Why does this man bully me?

[Bedsidedrawer]

It's my martial arts instructor
Every lesson pretty much, he singles me out and highlights all the things I'm doing wrong.
I've tried to tell myself, he's just wanting to push me and improve my technique etc but everyone else either gets ignored or praised. Or certainly some praise.
One class he literally ignored other students and spent the whole class trying to correct my technique in a really stern and bullying way.
I've done well to get 5 belts but I'm on the verge of giving up. Frankly at my age with kids I'm sick of being made to feel like shit.
Yes I could ask him but he can be intimidating and part of me doesn't want him to know he's got to me.

Some men are just horrible bullies?

Find another class to go to. Why are you paying him to make you feel shit?

Good point
I do love the exercise and have friends there. I would miss these aspects.
Also I'm genuinely passionate about the art and a little spark in me feels I'm good at it, despite him.

I would go up to him at the end of the class and very clearly ask him to stop singling you out. If he carries on don't go again and contact his professional body.

He is a twat and probably a misogynist

There's millions of martial arts clubs. If this one doesn't suit, move on.

everyone else either gets ignored or praised

Then they aren't learning anything. He doesn't sound like a good teacher.

He did say once that he made standards higher for me because of my ability but really this is a hobby at the end of the day!
Usually people bully because they feel threatened by something in you.
And yes he probably is misogynistic

I couldn’t be giving this guy money. Move on, you will make friends at the new club.

Yes. Find a new club.

Because bullies bully. You could challenge him about it but he won't change. Find another class

Don’t look for the answer in yourself! The man is bullying you because he is a bully! Why you god only knows but try not to think like that because the next thought is what can I do about it which is accepting responsibility for behaviour that isn’t yours. It might be because he hates you, it might be because he likes you but he is unlikely to change. There are lots of twats with fragile egos teaching martial arts. You could try talking to him about it but if he is bully he is unlikely to realise it or accept the feedback. I would try a different class and see if you like it better. You might even find a better teacher as in my experience the best martial arts teachers are the ones without a fragile ego.

Yes I think he has a fragile ego
It's complicated because sometimes he's cool and nice. But then that's part of how bullies operate isn't it - reel you in with occasional niceness.
GAH I should know this having been raised by a bullying misogynist
If I give up this club then I'll have to give up this particular martial art. I'm rural and no other classes which aren't too long a drive. Such a shame when I've come so far
But life is short and all that

Sound advice op...you don’t need this.

Could you complain about him to a regulatory body - try to get another instructor for the class?

Why don’t you invite him to fight you and karate chop him to fuck!!!! He sounds like a twat OP smile and wave x

I was hoping people would say, oh this is just the way of martial arts teaching, he just wants you to do well etc
Because I really don't want to give it up
But I know you're right, It's time to leave

Say "I don't like being singled out, it's bullying. Please stop or I shall contact your governing body"

karate chop him to fuck lol

I don't think I could!

I was hoping people would say, oh this is just the way of martial arts teaching, he just wants you to do well etc

Um. Well. It can crop up occasionally, as a teaching method, usually in the very traditionally-minded clubs. But you aren't enjoying it, so who cares? I hate the "I will criticise you lots, because you are so talented and could do so much better, and just be nice to those other ones who are crap and will never progress but I want them to give me money" bullshit. A decent teacher wants everyone in their class to improve to the best of their ability.

Could you complain about him to a regulatory body - try to get another instructor for the class?

Possibly, but a lot of martial arts clubs/organisations don't work like this. It's usually the case that the club is a small business, owned and run by the chief instructor, which does a certain amount of paperwork/compliance to affiliate itself to a larger organisation (amount of effort required for affiliation varies enormously). Generally, if you complain to the regulatory body, one of three things would happen:

1. they pass your complaint to the police, e. g. if it was safeguarding
2. they strip your club of their affiliation, if it was serious but not criminal
3. pretty much nothing, possibly feed the content of the complaint back to the club owner.

OP's instructor doesn't sound like someone I would want to pay money to, but at the same time what is described sounds as much like a personality clash as anything else. Some people really like getting a good shouting at, and it sounds like the club has a fair few happy members.