Painfully shy child

[Sufferingfromconstantbrainfart]

I have a just turned four year old who is painfully shy in new situations, particularly if there are any men present. She is very close with her father, with her uncles and grandfathers but if she encounters any other man she literally freezes on the spot and won’t move. We had a school induction recently which was fairly disastrous too and she was the clingiest child by far, this time there was no men present. I had to pick her up to get her into the room and then I couldn’t put her down as again she just froze and couldn’t move. Any advice on how I can help her? She isn’t being difficult, she is genuinely extremely anxious. She started nursery about 10 months ago for a couple of days a week but again is very anxious there but I always put that down to the fact that there is a man working in her room. I just want to help her relax and not to worry but I’m at a loss what to do.

My son is like this, and I remember the same. I gave him lots of reassurance and tried to act casual about leaving him- telling him I was just leaving to make him lunch and then I'd be back. I attached a key ring to my keys and I made sure he noticed it as something that was important to me. On his first day of school when he became upset about me leaving him I attached it to his pencil case to reassure him I would come home. I've also had to do this if I am not there to put him to bed and at night, he will sleep with it or something of mine under his pillow.
And ignore people who say your daughter is being difficult- you know your child and whether she is genuinely upset