Things you regret not doing when you were younger...

[coffeeicer]

Try to keep this short - I’m 24 ‘prime of my life’ etc etc in a relationship with someone a fair bit older (15 years) - relationship is great, very happy in terms of that, we’re planning to buy a house next year and have a baby in the next 4-5.

The only issue being I keep having the fear that I will get to later in life and fear that I have missed out on certain things and will have ‘wasted my youth’ so I suppose my question is for those later in life - As inspiration for planning the next year or so, what regrets do you have for things you didn’t do?

Travelled/fancy holidays. Although like PP, I may not have been able to afford to buy properties then, so it's all relative. I had my DC at 27 and 31 and not planning any more so I'm hoping that we will go on lovely long haul holidays in the future when DC are older.

Wish I'd saved more money and worn less clothing (I had no idea how incredible my figure was).

Travelled, the rucksack on your back, see you next year type of travels.

Also been wiser with money, I'm now in my 40's and still rent. I'm very happy but there is always a nagging doubt at the precariousness of renting. The 1st of August is the start of our Big Budget, so it's not even like I learned quickly

There is a real theme here, which I’m going to stick too, TRAVEL!

Once you have other financial responsibilities, holidays take a real back seat. Do as much as you can as young as you can!

To be fair like others my crappy living with parents in a shit job years did allow me to save for a deposit

My biggest regrets are that I didn't travel and that I wasted 10 years on a relationship where he thought he was better than me. If I had my time again I'd have kicked him into touch sooner and gone on an adventure. I am in my 50's now and I'll never be able to have an adventure.

Not stopped exercising.

I was as fit as a butcher's dog till I left uni and got a desk job + car

As for travel? Nah. I'd prefer to do it in a lot more luxury like I do now, than backpacking the same route as a million other gappers. And have the life-experience to appreciate it more.

Wish I'd gone to work abroad for a few years, preferably in lots of different countries instead getting married at 22 to someone older than me. By the time I got divorced 8 years later I had to many responsibilities to just up and go. One day I will get to all the countries I want to visit but it will never be the exciting adventure it would have been in my early 20.

Having lots of sex, doing more exercise, drinking less. I did lots of travel (and still do) so haven't missed out on that front. But I do wish I'd spent fewer weekends with a hangover and got out a bit more.

I also regret not buying a flat when I first moved to London but hindsight is 20/20 and I was shit with money so probably wouldn't have got a mortgage anyway.

I wish I hadn't been so unconfident, but that's still the case now!

Naked photos of myself before I had children.

I was hot stuff.

Learnt to drive as soon as I was old enough.
Worked on my self confidence.
Appreciated my pre-children body (though I do have the naked pics! @Eggproducer)
Not taken the enormous amount of cannabis resin that destroyed my mental health for almost 2 years. 😩

Making time for me and not deferring to my partner’s wishes so I would have learned to drive ”don't worry, I'll drive you anywhere so no need” . Driving now petrifies me.

I did some travelling with the same partner but his idea of travel was arrive by train in a European city at 6 pm and leave for another city the next morning at 10 am having had a few beers, slept and had breakfast. That was sightseeing.

He really was a nob.

I suppose, looking back, if I was more assertive when younger... I do blame my parents for browbeating me and constantly criticising and poohpoohing my choices so I just deferred to what they said for an easy life, so they primed me to be bossed around.

20s are a time to:

• make good friends
• progress at work when you don’t have any other real commitments and can work late, travel, move jobs
• do things for you like sport and other hobbies
• travel and holiday and go to gigs and festivals etc

I’m 24 ‘prime of my life’ etc etc in a relationship with someone a fair bit older (15 years)

If you were my DD, I'd be absolutely gutted for you.

I headed overseas at exactly the age you are now. I'd done my Masters and was beyond ready for life to start.

It did.

I had a ball in my 20s. Footloose, care-free and responsibility-free. No regrets - just thankful to my parents for encouraging both me and DB to do what they did - go out and live life while you're young. Enjoy it.

You have the rest of your life to settle down and be domesticated. I can't fathom why anyone would rush into it.

OP I understand I’m the same age as you bar one year. My partner is only 4 years older than me and I often wonder this, but we’re doing everything now, together, before children and marriage. We’ve ticked off destinations that are on most people’s bucket lists as luxury holidays. We’re working to improve ourselves and make ourselves our best selves together. And I may regret it later not having rampant sex with many many many more men I’ve done one year of it mind you 😂 🙈 or if he suddenly turns out to be a fucking bastard like most men seem to do on MN, then I may regret the years invested in him building a home and life with him but the fact is I’m a home maker, I always have been. I want what I never ever had, and the man I’ve found is perfect in my eyes for that. There’s no manual to this life and it all depends on what you believe your here for, and everyone you ask will be different. You’ll have regrets now of what you wish you did last year, last week, yesterday but all you can do is live your best you. Even though I’m not near there I’m trying. That’s all we can do x

Living abroad for at least a while
In our 20’s we had no dc, jobs that would transfer abroad and a flat that we could have rented out very easily, would have been pretty simple to move overseas but I was resistant and now Elderly parents and dc at school etc would make it a mammoth undertaking
And don’t get fat, it’s easier not to get fat than lose weight. And take better care of your teeth.

I have name changed as it’s quite personal.

In my 20s I believed I’d meet someone one day and plenty of time ...

I’m now 38, nearly 39.

My friends have babies, toddlers and preschool children. They spend weekends with their families.

I’m facing a future without a husband or partner or without children of my own. Coming to terms with this probably won’t be possible.

My huge regret is not trying to find a nice man.

If you're feeling like this now the feelings will only get stronger. You have plenty of time ahead of you to worry about buying houses and starting a family.

I wish I'd:

• pushed my parents to let me go to uni
• not let myself get fat and unfit
• not got married so young (or at all)
• made some friends
• travelled more (I've travelled a fair bit but wish I'd pushed my exh to be less tight and let us go more than once a year)

Travel seems to be a common theme which I would love to do more of so that's definitely going on the list!

Some of you make some good points regarding the older partner and still having plenty of time left to settle down - I am worried that the older I get the more I will feel like this.

But as someone said above I guess I can't worry too much about it because I will always regret something even if I feel like I did everything I wanted to do..

Thank you for your responses I didn't expect so many people to reply!

I spent my 20s having 2 kids with an older man (20 years older). Then when I hit 30 and he was 50 the gap seemed further apart than ever.

When we met he was an interesting older man in his early 40s and I was a naive quite mature young woman in my very early 20s.

When we split he was a grumpy, tired older man in his early 50s whereas I was a young, vibrant for life woman in her early 30s.

My partner now is only 3 years older than me and we seem to be navigating life together easily whereas with the older ex he felt more like my safe caretaker who just got grumpier and less willing to have fun or try new things because he had been there done that etc.

Travelled more. Not just little holidays but properly seeing the world. We have gone abroad a fair bit with the dc and are now able to do so on our own but I still wish we had done so while we were younger!

Wish I'd bought a shit hole 1 bed in West Hampstead for 60k in 1996, fresh out of Uni. Didn't because I wanted to live with my friends in a party flat.

Wish I'd started weight training much younger

I wish I had figured out my career path and saved better before buying a house. I also wish I had done more travelling even just a few city breaks or U.K. breaks. I have travelled since getting a house but would have liked to have done more