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7 replies

AmITheCrazyOne2 · 30/07/2019 22:12

Hello there looking for advice partner and I have been together nearly 13 years and have 3 children 3,2 and 5 months. At Christmas he introduced me to an old 'family friend' (One no-one had spoken to in well over a decade). I was picking my partner up when we were introduced. The guy decided he HAD to come and have a look at our home to 'check' it for any areas that needed fixing??! I said no but partner obliged anyway. He wanted coffee and we had none so was sent to get some from shop. After handing him a cup of coffee he said he would be stopping for at least 5 cups ( I thought he was joking - he was not) This man was loud, obnoxious, and did not know about personal boundaries. He kept putting his arm around me and demanding kisses on my cheek (I'm quiet and shy, unable to say no partner also did not say anything despite knowing i was uncomfortable) he kept demanding things, swearing and he spoke so loudly it scared the kids. After he left I said I didn't want to see him ever again . 6 months down the line he's started showing up again and I said to my partner that I didn't want him around the kids or me. My partner said luckily he has 50% of the say and if he wants the kids to see him they will. Please help with opinions. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 30/07/2019 22:19

Well, your partner is right, tbh. It isn't for one 1/2 of a couple to dictate who the other sees.

That said, if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable in that way, then say so at the time. Be clear.
Also, why on earth did you go to the shop ? Confused Why not just say 'Sorry, we don't drink coffee, don't have any in - do you want tea or squash or water ?'

Soola · 30/07/2019 22:28

Would you allow a 6 foot tarantula to slide up to you and put an arm/leg around you and kiss your cheek?

No! You’d recoil in horror.

The man is a creep, so it’s perfectly ok to pull away from him.

Even better to say, “Get your hands off me!”

Or when he comes round at your husband’s insistence, go out or stay in your bedroom.

No one can make you play host to him do let your husband entertain him.

AmITheCrazyOne2 · 30/07/2019 22:34

My partner is free to see who he pleases and do as he wishes but in this situation here where do I stand ??? With the kids importantly

OP posts:
AmITheCrazyOne2 · 30/07/2019 22:36

I'm a pushover. No joke I have serious confidence issues I literally go into panic mode in these situations ie clam up

OP posts:
Timeandtimeagain42 · 30/07/2019 22:55

Well your partner can see who he likes and so can you. When you know this obnoxious creep is coming round, take the kids out of the way and refuse to return until he's gone. Does your dh usually stick up for you or does he push your boundaries?

AmITheCrazyOne2 · 31/07/2019 00:31

I feel he pushes boundaries. That is a fair suggestion. I will go out if he ever comes round again.

OP posts:
bluebell34567 · 31/07/2019 00:39

i think your partner is weird, too.

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