Not gaslighting but similar - what's the word?

[PlsTryAnother]

Don't even know if there is a word for this. Person A let's down Person B constantly. The reasons are always valid on the surface ie illness, bad back, unexpected bill, overtime, but they don't tell B until the last minute to cause maximum disruption and are things that can't be proved and make B look unreasonable to doubt or reject them.

I know this is similar to gaslighting but is there a more specific term? Even as I'm writing this it seems like I'm over reacting!

Sorry for the garble - heads fucked

The technical term is "concealed aggression"

It's a lot like passive aggression, often uses similar ways to frustrate and annoy, but unlike passive aggression, he knows exactly why he's doing and is doing it deliberately.

This is a crime of domestic abuse because he is controlling your time and plans
See section 76 of the serious crimes act 2015. Take him to jail under the criminal law

I think it’s passive aggressive and manipulative.

Passive Aggressive - that's possibly the term I was looking for. And yeah, manipulative. I'm always painted as the crazy woman if I dare to complain, so I have taken to letting him believe it doesn't bother me.

Thanks for all the replies. Some interesting food for thought really. I know he does it on purpose btw. As I said, I lived with it for long enough.

Tell me, if he late / forgetful / confused about the time / cancel when it’s things HE wants to do ? Or things that matter a lot to you but he’s not bothered about?

@M0RVEN it's not even about me (although he thinks it is). It's DC he lets down. And yes, even things he wants to do if he thinks it'll impact on me enough. The problem with not letting him see it's getting to me is that he seems to try harder rather than give up.