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Original poster

I really hate sleepovers....

25 replies

OhDearWhyAmIFatterly · 01/08/2019 11:13

Just that really.
I feel bad as I don't often let my dc have friends over to sleep. I find it really stressful, the mess, the eating in their rooms (I do say no but there is sometimes sneaking) and I know this sounds awful but I just can't relax with other people in the house. And if we want to go to bed I don't want them to be up!
The constant "it's time to stop talking now and go to sleep" really winds me up!!
Last year for dc1 birthday he had 3 friends to sleep over. They all slept in the front room, and it was a tip and sooo not enjoyable!
Am I doing my kids a massive disservice by not doing regular sleepovers?....

OP posts:

Original poster

OhDearWhyAmIFatterly · 01/08/2019 11:22

Just me then

OP posts:

Foxglovesandprimroses · 01/08/2019 11:26

No I don't see the need for them. Did a couple for DS1 but DD2 has never had one!

lavenderbluedilly · 01/08/2019 11:28

I once let DS invite 3 friends for a sleepover - never again! Now it’s one friend at a time. I don’t mind, as long as there are firm arrangements about the next morning, in terms of going home time etc. Ive found now DS is older (teen), it’s no bother at all. They tend to watch TV downstairs, or play Xbox quietly in his room. He knows I hate mess so always clears up after them!

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OrangeJustice · 01/08/2019 11:32

We don’t ever host them as our house is too small. There’s no room for a child to sleep on the floor in either dc room and we’re not letting them have the living room and banishing ourselves to our bedroom all evening. I think as long as you’re clear when your dc bet invited elsewhere that you won’t or can’t reciprocate then it’s fine.

My dc don’t really like them anyway but there is such huge pressure these days to have and enjoy them. Some of dds friends are having three a week at the moment!

Soola · 01/08/2019 11:32

Two children, both now adults. Never had a sleepover. They’re just fine.

CitadelsofScience · 01/08/2019 11:33

My youngest DS keeps going on and on.

I hate sleepovers and told him that they weren't a thing when I was younger.

His answer was that we weren't all born in the 60's. The battle continues...

Billballbaggins · 01/08/2019 11:36

Ugh my 2 are a bit young for sleepovers (well we’ve had my nephew who is the same age over for a couple of nights but that wasn’t quite the same thing really!) and I am not looking forward to them. I think my limit would be 1 or 2 friends. And I don’t want my kids going to some random persons house anyway. I didn’t even like sleepovers when I was a child, maybe once a year, I remember feeling so awkward being in someone else’s home or if they were at mine I felt like they were in my space. Not a fan!

Original poster

OhDearWhyAmIFatterly · 01/08/2019 11:40

I'm feeling better already!
You are right about the pressure to have them and enjoy them. I don't have an issue with dropping a friend home at 10pm rather than let them sleep!!!

OP posts:

jennymanara · 01/08/2019 12:02

I loved sleep overs as a kid and had lots of them, and I am older, although most were just with one other child.

tulips77 · 01/08/2019 12:05

I don't like them either and avoid them as much as possible! You're definitely not alone.

Seahorseshoe · 01/08/2019 12:14

I used to hate it too, for the same reasons as you. Just think that they might have fond memories of it when they are adults, rather than "I was never allowed to have sleepovers".

You could think, right that's ticked off the list, they can't say I never let them happen - get photographic proof that it did! 😂

Original poster

OhDearWhyAmIFatterly · 01/08/2019 12:36

That's a good plan, I'll let them have one sleepover each then that's it done forever! I'll take loads of photos!! Love it!

OP posts:

Fragalino · 01/08/2019 14:41

We have lots and they are no trouble or extra work at all but we only host 1 friend at a time. I think dd was 9 when we started.

Our house is small terrace, we have old cot bed mattress which we use, our dc will sleep on that and guest in the bed.
I expect talking, and whilst may ask a few times, no more than than that really, it's just no issue whatsoever.

Dd and her friends are all good girls! Polite, do anything when asked. No extra work bar extra meal.

Dd older now and it's just the same, no issues at all. They don't do anything bar normal play date. It's also important for me as I'm trying to show dc how to be good hosts, put guest first etc.

SouthWestmom · 01/08/2019 14:41

We had 9 once when ds had his 14th birthday. That was pretty horrific.

I've cut it down to 2/3 max and they have to sleep in the sitting room, use the downstairs loo and only come upstairs for dire emergencies.

I dread them but actually they are usually fine. Maybe having had the awful one means any others look fab in comparison.

Fragalino · 01/08/2019 14:43

Also they are not random homes, we know the other parents fairly well. Primary school. Maybe things will change a little as they get older.

dustarr73 · 01/08/2019 14:43

I only allow 1 friend at a time.Otherwise its just mayhem and way to stressful.

Sparklingbrook · 01/08/2019 14:48

My DC had lots of sleepovers. It wasn't massively enjoyable for me but they had a great time.
We went through a stage when it was every weekend either here or at others' houses. I used to be ok about it because everyone was doing the same.

PamelaTodd · 01/08/2019 14:55

I just don’t do them. End of.
My dc are too privileged so really I’m doing them a massive favor to give them a reason to feel hard done by.

Frazzlerock · 01/08/2019 15:06

I don't really mind them.
What I do mind is other people's kids weeing all over our toilet seats and all over the floor These are 14 year olds! This doesn't happen when they don't have friends over so I doubt it is my DC, unless they suddenly forget how to use a toilet on these occasions.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/08/2019 15:18

I've hosted 1 so far, DDs 8th birthday a few weeks ago. They camped in the garden. They slept for 6hrs. I was exhausted, they were hyper the next day.
My 6yo keeps asking. I'm not brave enough. I'm a Cub leader but it's more exhausting in your own home!

Biiscuits · 01/08/2019 22:54

I hate them. I have emetophobia, so I lay awake panicked that one of them will be sick. I get no sleep and find it SO stressful.

However, as DS is an only child and I don't want him to miss out on anything because of my phobia, I suck it up. I hate them, but I do them. I hope he appreciates this as an adult!

Alislia17 · 02/08/2019 04:47

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Ithinkmycatisevil · 02/08/2019 05:22

I don’t mind them. Dd1 had 6 friends to sleep over on her birthday. Dd2 had 3 and then I took them all out for the day the following day.

We have one of DD2s best friends to sleep over regularly, but they are more like one of the family, so not like having random kids you don’t know in your house. I don’t know dd1s friends quite so well, so it’s a bit more awkward, though it still isn’t a problem if she wants them over.

Nandocushion · 02/08/2019 05:52

We have quite a few but only with children and families I know quite well, and I set the rules early in front of the parents so there is no doubt. When they are being dropped off I say to parent that screens will be shut off at say 10pm, and kids sent downstairs to basement (where the sleepover bedroom is), and bedtime will be at midnight. If parent is weird then I might ask for confirmation, but it's not been an issue so far. It's my house and I make the rules. No way am I dealing with hyper kids at 1am! It's worked out well so far.

SnowsInWater · 02/08/2019 06:30

I am not a fan of mass sleepovers but luckily enough neither were/are my kids though other parents often thought they were strange for saying no to invites 😊 DD is 16 now and has two friends who occasionally stay (separately) but they are lovely girls who I am happy to have around and at that age require nothing other than that there is food in the house.

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