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Original poster

Only one to think my wedding day wasn’t the best day ever?

83 replies

cookieoclock · 30/07/2019 09:34

Am I the only one to think that my wedding day wasn’t the best day ever?

Don’t get me wrong, it was a lovely day and I was over the moon to be finally marrying the man I had been with for 8 years.

All I see (admittedly, mainly on social media) is people describing it as the best day ever and saying they loved every single second of it.

I have no issue with what others post, but sometimes feel weird for not feeling like this.

OP posts:
OneKeyAtATime · 30/07/2019 10:21

The things people say on social media...

graziemille567 · 30/07/2019 10:25

I really loved my wedding but it definitely wasn't the best day of my life! I've had more exhilarating times at good friends weddings to be honest - all the fun with none of the pressure! My DH definitely had a little bit too much to drink by the first dance - absolutely fine but he wasn't as "present" for the first dance which I was a little bit annoyed with - drunk dancing and minimal eye contact! And our DS was too exhausted to dance by the time the disco came on so all my thoughts of him dancing with us and having loads of fun never came to pass, which was a little bit disappointing. But everyone we wanted was there, we all had a great time and our marriage is a strong one so I can laugh at the small things that stopped the day being totally epic!

miggeldysthepres · 30/07/2019 10:29

I couldn't agree more op. The day was such a rush from beginning to end, getting ready ( I was very late) , getting from church to reception, getting all the photos, and trying to speak to everyone ( which we failed on). The next day, however, looking back on the wedding and relaxing with the man of my dreams (2 nights in bridal suite - highly recommended as you don't have to rush to pack up the next day) was wonderful.

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Weddings
PepsiLola · 30/07/2019 10:39

I love that we did what I had always wanted to do (probably an outing but I got married in Vegas by Elvis).

But the actual day, I was up from the early hours, got really panicky (I suffer with panic attacks and anxiety), I practically whispered my vows for some reason, and I ended up taking my wedding dress off a few hours later as the attention was a bit much.

I couldn't imagine a better day for me so to speak, but it wasn't the best day of my life.

MidgetRed · 30/07/2019 10:45

Same here - we had a small wedding (40 including us), and whilst it was nice, it wasn't the best day of my life. Tbh, I don't think of any particular day as "the best day", not getting engaged, getting married, getting my degree or having my daughter- they're all nice, but also things that everyone else goes through in the course of life. Geez I sound a bit boring and unenthusiastic...

Limpshade · 30/07/2019 10:48

Yep, same. I was sick on my wedding day (I had a virus and also was literally sick). I still had a wonderful day but if I was able to relive one day of my life I wouldn't choose it! Also wouldn't choose the days I gave birth to my two kids either Grin

Yabbers · 30/07/2019 10:48

I’m not sure I could rank any of my days as best of my life. But if I had to, my wedding would definitely be up there.

dh says if you’ve spent £20k on one day you can’t really say anything apart from how amazing it was.

Or, if you spent 20k on a day, you’ve gone really wrong if it wasn’t one of the best days you had.

Whoops75 · 30/07/2019 10:53

Ours was fine, did a lot to please others but I wasn’t stressed and it got the job done.

If I had my time again I would do everything differently except the groom.

Trooperslaneagain · 30/07/2019 10:59

My Mum was a total arse. Made it all about her all day after nearly not coming and refusing to get her hair and make up done when I’d already paid for it.

My sister booked us a taxi and shoved me in. She said “you’re getting married today whether she’s there or not” (love my sister)

My uncle arrived when he hadn’t rsvpd. My other uncle stormed off during our very small meal. Which meant we were really late to the reception. And because uncle 1 was there I had to invite about 30 other people to evening reception at the last minute.

The DJ was totally shit - DH had spent hours creating a playlist and they played none of it. I had a total bridezilla moment. —I even stamped my foot— —mortified—

The conversation went something like “play fucking Kanye West or you’re FOR IT.

So, yes it was eventful-ish. Ha!

But it was a great day overall. Everyone really enjoyed the evening and we had a day at home before going on honeymoon, lying about and ordering pizza.

My pictures are great and more importantly- DH and I are a team. It’s nearly 10 years and 24 together. I haven’t been easy to live with the last while (understatement) and he’s still here.

DDs arrival after 8 loooooong years was the best for both of us.

Abhann · 30/07/2019 11:02

Honestly, I always think that people who say that their wedding day was the best day of their life, or the birth of their children, must have very little else going on in their lives, or just parrot that kind of thing because they think it's compulsory.

GrrrAaargh · 30/07/2019 11:02

Oh god, you're definitely not alone!

I'm very happily married. Nothing went majorly wrong on our wedding day. We had the small wedding we had hoped for. But I can't say I enjoyed the day itself! Tight-ish schedule, relatives, nerves, uncomfortable shoes, relatives again... It was all quite stressful and a bit of a blur.

If I ever had to get married again, I wouldn't bother with a wedding at all.

Podemos · 30/07/2019 11:12

Before I got married someone I know spent £40k on their wedding and justified it saying 'but it was the best day of my life' - I though 'what utter bollocks!'

But then I got married (didn't spend anywhere near 40k!) and it truly was. But I think it only was because we really planned it around what we wanted and we're both very laid back people any
way.

