**Lighter wording** DS isn't liked and doesn't like anyone

[worriedmotherhen]

He's 20 months. 3 members of family who see him regularly have fed back to me that he 'doesn't like them' and 'he never interacts or wants to engage'.

Even DH says 'he's not normal'. I'm starting to get really frustrated and worried (I'm not frustrated with DS, just the situation).

I feel like I have absolutely nobody to talk to properly. It's so hard. People are clearing frustrated with him and it isn't coming from a bad place. It is incredibly difficult when a child gives nothing back, at all.

I often feel drained by his lack of interaction and engagement and I'm his mum, who gets the very best of him although that's probably because I have boobs.

It's funny, he won't play with me. But he would laugh if I tickle him. But unlike other DC I've seen, he won't sort of 'egg me on' for more if that makes sense? It's like he completely forgets the interaction if I withdraw. He doesn't give a crap

He isn't miserable. I just wanted to make that very clear. He's smiley and seems very content. He just doesn't share his happiness with others.

I went to the GP to get his hearing checked as it often feels like he's ignoring me/whoever else. His hearing appears fine but we've been referred to the 0-22 months team as I mentioned his social side of things. GP certainly didn't seem concerned and DS was all sparkly smiles and twinkly eyes for him Very odd.

Does anyone else have this or has been through similar?

I think you are absolutely right to have spoken to your gp, just in case. But really, I can't believe that your family members have complained that a baby 'doesn't like' them. He is still so very little and it's entirely normal to be focused entirely on mum at that age. They need to leave him be and let him interact at his own pace and in a way he's comfortable with.

I think you are right to be concerned. It could be nothing or could be autisim.

Either way try to play with him as much as possible. Stacking cubes, race cars, throw balls, anything to encourage him to interact. I'd switch the TV off to reduce distraction.

Yes. I was worried about my DS the same way when he was about 18 months. He didn't smile nor seek engagement. Didn't seem bothered by who picked him up. Completely different to my older child. He is 10 now and quite introverted. An absolute treasure of a child but no one but those close to him would know that. He is very funny, very happy and quite competitive but in a social setting will try to fade into the background and will not open his mouth unless asked a direct question. He Has lots of good friends which says to me that there is always room for those who listen to the noisier ones. I have had frustrated times when I wish he was more outgoing/pushy for himself because extroverts do generally triumph in our society. Having said that his (many) positive qualities are such a delight when you see them.

I worried about Autism when he was small and not interacting the way I expected but he is the same now (does not automatically smile when talking to someone) but he is not autistic. Could be your ds just does not need as much interaction as everyone expects.

Hi there.

Have you considered sending him to nursery?

He doesn't need nursery.

I say he's probably very quiet, I am the same. Gosh even my own ds says I'm hard to make smile or laugh. He sounds sweet, give him time

Why are your relatives judging a 20 month old child so harshly? It just sounds weird. My little boy used to close his eyes when he didn't want to interact at that age. Didn't bother me or our family in the slightest. He grew into a perfectly normal kid.

What are your professional qualifications to say that this child doesn’t need to develop social interaction skills at nursery, @Lovethetimeyouhave?

Op how is he at groups? Does he show interest in other children?

You are doing the right thing getting him referred. It's probably better to get referred and rule autisim out than to delay and find out he's autistic when he starts nursery or school.

The gold standard in society is to be an extrovert. Heaven forbid you've ended up with an introvert 🙄

My Little girl was the same as a baby , she wouldn't look at people , go
To Them by her own choice generally she didn't like anybody or at least that's what it get like for her it took a while to find her "mojo" and now those same people she loves profusely she's 5 .
Fine example would be the speech therapist came to see her and do some play with her she refused to make eye contact , ignored every thing she said to her ( around 2) this happened for about 2 years. Then suddenly she liked her ! now when she sees her she rushes up to her

@ineedaknittedhat agree 100%, makes me bloody angry.

Knittedhat there's a difference between being introvert and not interacting with other people.

Op has raised legitimate concerns and I believe she is right to get her child refered.