Becoming more antisocial and prefer my own company the older I get!

[Petals23]

So I'm mid forties now. I find my circle of friends has got smaller and I just stay in contact with those I want to. Also, I'm in a club with my hobby but find a lot of small talk exhausting with people I consider only acquaintances! I am an introvert and need my time alone but I think the older I get the less I can tolerate being around a lot of people. Am I unusual?

Oh me too OP! And my DH. I've always been introverted too but now, things have really shrunk back.

To be frank, I could spend weeks alone...as long as I pop to the shops and have little chats with people there, I'm happy. I'm 46 and my DC are 15 and 11 so quite LOUD and just...there all the time!

I love them dearly but need complete solitude a lot.

I work from home too...I have about three best mates. One lives on the other side of the world...the other lives about 8 hours drive away and the third only a mile away. That suits me!

I don't see them all often. My nearby friend about once a week for coffee and a walk. Occasional nights out...very occasional and usually dinner at one of our homes....so hardly social!

I'm like this now, it started in my late 40's and now I'm quite happy home alone. I dislike going out in the evening too, I'm really quite antisocial.

My therapist who I'm having counselling for anxiety and depression keeps nudging me to take up hobbies and go out and find friends. I just don't want to, I'm not a people person.

Same here. Over the years I’ve grown away from people for various reasons and the relief at not having to socialize is enormous. I really just like spending time either alone or with my family. I do worry a bit for the future though. Dh is a decade older, and I foresee a time when the dc are busy with their lives and I’m completely alone. I hate to think that I’ll be a burden on them then.

I am the same. I find being around people for any length of time now draining. I do a short commute into London and even that small journey on a busy train does my head in. People are just so noisy these days. And shallow. I try and avoid most places and social events these days. I like my home or the countryside.

I'm 37 and I'm the same. I find a lot of people so confusing at times, with some aqcuaintances one day they will be all friendly and talkative and the next they'll ignore me for seemingly no reason at all, in groups of people there is always so much drama and gossip going on and I just can't be bothered with it all. I have a couple of close friends I've had since childhood and we do things together every one in a while but nobody gets shitty about the infrequency of meet-ups we all understand how busy life gets and that none of us gets a lot of time for ourselves!

I'm 37 and my friends regularly have piss ups round their house. For the last 3 years ish I can't be arsed to go dh still loves it would rather stay home and watch crap on the tele tbh

Absolutely..late thirties here and gradually getting happier and happier to be away from other people. I think it is very natural and normal for a lot of people. I have a hobby which is always 'busy with people' and whilst I love the actual hobby, it makes the next day's solitude even more satisfying and I need a good day or two away from people to recover (still DH and DC at home though)!

Completely understand.....I’m mid 40’s too, maybe it’s an age thing?

Same here! I wfh and can go literally weeks without seeing anyone and I have no issue with that I do speak to my DS on Skype a couple of times a week as he lives abroad. And my DD has moved home for a little while following a break up. But those interactions are plenty for me. I am meeting up with a friend this evening funnily enough, but I think the last time I did that was maybe 5 months ago.

To be blunt a lot of people just bore the pants off me now (it's quite possible I bore them too!). I have a lot of hobbies, although all solitary, I have a nice garden I spend time in when I want to be outside. My days are very full and I don't get lonely. I don't see it as an issue as I am happy to go out if it's somewhere I actually want to go. I just don't see the point in going somewhere for the sake of it.

I remember reading once that the whole "culture" of going out and doing things at the weekends was something that was encouraged many years ago as a way of getting people spending for the sake of the economy. Before that, people worked 6 days a week with Sunday being a religious day off. But that idea that we should be out socialising (and therefore spending) has continued.

It's great to hear there's others like me! I like nothing more than settling down with a good book and a cuppa and I'm happy out.

I'm 46, and while I've always been a happy loner, I'm a regular hermit now. Aside from my husband, I couldn't care less if I ever see anyone.

Yes, especially in the holidays, there's always one over enthusiastic mum friend who plans endless meet ups with endless numbers of other people's children I do try to get a balance as I'd like my children to be friendly and sociable so I have to set an example, I suppose

Oh God this is me..I’m happy pottering around, watching tv, reading books and magazines, jigsaws, tinternet, listening to the radio. I’d rather do that than a night out any time of the week. DH has to prise me out of the house

Time spent alone is time well spent.