We had the ceremony later in the afternoon as we are not morning people so had a lovely lazy morning in a fancy hotel; I got ready with the 6 women I love most in the world - bridesmaids, mum and MIL - having a drink, yummy snacks, having a laugh, being pampered and no rushing; quick but lovely ceremony; the sun shone for a drinks reception in a courtyard full of our wonderful friends and family while a great acoustic band played- it was so lovely to drink and chat with so many people from all aspects of our life in one place; no sit down meal, lovely buffet for everyone - no daytime/evening guest split; barn dance kicked off the evening- it was so much fun and got everyone up dancing; a fantastic band played until midnight - more dancing; we sat up in the hotel bar til 4am having a laugh with the last ones standing.

I spent the entire day smiling (commented on my numerous people)

That's not a bragging post - just that I only think it was such a great day because we planned exactly what we wanted based around a party/music, didn't stress if anything went wrong, didnt over-spend, only invited people we wanted there and had great weather.

Original poster
cookieoclock · 30/07/2019 11:17

That sounds amazing pepsi! I wish we had just eloped. I didn’t much like the attention. Something I’d not even considered beforehand.
Thanks all. Interesting to read your tales and reassuring to know I’m not unusual in how I feel.
I should probably realise that what people say is not always how they feel/ complete honesty. I think as woman we are sold the expectation of the dream wedding day. Dh says he’s never thought about our day since. He just focuses on being married.

OP posts:
Dowser · 30/07/2019 11:20

We started off with a day at the small local zoo in Tenerife before it got too hot
Then back to hotel for lunch and swims. Loved having all my children/ grandchildren and extended family and close friends there

At this point I still didn’t have a bouquet but wasn’t bothered

Walked up to the evening venue to see how it was looking with all the Tenerife coloured bunting I made..looked fab ...and the cake ordered just two days previously...also fab

When I mentioned to the waitresses that the florist had closed and I had no bouquet, Juan the manager got my husband in the car and took him to a garden centre and got me a lovely hand tied bouquet of roses for about €30

Then back to hotel for showers. Everyone did own, hair, makeup and nails.
6-30 pm the guests assembled and the musician arrived to play us down to the beach for the ceremony

Was very special and out of my three weddings it was definitely the best

Original poster
cookieoclock · 30/07/2019 11:22

podemos that sounds like a lovely chilled out day and exactly what you wanted. A lot of the things we did. Ie sit down meal is just because that’s the expectation and I didn’t want fear of missing out.
Hindsight. What a wonderful thing Grin

OP posts:
TalbotAMan · 30/07/2019 11:29

Depends what you class as best. Ours was pretty hard work. You essentially have to direct and star in a theatre production of your own making, be nice and grateful to all and sundry, be photographed left, right and centre, put on fancy dress, make speeches and all with one eye on the clock.

Yes, I am still very pleased that DW and I got married, though to be honest I always felt that we had married in spirit some time before and that the wedding was simply putting that on paper.

I still sometimes think we should have gone with the first suggestion, which was nude on a tropical beach. Trouble was, when we floated the idea hoping to put people off, there were too many who said 'OK I'm up for that'!

Dowser · 30/07/2019 11:30

£4, 400 paid for my ten family, for a week in a 4 star hotel in Tenerife , half board , flights and transfers
My husband paid for the two weeks for us.
( I cried when everyone left after their week)
The actual wedding ceremony and evening meal for 25 including drinks all night, cake, flowers and musician to play us to the beach and back came in at a staggering under €1000
We didn’t have a photographer. The extra celebrant took photos on my ipad.

Our wedding clothes were as cheap as chips. Dh all in white chinos, shirt and shoes , I wore a beautiful Eliza j dress for £28 that a mnetter found online for me.

It was perfect
4 years ago next month

Sleepyblueocean · 30/07/2019 11:53

Mine wasn't the best day of my life but I didn't expect it to be. I have had better days with just dh or ds and dh. It was a good day and I think those who came had a good time which was what we wanted.

Dontgiveamonkeys1350 · 30/07/2019 11:54

Hated mine. Was nervous and was tired and had a headache. And I got married at Gretna green with only a handful of people. If I ever did have to do it again I would just do it quickly. No one there.

TeapotofTerror · 30/07/2019 12:06

I hated it. Being dressed up and the centre of attention turned out to be a nightmare!
The photos languish on a high, dusty shelf in a closed album, I try not to think about them.

I'd never do it again!

TeapotofTerror · 30/07/2019 12:07

I still have the husband as an unfortunate reminder.

LolaSmiles · 30/07/2019 12:10

I had a lovely wedding day and really enjoyed it.

I can't imagine a party being the 'best day of my life'.

I think too many people buy into the best day of your life fairy tale, spend a fortune and then even if it isn't the most perfect best day you'll ever have they've got to convince themselves it was worth the money.

As for posting it on social media, I've concluded that couples who post about how perfect each other are and how their wedding was th best day ever either are happy but care far too much about creating the perfect family image or they're not that happy at all.

HotChocolateLover · 30/07/2019 12:11

My second one was delightful and if I could relive it then I would, swoon! My first was awful as my ex-husband punched his cousin, broke his nose and nearly got arrested. I was In tears and just wanted to go home. Should have done really...

AudacityOfHope · 30/07/2019 12:15

I definitely enjoyed it, but I enjoyed the piss up the following day much more, and the two week honeymoon even more than that.

namechangerreloaded · 30/07/2019 12:35

I think a lot of it has to do with personality type. If you are a natural extrovert then it's going to be a lot easier and enjoyable than if you are introverted. Even the smallest of weddings focus attention on the bride and groom, and of attention isn't your thing...

Also, I was responsible for the planning, some of it solely me, some of it joint decisions. But nothing was a surprise, I wasn't guest of honour. I was planner, puppet master, and starring role. It was exhausting.

I can appreciate it was a good day but I wasn't on some kind of fuzzy cloud.

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