If your friend lost weight rapidly..

[sunnysunchild]

Basically shes gone down a dress size 16/18 to a 14.... (was overweight to start with, not massively obese, but definitely on the chubbier side...
And you knew she was stressed out to the max with work and life shit.
Would you tell her she looked good/better etc? Or would you just not mention the weight loss?

I'd be a listening ear for the stress stuff. I'd ask her if she was looking after herself through it all and probe from there.

Why would you not mention it?

How long??

I'm not sure if shes dieting or just not eating. She does look better though.. I worry its mental health related..

I just dont want to make a huge deal out of weight loss if it is cos shes stressed out...

I don’t think the weight loss needs mentioning specifically, though if she’s genuinely looking nice/well, it can’t do her any harm to hear a compliment now and again.

I wouldn't comment on the weight loss unless she brought it up but I would ask her how she was doing

You could just ask outright if she has meant to loose weight or it is the stress.

Why mention it? Presumably she has already realised - clothes looser, that sort of thing.

Hardly a worry at this size, might be if it was 10/12 to an 8 or 6. I'd be chuffed if it was me.

Just say she looks good, you don’t have to comment on her weight specifically. And please don’t ask her if she’s ok or meant to lose the weight - it’s very annoying. You could say something like ‘goodness I’m stressed these days - how about you?’ If she says she’s fine leave it.

I would just try to me nice. Compliment her but not specifically on the weight. Just things like she is looking nice today. Or you really her dress/top/etc. This work so either way as if she is definitely dieting and exercising it’s nice for her to know she is looking good and it’s paying off. And if it’s more because of mental health or stress issues then a nice compliment from a friend is still good and supportive.

I wouldn’t comment. I certainly wouldn’t say she’s looking nice/well unless you can be absolutely positive that the weight loss isn’t the result of dodgy diet pills or an eating disorder.

I posted about this recently as this happened to me. I was not overweight, as such, to start with, but very out of shape and definitely not slim. I lost a ton through a very stressful time.

I don’t mind the compliments on the weight loss but I do hate to hear people say they’re jealous or that I’m lucky or that they wish they could do the same. I wouldn’t wish my life in the last 6 months on anyone.

So it’s ok to say it but please be sensitive in what you say after that.

There isn't any need to state the obvious - I'm sure she knows she has lost weight. If she looks great because of a nice outfit, sure, but there isn't any need to tell her she has lost weight.

I'd only comment in a neutral way as it's not really positive weight loss if she's only lost because she's going through a tough time, even if she does look better. She might not be happy with it herself. I'd just be checking in with her, seeing how she is.

Just say she looks good, you don’t have to comment on her weight specifically. And please don’t ask her if she’s ok or meant to lose the weight - it’s very annoying.

^This. I am a firm believer in complimenting friends (& strangers, really) whenever appropriate, but there are ways to do it without specifically referencing weight loss. Nothing wrong with ‘you look fantastic’ or similar.

in a caring way you could mention it, rather than complimentary

I would mention it. 'You look great. You've lost weight. You look fantastic".