh for heaven's sake get rid of this disgusting man.

And when you do, tell him that you would LOVE to be a corporate wife, but instead you have to cope with a cocklodger.

Have a little respect for yourself. He's an arse and lets his sister dictate his life, let her support him, seeing you grafting isn't good enough. Kick him out.

What makes you think it's her and not him?

He sounds like a verbally abusive dosser.

Why are you with him? Why did his marriage break down?

Are you the poster who's cocklodging bloke takes your car and let's you take your cleaning shit on the bus and who gave your easter egg from a client to his son?

I feel so angry for you, working your arse off and living with that knot in your stomach

Get rid of him and his awful fucking sister. You'll feel three stone lighter without him, honestly.

You need to leave him, it’s totally unacceptable behaviour.

You’re working ten hour days to support this loser*? Do yourself a favour and fuck him off. He’s really not worth it.

*I say this as someone who’s also the main (by a long way) earner in the relationship. Difference is my DH is doing all he can to earn money so he can contribute too, and would never ever speak to me that way.

Whose house are you living in? If it's yours pack his bags & send him on his way. If it's his, start looking for somewhere else asap. You're the one who deserves better here.