Can someone help me get a grip (spider!)

[hannah9176]

So there's a huge spider on my wall above the stairs. We've been staring each other out for at least 45 minutes now. I am terrified, although I'm fully aware it's irrational! DH working away, parents live nearby but are on holiday. Going to have to sleep in the car/burn the house down. Only logical solution!

For reference it's got a big meaty body about the size of a £2 coin and legs like liquorice. Pretty sure it gave me the middle finger to try and intimidate me too.

Hoover the fucker up whilst screaming, “Die motherfucker, die!”

After hoovering it suck up a bit of kitchen roll to ensure it went all the way down, block the end of the pipe and get someone tomorrow to empty the vacuum cleaner out.

only effective if done with the chant! I've got a trainer on my hand ready to go but every time I go near I wimp out!

Have also discovered while standing at the top of the stairs that I can see straight in to the bathroom of the man across the road, don't know which is more frightening!

Go to bed. Shut bedroom door firmly. Roll up something to block gap under door. Pull duvet over face. Design your ideal future life in great detail and itemise your future dream holidays and future ideal jobs and what you will do if you win lottery and which clothes you would buy if you let yourself spend as much as you could on new outfits and which are your top ten favourite films that you could get on DVD if anyone needs gift ideas and in fact a long list of Christmas presents in case anyone should ask you and also birthday presents and how you could celebrate your next big birthday in a perfect way and how you could be more creative and which crafts you will take up and do evening classes in and how you could start a new de-cluttering plan and which jewellery you need to match all your outfits and books you have been meaning to read both classics and contemporary and so on and so forth till daylight

Kill it now! This was me a few months ago, I dithered all evening and then lost the spider. The only thing worse than a spider on the stairs is a lost spider that was on the stairs! Didn't sleep well for days!

If you want to live and thrive, let a spider run alive.

That's what my mum used to say, and it must have rubbed off on me, because that's what I do, co-habit !

You need to leave op. The spider owns the house now.

Don't kill it. Poor thing. I don't like having to deal with them but killing it is just nasty.

Get a glass and a piece of card. You can do it! Have a stiff drink before, after or preferably both!

Can we have a picture of the little chap?

I'd be hoovering it up.

Can you reach it?

Leave it be, it has no interest in you.

Currently 31 weeks pregnant or a wine (or 5) would definitely give me the courage required.

Think I'll have to agree with pp that the spider owns this house now.

Time to set up a new home in a spider free bubble far away from here. Can't even pack a bag as I'd have to walk past the 8 legged devil to do so.

After an almost 2 hour staring competition my back couldn't take any more standing and spidey was terminated.

Jokes on me though cause I vomited down myself straight after then cleaned myself up came to bed to find his mate on the bedroom wall!

Knew I should have just burned the house down!

There's one in my car.

Can't find him.

I need to drive 50 miles tomorrow first thing.