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Original poster

Phew, close call!

41 replies

ParmaViolet44 · 31/07/2019 09:04

Was texting a mum from DS's school yesterday to arrange a play date. She's pleasant but seems quite serious and strait-laced, I haven't got to know her too well just yet.

Just as I was about to hit send at the end of my first message I realised my phone was auto-correcting her son's first name to "asshole". The name is not a million miles away in terms of letters but still a bloody leap!

I was having cold sweats imagining if I'd sent a message to this lady I don't know that well and asking if "asshole is ok with pasta for tea"
I honed my spell-checking to new levels at work that day making sure nothing was being changed in emails/texts!

Anyone else ever had a close shave that still makes their tummy wobble when they think about it!?

OP posts:

Teagoanngoanngoann · 31/07/2019 09:06

this made me snort over brekky. Thanks xx

Original poster

ParmaViolet44 · 31/07/2019 09:12

Bloody phones!

Plus it's the American spelling that I don't even say! I may have typed "arsehole" on the odd occasion so could possibly have understood if that had popped up!

OP posts:

Kalim8 · 31/07/2019 09:34

I nearly sent requests for "sanitary wear" instead of "sanitary ware" when working for a house builder.

SomeAfternoonDelight · 31/07/2019 09:35

HA! Ugly laughing RN. Brilliant.

LadyOfLittleLeisure · 31/07/2019 10:26

My phone used to correct 'most' to 'moist', which meant me attempting to be cutesy and send my husband 'I have the most love for you' took on a whole new meaning...

SexFarmWoman · 31/07/2019 10:33

A few summers ago, I took a morning shower then as I was getting dried I realised I’d left a pile of laundry downstairs. Wanting to wear a particular item, I set off downstairs naked.
About half way down I suddenly got a prickly feeling of vulnerability, so I went back upstairs (it would have been about 20 seconds to get downstairs and to the laundry).

Literally no sooner had I reached the landing, than the front door (opposite the stairs!) opened and my father in law, calling on the off chance someone was in, popped his head round the door. I would have been standing right there naked

The universe was on my side that day.

purplelass · 31/07/2019 10:37

I nearly sent an invoice out yesterday with a line I was quoting from MN in rather than the invoice text I was supposed to be copying from an email - can't remember what it was exactly but it was highly inappropriate - good job I double check them

cjt110 · 31/07/2019 10:58

I once asked a colleague "J, can you send X a floppy dick in tonight's post" Obviously I mean DISK!

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 31/07/2019 12:23

My phone converts Sharon to Shaton. No idea why. Poor Sharon Shaton is used to it now

seven201 · 31/07/2019 12:25

I was once being observed teaching a class. I noticed just before the lesson that I'd written 'draw a cock' instead of 'draw a clock' in massive letters on my PowerPoint.

Original poster

ParmaViolet44 · 31/07/2019 13:30

Ha! Just reminded me of the time I was giving a big presentation at work to some senior managers and was just about to go into the conference room and looked down to see 2 completely odd shoes. I had a few pairs of similar style heels under my desk as I wear trainers on the commute and had just slipped my feet into them without thinking.

I was wearing one black shoe and one red. Had to sprint back to my desk to find a matching pair!

OP posts:

Titsywoo · 31/07/2019 13:34

I once sent my (male) boss an email saying "I'm very busty right now" instead of busy

Bobbiepin · 31/07/2019 13:39

Oh this is making me laugh! Thanks everyone. I'll try to think of something to contribute soon.

Jammiebammie · 31/07/2019 13:45

School group chat, arranging some things for a Christmas Fayre. I replied ‘no pubes’ instead of no probs.
Also text my dds coach once that the physio said dd had tender tits. Meant tendinitis

Always, always proof read now.

ImMeantToBeWorking · 31/07/2019 13:51

I am a scout leader, and I text the parents in a group whatsapp telling them the cost for "the feckers" it autocorrected from neckers. One of the other leaders (also a parent so in the group) made a joke out of it and the other parents laughed (luckily they are all lovely) the leaders still slag me about it!

PivotPivotPivottt · 31/07/2019 13:59

Sent my mum a message about slut sports instead of Sky sports.

Replied to my dad's message confirming that I like fuck instead of duck. Funny how my phone always changes it to duck and ducking (it just changed it to fucking there) when I'm actually trying to swear!

Nonstopbuttmachine · 31/07/2019 14:03

My phone ALWAYS changes Mike to milf, no idea why as I've only typed milf once I have to be so careful when messaging my boss, Mike

iklboo · 31/07/2019 14:16

Almost messaged a German customer asking if she had any fuhrer questions

Runoutofgas · 31/07/2019 14:19

I once sent my dad a message talking about the anal. I was actually talking about the Canal

Anotherdayanothernight · 31/07/2019 14:28

I almost, more than once, texted a colleague starting Hi Smiley. She is the most miserable person I know so that wouldn't go down too well...

Crass12 · 31/07/2019 15:01

Asshole, this made me laugh so hard 😂😂

Bezalelle · 31/07/2019 15:07

Almost messaged a German customer asking if she had any fuhrer questions

I've done this one, asking if my (Jewish) DP was interested in "thinking about the Fuhrer with me"!

CaptainCallisto · 31/07/2019 15:35

In my old job we sent cameras off for repair to a place in an old converted warehouse. I once mislabeled a package (by hand so I can't even blame autocorrect!) and had no idea until we got an email from the very amused repair man with a photo of the offending parcel.

Repair man
The Whorehouse
Town

They never let me live that one down

CaptainCallisto · 31/07/2019 15:36

Don't know why I have random bold bits in that post!

Singlenotsingle · 31/07/2019 16:10

I arrived at work one morning, having got dressed in a hurry. To my horror, realised I'd forgotten to put any knickers on! I had to think of an excuse as to why it was necessary to go out immediately! I didn't want to confess the real reason...

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