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Not sure how to respond to odd messages from male colleague

18 replies

MadamePompadour · 30/07/2019 23:23

Firstly I'm married and in no way interested or encouraging anything from anyone. Not that I'm sure there is anything to be encouraged.....really not sure what to make of this.

So a guy at work who I don't know very well as I haven't worked there long. But we have chatted occasionally in the canteen and got on. He is married but has recently split from his wife.

I was out a few nights ago and he was in the same bar with some other colleagues. I said hi as I went past but was with friends so kept going. A while later he came over and said he wanted to say sorry. I think he was a bit drunk. He said something about the colleagues and him had been on FB and he had sent a friend request to me, but hadn't realised it was me (my name is different on fb) but then the colleagues had said it was me so he had deleted the friend request and was sorry if I had seen it. It didn't really make sense and I just said I didn't mind if he friend requested me. Then a bit of small talk and he went off.

I did think the next day why would he send me a friend request if he didn't know it was me. And why when told it was me would he delete it but wasn't that bothered.

Then realised I had a message from him which just said "hi Madame pompadour". It had been sent during the time we had been in the bar. Ignored it as thought maybe he'd meant he'd sent me a message by accident, not a friend request.

Then today he has sent me about ten "stickers" on Facebook. All sent at the same time I think. So random cartoon cats, dogs, etc.....some with love hearts, etc. No actual message. Just stickers.

Do I just ignore? I'm really not sure how to respond to random stickers. Like I say I don't wish to encourage anything but if this is some sort if modern day friendly banter I don't want to be rude and ignore.

OP posts:
flappi · 30/07/2019 23:26

Sounds like he fancies you .

flappi · 30/07/2019 23:28

I would just ignore the messages . When you see him at work be normal and polite like with the others . But don’t respond to the Facebook messages or any other non work interaction . If he asks or it comes up just say you don’t really read your messages or don’t log in that often etc etc .

Soon he will give up

flappi · 30/07/2019 23:28

If he’s just split from his wife he might not be in a good place right now .

ThisIsTheFirstDay · 30/07/2019 23:29

If it was one of my colleagues from work I'd probably make a joke about it.
Haha did you mean to send that to me? Or what are you attempting to say here? Or I'd send an equally cryptic emoji thing back.

If you ask a direct question hopefully he will say why he is messaging you.

MadamePompadour · 30/07/2019 23:29

That's what I'm worried about and I'm thinking it's just best to ignore and pretend I haven't seen the messages...but I assume he can see I have read them. I don't want to be rude but am worried responding even just "hi" could encourage stuff.

OP posts:
ThisIsTheFirstDay · 30/07/2019 23:30

Oh, I somehow missed the part about him being newly single. Hes definitely trying his luck!
In this case ignoring may be best. This doesnt seem like an innocent friendship now.

MadamePompadour · 30/07/2019 23:30

I do kind of get the impression he isn't in a good place.

OP posts:
MadamePompadour · 30/07/2019 23:31

Thanks, will follow by gut and ignore. But good advice about being normal and polite still at work.

OP posts:
Soola · 30/07/2019 23:34

Very inappropriate to send to a married woman.

There is banter and sending funny things to colleagues but sending love hearts and cat stickers is like a a 14 year old with a crush.

Nip it in the bud by blocking him on messenger. You can still chat to him normally at work or socially but if he comes over all drippy again remind him that you’re not interested and are happily married.

MadamePompadour · 30/07/2019 23:39

I guess he might just be a bit drunk again tonight? He may well wake up tomorrow and think "what the fuck did I do?"

OP posts:
flappi · 30/07/2019 23:45

I agree . It’s probably a drunken mistake .
Maybe a bit of a crush but people do do things they wouldn’t normally do when drunk x

flappi · 30/07/2019 23:46

Yes he might avoid you at work and be totally embarrassed!

Dieu · 30/07/2019 23:48

It sounds like drunken nonsense to me, OP. And you seem to be handling it really well.

Longdistance · 30/07/2019 23:55

My friend sent me a tonne of emojis last week, her dgc got hold of her phone...

CheekyFuckersDontGetPastMe · 30/07/2019 23:55

I’d ignore

I’d then block if it happens again currently sitting with my phone on silent as I get 11pm drunken phone calls..

SmellbowSpaceBowl · 31/07/2019 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katinski · 31/07/2019 00:07

Ignore,ignore,ignore! Then block.

Skittlenommer · 31/07/2019 00:32

Block him and if he asks remember you don’t owe him an explanation.

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